I’m hitting 32 weeks today and the countdown clock says 56 days to go until my due date. Not that it hasn’t felt “real” the whole time but getting inside of the 2 month mark is bringing so many thoughts and feels to the forefront of my mind and heart.
Attending child birth classes has made the fact that I’m actually going to birth this baby…and soon…feel very real and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about it. But what I’m even more nervous about than childbirth is becoming someone’s mom. I have so many questions running through my head around “am I going to be a good mom?” It’s also really making me stop and think about how I show up in the world and things about myself that I’d like to continue working on so that I can model better for him.
I’m also thinking so much about what it’s going to feel like to hold him for the first time, what he’s going to look like and what his little personality will be like. I honestly feel like my mind is pretty consumed with all things baby at this point in pregnancy. Early in pregnancy I wanted to learn as much as I could about pregnancy and now I’m so baby focused. I just can’t imagine what life will be like with him in it…all I can say right now is that I can’t wait to find out.
32 WEEKS PREGNANCY UPDATE
Baby is likely weighing in somewhere around 3-4 pounds and measures 15-17 inches. Once again, I’m not on board with the squash comparison unless it’s one of those super giant summer squashes that overgrow in people’s gardens. Ha.
Here’s baby G’s milestones for the week!
- Lanugo, the soft later of downy hair on his skin, starts to fall off this week and will continue to until birth.
- Baby’s movements might start to become less forceful as he gets more crowded in there (nope, not yet!).
- Baby is likely settled into head down position (check! please stay that way buddy!).
- Digestive system is all ready to go.
- Baby’s bones are still soft but hardening in prep for birth.
HOW I’M FEELING AT 32 WEEKS PREGNANT
In a word, pregnant.
Weight gain/body changes: 18 pounds gained. One noticeable body change is that my nipples have darkened and I read something in The Bump app that it’s so a preemie can see them for breastfeeding. That’s a crazy thought! (Keep cooking baby boy.) I said this last week but you can really see my veins so much more, especially in my breasts and belly. My Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy book says this is due to the increased blood that the body produces in pregnancy combined with the heart pumping it faster to move it all through the body.
Workouts/workout modifications: this mama is slowing down. Here is what I did last week…
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: hatha yoga practice (very gentle, very slow)
Thursday: this strength workout (this was my “big” workout for the week)
Friday: 50-minute walk
Saturday: hot yoga
Sunday: 40-minute walk
Monday: rest
Oh my goodness y’all…these days a 3-mile walk feels like a 5-mile run!
Symptoms:
- I’m getting really tired again. Yesterday I took a rest day from working out and spent most of the day sitting and working. Even still, when I got to the couch last night I remarked to Tanner how physically exhausted I was. He reminded me, “you’re growing a human!”
- Night sweats.
- Sometimes I get some pelvic pain when I stand up from a sitting position but it goes away pretty quickly. From what I’ve read, the bones in the pelvis start to spread/relax later in pregnancy and this isn’t uncommon. It’s not anything intense but I can definitely feel it from time-to-time!
- I don’t know that this is a “symptom” but things like rolling over in bed and sitting up from a lying on my back in bed or on the couch are getting challenging. I feel like I have NO core strength. And forget me being able to demo most anything to my yoga students these days. It’s comical to even try! I’ve been using students and other teachers to demo things.
- Slow digestion but increased hunger. Not a fun combo! Definitely doing more snacking these days.
Food aversions/cravings: nothing new to report here. Protein for me is mostly chicken or turkey. Not a lot of interest in seafood or red meat. Still loving salt and vinegar chips, pineapple, smoothies, grilled cheese, pizza, kombucha and granola/cereal. Still doing better with veggies!
Nursery progress: we’ve been working on the nursery! I’m admittedly a terrible decorator so it’s been a little stressful for me but we’re figuring it out. Once again, it’s also hard because we’re in a rental so while we’re making some changes, we’re not making too many. There are things like the carpet that I’d love to change but obviously am not going to!
Here’s what’s left to do for the nursery:
- Hang art (and probably order a few more things or do some shelving).
- Get some sort of piece to go by the glider or under the window for things like white noise machine, salt lamp, drinks, etc. (Guessing I’ll be sitting there a lot…).
- Install ceiling fan (it came in today).
- Repaint trim (my amazing painter is going to do that). We were going to try to live with the existing trim but it’s just bad and looks so yellow against the clean white walls so…
- Keep working on closet organization.
- Order a floor lamp.
- Crib mattress and bedding.
Reading/listening to: I listen to The Birth Hour podcast all the time. I love hearing other women’s birth stories and it’s been SO helpful for me to hear a variety of different stories. I also enjoy The Birthful Podcast and liked this episode on newborn sleep. I’m actually thinking of signing up for a Birthful Course called “Thrive with Your Newborn.”
I ordered Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and it came in today. From what I’ve heard, it’s one of the best resources for preparing for birth. On the topic of birth, many of you commented on my 31 Week Pregnancy Post that you recommend that I stay open-minded around the topic of hoping for an unmedicated or intervention-free birth. I’ve stated this before but just want to say again that I TOTALLY am staying open-minded. In no way do I want to set myself up to feel like any aspect of my birth experience was a failure nor would I ever risk the health of my baby or myself if medical intervention was recommended or necessary. Or I might just decide that I do want pain relief and that’s okay too!
That said, I do think it’s important to educate yourself around birth options and to have preferences. It’s not a plan, but it’s a preference. I’ve never given birth so again, I am terrified, but I’m also really trying to prepare myself the best that I can for doing this without medication or intervention if that’s in the cards for me. I had a long talk with Tanner about it last night and he is super supportive no matter how I choose to labor and birth, he said it’s my body and he will support me fully and enthusiastically regardless.
Fun shares:
- I’m having so much fun going through the hand me down baby clothes that we’ve received and this sweet newborn outfit made my heart melt!
- I had a REALLY wild dream a few nights ago that when we brought the baby home from the hospital the first night he slept all night. In my dream I woke up in a panic that I needed to feed him and when Tanner brought him to me I looked down and was nursing a kitten. WHAT!? Definitely not birthing a cat. Haha.
- I wasn’t sure if my family would be able to make it for my smaller family/friends baby shower and I just found out this week that my mom will be here along with my aunt and my cousin. Yay! My mom is staying for a few weeks after and helping me get ready for baby.
- Next week in our child birth class we are going over newborn care. I actually haven’t spent a ton of time around babies or caring for babies. I was never a big baby sitter growing up. I honestly can probably count on one hand the number of diapers I’ve changed in my life. I think Tanner has more experience than I do! Oh and I am certified in infant and child CPR through the annual training I do for group exercise.
QUESTIONS
Your feedback on what to pack in the hospital bag was BEYOND helpful. Thank you. Here are this week’s questions! 🙂
Anyone else not have a ton of “baby” experience before baby? Did you find that it came naturally or how did you learn the ropes?
How did you feel going into your first childbirth experience and becoming a mom? Were you also scared/anxious? Did anything help?
Diaper bags. Let me have your recommendations! What do/did you use? Did your partner/husband have one as well? (I’m clueless about these things.)
Did you find nursing-specific bras/tanks to be helpful or did you just do the pull up and feed technique? I have friends who have done both. Any recommendations here and favorite nursing bra/tanks if you’re a fan?
I’m super excited for you! I’ve been a mom for 3.5 months and honestly sometimes I still forget that I am a “mom” because it just feels like I have this little baby to take care of 24/7… ha! After 27 hours of labour and 2.5 hours of pushing my daughter was born at 3:30 in the morning. We chose not to find out what we were having and were totally surprised to have a girl! I have to say, I did not feel that immediate and overwhelming love that so many people talk about… I was exhausted and delirious and desperately wanted to sleep… However, that love has grown and grown and grown over the last 3.5 months and even though I have days where I’m going a bit crazy because she won’t nap (today!) I love this little girl so freaking much and can’t imagine my life without her in it.
I wanted to share that experience though because I feel like so many people talk about how you are immediately changed when that baby is placed on your chest and you immediately get overwhelmed by the most intense love you’ve ever felt in your life… and I’m sure that’s the case for lots of people but just was not the case for me at all, however within a few days I definitely knew that feeling and I would say my love for her only grows with each day 🙂
Can’t wait to continue following along once your baby boy arrives!
Same thing happened to me! I was mostly just relieved she was out and the love had to grow from there. Haha
I can second these feelings. I found that the love and bond grew over time – at first I felt more scared about doing something wrong than anything else. I also had almost no baby experience.
For nursing bras, I ended up using either a sleep nursing bra that you can pull up, or just regular sports bras for pulling up. I also recommend the washable bra pads from Kindred Bravely or the disposable ones from Lansinoh. I honestly could not go without pads the whole time I was breastfeeding – I’m not sure if that is normal.
Ditto the feelings mentioned above. I had a short (4 hour) but VERY intense med-free birth and while I was so excited to meet my daughter, I was mainly SO relieved to have her out! I’m normally a pretty emotional person and in the short video clip my husband took of my daughter being placed on my chest, you can see the look of sheer relief and triumph on my face with no tears whatsoever. I felt protective of her immediately and had this drive to meet her needs, but I would say that overwhelming love came in the weeks to come. I remember crying to my husband that I worried we were terrible parents who perhaps didn’t love her enough (postpartum emotions are intense man!), which is amusing to think back on now because we are over the moon in love with her. So yeah, everyone’s experience is going to be a bit different in terms of how they bond with their child and you will be an incredible mom no matter how things happen for you!
I just have to add to these experiences with my own because I think this is so common, yet no one really talks about it. Or at least no one talked about it with me. When my daughter was born I felt love for her of course, but what I didn’t feel right away was attachment if that makes any sense. I feel like attachment comes with time, experiences, and memories (sometimes not even that much time). But that lacking feeling totally devastated me and I spent a good chunk of time really beating myself up about it and thinking I was this horrible person. Child birth is so complicated and different for everyone. If this your experience too (and it totally may not be!) just know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. The feeling grows every single day and I couldn’t be more attached (in a healthy way) to my 14 month old. She’s the best thing in my whole life. If I ever have a second child I won’t even sweat these feelings if they come up again because I know they pass. But I somehow had NO idea I might feel this way and was blind sighted by it.
You will be a great mom! The beginning can be scary and you’ll feel uncertain about a lot of things, but your instinct will certainly kick in even with no prior baby experience. It just happens!
I hate it when people don’t encourage women to have a natural birth when they have expressed the desire to do so. It takes dedication simply because so many people don’t believe women can do it. I had a natural birth at a birth center and am about to have my second the same way. You absolutely can do it, if you decide that is what you want! (Sorry that was kind of a rant! ?)
Also, Ina May Gaskins book is awesome, I’m actually reading it again to prep for my next birth. I think you will love it.
I’m so excited for you!!
I would recommend getting a couple nursing tank tops, I did it both ways but in the beginning I felt like nursing tanks were easier and more discreet and you can just slip nursing pads right in them. I just ordered a couple of whatever was highly rated on amazon plus had one from target which wasn’t special but worked just fine.
While I think it is great that you were able to have the birth experience you wanted, I have to respectfully disagree that an intervention free birth is something “you absolutely can do if you decide you want to”. I fully support any woman asserting her own preferences regarding how a birth progresses but for many women interventions ARE necessary for a safe delivery. Probably more than you realize because some women are still embarrassed by their story. That’s why so many women used to die in childbirth before modern medicine! I believe I would have been one of those women without the c section I ultimately had.
I was genuinely shocked by my own delivery experience and I think the comments Jen received were other people who were surprised by their own experience and wanted to share a friendly heads up. I certainly would never share my experience to discourage anyone from their own plans but I think it’s helpful to hear about the range of deliveries that are now normal and necessary.
I have to agree with this. I wanted a medication free birth with my entire body and soul. I tried incredibly hard, but ended up with an emergency C section after 24 hours. Hearing things pre birth like “anyone can do it if they put their mind to it” was really damaging to me postpartum. I read Ina may gaskins book before birth as well and honestly it contributed to my feelings that it was my fault and that I failed. I completely support anyones goals in however they want their birth to go, and will be fighting tooth and nail for an unmedicated VBAC this fall. But what i have learned is that the type of all or nothing information (anyone can do it, all women bodies can birth a baby vaginally, interventions are unnecessary for the most part) was ultimately unhelpful and damaging. I personally believe that a happy medium of understanding the data, the cascade of interventions, having a goal and reading inspirational and positive stories of all kinds of births – will set the mama up for success in a more holistic way.
I agree with Zoey about Ina’s book. Please take some things in that book with a grain of salt- such as how it talks about not actually needing the RhoGAM shot if you are an Rh negative. I was kinda shocked to see that the book suggested it was actually unnecessary (I’m a negative and got the shot twice- no issues!) Otherwise sounds like you have a great birth plan!
Agree 100% with this comment and I will add that it goes both ways. Because I was totally clueless about pregnancy, I actually wanted a C-section. I have extremely low tolerance for pain and the thought of actually giving birth vaginally simply terrified me. I ended up having a mostly intervention-free vaginal delivery much to my surprise. I will say that I did read up a lot on natural birth and I tried to maintain a positive attitude going into it. I didn’t care much for Ina May’s book but I loved Birthing from Within, which even though is super crunchy, really helped me process my feelings on childbirth and motherhood. Like Jen said, it is best to have an open mind because after a certain point during labor, things are truly out of our control.
Only child here- no experience with babies whatsoever until I had my own..hardest part is swaddling but I bought swaddles with Velcro which helped.
I had an epidural and planned on delivering without c-section but Sam’s heart rate would drop throughout labor and the nurses said he was face up. I was done laboring at this point and wanted him out.
Diaper bag- I never used one to be honest. I had the travel changing wallet looking thing and that got me through outings.
I’m due with baby #3 July 25th and both of my previous deliveries went very well. I suffer from anxiety and was quite nervous as to how I would deal with labor. It was really helpful for me to hear my doctor say, “Well, you’ve never been in labor before so we’ll just see how it goes.” And I ended up showing up to the hospital 9cm dilated and she was born 2 hours later! I don’t say this to brag but I want women to know that labor isn’t always super long and super painful. Us women have been doing this for tens of thousands of years and we’be been keeping the human race going. That was helpful to think about also 🙂
I really like the Gillian O’Malley tanks and bras from Target. I felt is was easier and more comfortable, at least when they’re super little, to just unclip, whip out the boob and feed.
You’ll do great!
Hey there!
A couple recommendations. I HOPED (like you) for an unmedicated birth and was blessed (may not agree with this term during labor haha) with both of mine being intervention free. I credit 80% of this to a birth course I took called the Bradley Method. If you are interested, it is an AMAZING course. And it helps you to see when intervention is needed and how to navigate all the drs, nurses, and everyone else’s opinion at a time that you aren’t really wanting to think much hahaha!
Also, as far as nursing bras, etc. I spent a fortune on my first with the fancy ones. They work and do the trick, especially if you want to nurse in public. But, with my second, I got smart and went to Walmart/Target. They have nursing tanks that are awesome! One, because they are cheap and two because the tank covers your belly and although it eventually gets back to normal, it is nice to have that extra layer over your tummy for a bit post birth. GOOD LUCK!!!
Hi jen! I’m so excited for you :). I had a baby last year, and I was terrified about becoming a mom because I didn’t have a ton of experience with babies. I was that woman in the hospital classes taking pages of notes haha. But I promise that it comes naturally. It definitely helps to go to the classes and to read about baby care, but your maternal instincts definitely kick in. I got kind of overwhelmed by reading a ton, so I mostly tried to focus on infant safety and what to look for in terms of health warning signs. But you’re going to be a great mom no matter what. The best advice someone gave me was “your baby has never had a mom before either. He has no one to compare you to.” Meaning, he didn’t have any experience either- we were just figuring it out together! In terms of the birth, I was the complete opposite of you lol- I knew from day one that I would want the epidural! I was so scared of the pain. But I agreed to stay open minded in all aspects and it really made the entire experience more enjoyable. I trusted my doctor, so when he suggested that we needed to do something or try something I was all for it. But I was also informed about the risks of certain interventions so I could ask educated questions. It’s important to be your own advocate! Lastly, for the diaper bag, we have one and I just leave it in our car at all times and really only use it for diaper or outfit emergencies. I also have a diaper bag backpack that I looove to use when we travel or when we’re out and about and I need both of my hands. I’d definitely recommend that! Oh, and speaking of being out and about and traveling, we have the Phil and Teds floating high chair that attaches to tables, and it is a LIFESAVER. We use it every time we go out to eat and it folds up so small that it’s easy to throw in our suitcases when we travel. I love it!!
I have been loving reading your pregnancy updates – definitely makes me want to have another LO :).
I was an anxious ball of stress about all things baby. I was an only child and never babysat or liked to hold other babies. When my twins came along, it all fell into place. A few things that helped me:
– take the breastfeeding pillow you plan to use to the hospital.
– Do not stress about how much they sleep/where they sleep/how they fall asleep, etc. I credit the massive hormone letdown and our crazy culture around infant sleep for my post partem depression. Do what works for you and your baby. You are not a bad mom if you nurse your son to sleep (babies have been doing it for centuries, it’s just us westerners who think it’s a bad idea). Sorry to rant but that was my biggest lesson learned.
As for diaper bag, backpack all the way! If you are into baby wearing, it makes it so easy to go out and about hands free. I ended up with the honest company diaper backpack and it’s been great for me and my twins!
So excited for you and the baby! You’ll be a great mom.
I love a backpack diaper bag. I was already lopsided dragging a baby carrier I hated adding an over the shoulder bag. Try the Fawn Design diaper bag. It’s AMAZING. It’s a diaper bag/backpack in one. And the price point is perfect.
Going to agree with a couple others and recommend some Target nursing tanks! It’s super helpful in the beginning when everything is new and awkward (and leaking haha) and you don’t want to be sitting around naked all day to nurse! I’m a mom to a 1 year old and love following your journey! 🙂
Congratulations! You are going to be such a great mother! I read the book The Happiest Baby on the Block before giving birth and found it helpful for newborn sleep!
We have a pretty generic non “baby” shoulder bag that my husband doesn’t mind carrying. I will say that a backpack is a must for traveling though! Ours was never a baby specific one
Good luck with the birth!! I had hoped for an unmedicated birth after taking Bradley classes but never really got the “mindset” piece down. I feel like your yoga and meditation practice will be sooo helpful to you in this regard! And having a doula! I ended up with a csection and everyone is doing fine! There is SO much to learn about core rehab though
Finally I wanted to let you know that we use IKEA spice racks as nursery bookshelves. They are the perfect size and SO cute! If you google or Pinterest it, there are a lot of examples. Other than the crib and rocker, we decorated our whole nursery from Target and IKEA. Cheap and cute!!
So excited for you Jen!! Those last few months of pregnancy can feel like an eternity, but you’ll have a sweet newborn in your hands before you know it. I dreamed I was nursing a cat when I was pregnant too!! Ha so weird!!
RELAX! ?. You will think you need everything, but you don’t. You love every single outfit, he will wear 3. It’s ok. Do what you got to do, feed how you feel comfortable, endure the unstoppable visits and accept ALL the food drop offs. You have no idea how much you will loathe some of those and adore the others. Enjoy being a family. Also, bring home blanket for the fur babies to smell & get used to from baby. You go welcome them without baby because they will have missed YOU. Cautiously intro baby to those babies with claims already staked in the house. ??????????♀️??♀️?
You look so amazing for 32 weeks!! I fully support your slowing down on the movement front- I have 2 kids and I totally regret not resting more before both of them were born. I used to get so annoyed when people would say “nap now before the baby comes!” But oh man, how right they were… haha!
Just wanted to say for diaper bags- I had a regular one strap diaper bag when I had my daughter, but that thing got so heavy and my shoulder hurt from carrying her in her car seat and having the weight all uneven… get a backpack!!! Best decision ever. I used skiphop’s downtown diaper backpack when my son was born and it helped so much. Also I felt less frumpy!
Target’s nursing tank tops (Gilligan & O’Malley) are your BEST friend from day one until you stop nursing. They are so easy to wear and layer under everything. I wore them religiously while breast feeding!!!!
You are going to be a great mom! I had zero experience with babies and never changed a diaper, until I had my own baby. Don’t worry, you learn as you go along. Baby G will teach you. First six weeks were the hardest, but you get through it. As for diaper bag, I recommend a backpack that doesn’t look like a diaper bag (but totally is). That way you have your hands free and you don’t have to carry an extra bag with your stuff. Getting close now. So excited for you! ?
OMG when I was pregnant, I had that same cat dream. Lol!!
I didn’t have much baby experience at all before I had Alex. Trial by fire. You just figure it out. Promise.
I remember weeks 30-34 as being my most exhausted of pregnancy! You are not alone. My energy picked up in the home stretch. Also labor is just not as bad as I bought it would be. I describe it as the worst pain of my life, but not that bad! It is intense and uncomfortable and not fun but then it’s over….
Hi! So enjoy reading your blog! You are going to be such a great mom! Full of energy and fun!
On another note, I remember you mentioning your awesome painter a few times. Do you mind sharing his information?
Thanks!
I don’t have children so I don’t have any advice to share, but I just wanted to say that you look wonderful and you’re going to be a GREAT mama. If the care that you put into other aspects of your life (this blog, your job, your dogs, etc.) is any indication, your baby boy will have one terrific mother!
And I really sympathize with the night sweats. I get them every so often (used to get them more often) and they really are terrible. 🙁
I am SO obsessed with the Birth Hour podcast stories – I never thought I would but now that it’s so close and so real, I take so much comfort in hearing other women tell their story. And Ina May’s Book has been so helpful!
Take a deep breath, and don’t overthink things. You can only plan and prepare so much for childbirth, parenthood and caring for an infant/child. I didn’t have much experience with babies before having kids and my husband had even less. You both figure it all out pretty quickly. You won’t get it 100% right. There will be tears when you can’t figure out why your kid is crying and there will be laughter when you realize you’re covered in a blowout at 3am. But that little one will make it all worth it. There really is nothing more amazing then holding your baby for the first time; the love is so intense and like nothing you can possible imagine.
I’m literally so excited for your little guy to arrive. Jen, you’re going to be an INCREDIBLE mama! xo
Be careful in the birth stories. I haven’t list Ned to those podcasts but know that most births are uneventful. My advice- labor at home as long as possible. My midwife said that if she talked to me in the phone and you can say yes the contractions are __ minutes apart and yes the are regular then she would say stay home. If she talked to me in the phone and your response is yes.. hold on, grunt, groan (dealing with difficult contraction), ok yes ___ minutes apart then it’s time to come in. If you go the hospital too soon it starts the clock for interventions. If you go and are already 6 cm, you’re almost done. I was scared by the quick labor stories but the odds of that being you as a first time mom are almost zero.
It really does come naturally. I’m a big planner, but I found a lot of books a little overwhelming and often contradictory. Every baby is different, and you’ll figure out what works for you and him. So not a go-with-the-flow person, but the newborn stage was so much more enjoyable with that mentality.
I actually wasn’t nervous about the birth process, which is probably not the norm. My thought process was basically, well this baby is going to have to come out somehow, not like I have a choice in the matter, so there’s no point in worrying about it! My delivery was not smooth or uneventful, but it was still the most amazing experience of my life.
Backpack diaper bag 100%.
I had a couple nursing bras, but mostly wore sports bras that I pulled up to nurse. I kind of found it more annoying to have the bulk underneath when I was trying to nurse.
Jen! So excited for you! Glad the Birthful podcast is helpful – and thanks so much for the shout out! I
love how you’ve broken down your post into ongoing sections. What a great way to track and share your experience.
I find that taking care of a baby is something that will come relatively easily since you will get a lot of practice (changing diapers, burping/or not, bathing (they are quite slippery!). The harder part is figuring out your own baby’s temperament, rhythm and cycles… and that it’s always changing. Getting some knowledge on the range of what normal is for babies is certainly super helpful!
Have you read Rhea Dempsey’s book “Birth With Confidence: Savvy Choices for Normal Birth”? It’s one of my favorites for working through labor.
Wishing you an uneventful rest of your pregnancy, and a flowing birth!
I had very little baby experience before Charley (my daughter) was born, and I’ve never been a “kid person” so I was more worried about the experience of having a baby than I was about birthing a baby. I am strong and I trusted my body to do what it was made to do.
But when Charley came, we figured it out together. My Mom gave me such good advice. She said “you’re good at relationships, and being a mom is having a relationship with your child.” It helped me to think of it that way. Even when she was little bitty, I still felt like we were getting to know each other and it helped me be patient with myself and her.
Like you, I preferred an intervention free birth, but they had to induce me at 39 weeks due to low fluid, so the pitocin made contractions very very painful and I hadn’t progressed after 6 hours of HARD labor. Not even one cm. I agreed to an epidural at the recommendation of my doctor, and after 4 hours I went from 4 cm to 10 cm and was ready to push. It was the best decision for me, for sure.
ALSO, they were able to give me a measured amount of the epidural drug. They gave me a button to press if I needed more, which I only pressed once. So the pain relief wore off by the time I was ready to push. It was kind of perfect for me because I really wanted to FEEL the baby come out. And I did, girl. I FELT IT. And I was able to push along with my contractions, which was important to me. I really didn’t want to be trying to push the baby out and without being able to feel my legs or pelvis area. So… just keep in mind, even if an epidural ends up happening for you, it’s not an all-or-nothing situation!! 🙂
Re: diaper bags, I got a grey and leather Little Unicorn diaper bag because it was neutral and almost looked like a big purse. Also it wasn’t too girly for my husband to feel comfortable carrying (not that he cares – he’s very enlightened 😉 But if I had it to do over again, I’d get a backpack version so I could be hands-free.
Re: nursing tanks, I didn’t love them. The little plastic clip bothered me. I’d rather just wear a cheap cami and a baralette, and pull them down and pull the boob up then it was time. 🙂
Jen,
I don’t usually comment like this, but I can’t resist throwing in my 2 cents. First, if you are 1/20 as good a mom as you are a yoga teacher, you will be amazing! That being said, I have never been so self-aware of my personal weaknesses since being a mom- you want so badly to do the best for your children and sometimes you’ll go to bed at night feeling like a rockstar mom and other times like you suck at mothering. You will grow as they grow…you will grow together through life. Your baby/child will love you unconditionally and vice versus. I am the youngest of 3 and never really enjoyed babysitting other people’s kids- but it is totally different when it is your own. It is a cliche but true, your heart will explode when you hold YOUR baby for the first time. Regarding “How did you feel going into your first childbirth experience and becoming a mom? Were you also scared/anxious? Did anything help?”. I was terrified b/c I am deathly afraid of getting an IV- like PANIC ATTACK/PASSING OUT afraid. (The nurse had to set me straight when I was throwing a fit while she was doing it. ;-)) I had followed What to Expect When Expecting religiously while pregnant with our first, and I brought a detailed birthing plan to the hospital. NOT ONE THING ON THAT PLAN OCCURRED and I ended up in c-section. Can you imagine how someone who is terrified of getting an IV would feel about getting cut open while awake? LOL! But seriously, while in it, it is all totally fine and an amazing experience. The drugs help with that. Giving birth and then getting your baby, is such an amazing journey… even IF nothing goes as planned. So, be nervous & practice yogic breathing, that is part of it and enjoy the amazing ride! Most important thing is to remain flexible as curveballs come your way- ride it with all of your strength. You have the strength. Something inside us women makes us adapt to this experience so we are willing to have more. You will do great! Practical tip- get as much sleep as you can while you have nursing help in the hospital. 😉
I knew basically nothing about babies when I had my son (he turns 2 next weekend). Somehow you just figure it out 🙂
My hubby and I picked out a backpack style diaper bag and I love it! It is so much easier when you are solo and trying to carry a diaper bag, baby and whatever else.
Whatever you decide on nursing tops, I would suggest only buying a few. I bought several things and then ended up not being able to produce enough milk, so the tops/bras were pretty much a waste.
Jen –
You are amazing. On the topic of birth, your body is stronger than you think. And you know you are strong! Ina Mays book will leave you feeling empowered and ready to rock a natural child birth. Trust yourself and you’ve got this!
Enjoy the last few weeks before you meet you little boy!!
Also, one thing that helped me achieve the natural birth I wanted was laboring at home as long as possible. Just throwing that out there too!
I commented above to chime in on my birth experience, but wanted to answer your other questions as well.
I didn’t have a ton of experience with little babies. I had babysat some, but it was mostly older kids and infants terrified me. Whenever I’d be around my friends with babies (especially until they could hold their head up), I never felt that pull to hold them and when they’d insist, I’d feel uncomfortable and nervous and sweaty. So yeah, I was nervous about being in charge of caring for my own but like everyone says, some of it is instinctual and the rest you figure out as you go along (not helpful ahead of time, but true).
I was nervous going into labor and wasn’t sure how I’d cope with pain and uncertainty. I remember my husband asking me when I was about where you were in pregnancy “So, has it dawned on you that the baby is a lot bigger than the place it’s supposed to come out of?” Um yeah, no shit buddy! In some ways, I feel like I handled labor as well as I could considering how fast everything went down (not much time to wrap my mind around things) and in other ways, I feel like I was not very present and was just hanging on for dear life (med free initially by choice but ultimately because there was no time for pain meds). Ultimately, there is no way to ever be completely prepared for birth and being informed about options but knowing that lots of factors could impact your preferences is the best way to approach things (that attitude helps as you parent as well!).
We had a neutral black and gray messenger style bag that either my husband or I felt fine carrying. If we have a second child, I would definitely consider getting a backpack style bag, but we managed just fine with the one we had.
I had a couple of nursing tanks and nursing sleep bras before I gave birth, but waited to buy more until I knew 1) if I would be able to nurse and 2) how big my boobs were going to be once my milk came in. I actually didn’t really like the nursing tanks – the clasps bugged me and I feel like I don’t look good in spaghetti strap style tanks (vanity for the win!). After the first week or two, I went and got some regular nursing bras from Target and wore those with my own tank tops that I would pull down to expose the bra. By the last few months of nursing, I was sick of nursing bras and wanted to go back to my regular bras so I would just pull them up when I had to nurse (probably not great in terms of stretching them out, but whatever). I also needed nursing pads the entire 16 months I nursed (I’m 6 months post weaning and I can still express a bit of milk!). I liked the re-usable, washable kind like Bamboobies.
Jen….you already are a Mom dear! Don’t forget those pups! They are practically like having children. You’re just in a pregnancy fog and don’t realize the experience you have. You will be an amazing Mom. I know it sounds crazy, but it just comes with the experience. No matter how much you try to prepare, just know you need to know how to change a diaper, feed a bottle and swaddle. The rest will fall into place. The experience is so rewarding and exhausting. Your emotions will be all over the place thanks to those raging hormones that don’t go away for weeks/months after the birth. Just remember you aren’t alone and one post on instagram will have advice and suggestions coming your way if you need it.
I struggled with natural birth for my first. I really wanted. I ended up with preeclampsia and had an emergency c section. I didn’t have the option to push because my OB was worried I’d have a stroke due to my high blood pressure. I worried if I had a second, I’d end up in labor with a 2 year old at home and not know what to do. I had it again and another emergency c! Just relax and it will most likely unfold in a way you could have never imagined and the end result is the same…a beautiful baby boy in your arms!
For diaper bags, I really like to use a big purse/bag like longchamp with packing cubes while they are little. Once you get through the every few hour feeding stage and diapers you rent (on for about two seconds before another blowout LOL), I love the Kavu canvas sling bag. It has two zippered pockets where you can store food/toys on one and diapers and extra sleeper in the second, then wear it crossbody so you can chase them!
Hi Jen–all of your concerns sounds so familiar to me! I now have a 15 1/2 year old and a 12 year old but I can remember being pregnant the first time like it was yesterday. I was terrified of becoming a mother! I had babysat when I was in high school but other than that, I had not been around babies a lot. My daughter was a little early and I had to have an emergency C-section. So needless to say, we were caught off guard and I had nothing to take with me to the hospital or anything. It all worked out great, but I distinctly remember telling my husband that I couldn’t believe they were letting me leave the hospital with her because I had no idea what to do with her! She was so tiny. 🙂 You’ll be surprised by how quickly you figure everything out. Just a couple of weeks into motherhood and I felt so comfortable with her.
As far as nursing bras, I found a couple at Target that I really liked. They were comfortable and easy to unhook. The bras get surprisingly dirty so I was glad I hadn’t dropped a lot of money into them.
You’ll be a great mother. You have so much support and when he arrives you’ll get into a groove pretty quick! Congratulations again!
Love your questions!
I did not have new baby experience and felt it was very intuitive. I also found with anything and everything (even still with three kids 4, 6, and 8) I asked friends, family, strangers at times, any questions or concerns or issues I was having! Other people are resources and are so helpful and so supportive.
My husband most definitely did not have a diaper bag! I got all kinds of fancy and diaper bag specific bags for my first and by my third I used any tote and just knew how to fill it!
I really liked nursing bras, especially for sleeping and nighttime feedings. The Target Gillian O’malley ones were great! I might’ve had one nursing sports bra and eventually just wore my regular ones and pulled it up to feed.
Good luck! I have no doubt you will be an amazing mommy. You literally have all the help and support at your fingertips!
No advice to offer (I’m child-free and have little to no experience with babies) but your dream made me laugh so hard! My mom said that when she was pregnant with me, she had a dream that she gave birth to a kitten. I grew up to be a cat-lover so maybe your little boy will be, too!
Enjoy your blog… first time commenting:)
In a nutshell, I had little to no experience and didn’t really picture myself as a “mom” before becoming one.
I love music and many times a song or lyric can sum up how I’m feeling better than my own words. Shortly after our first child was born, I heard a Babyface song called: The Day You Gave Me A Son. There is a lyric within that song, that for me, captures how I felt days after giving birth. The lyrics are:
It’s like a song, I’ve never heard
I’ve never sung, but know the words
It’s amazing how you will just “know”… you won’t be perfect, however you are the perfect mom for Baby G.
I didn’t know a thing about kids when Fin was born! He’s four now, and sometimes I swear I know less now than I did before I had him. When I brought him home, I cried for days because I thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t feel that life-changing, unconditional love and devotion that so many moms say they feel as soon as the baby is placed on their chest. Pretty sure when the doctor handed him to me for the first time, my thought process was somewhere along the lines of, “What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?” Being a mom didn’t come natural for me. It was like having a tiny stranger in my home! It took months. And I wish someone would have told me that before I had him so I wouldn’t have felt like such a terrible mom. Today, I can’t even look at him without feeling like my heart is going to explode. It’s the greatest, scariest feeling.
As for a diaper bag, I had a backpack diaper bag and it was AMAZING! So much more convenient than one of those huge bags that you have to lug around on your shoulder.
PS – You look amazing!
Hey Jen! Jen (Hampton) Castorri here…I wanted to share what I know works for me. A backpack for a diaper bag. A regular old backpack. I use a Swiss Army for longer trips or my Kavu rope bag depending on the length of a trip. Invest in Lily Padz, or some sort of silicone breast pad. Even if you don’t plan on nursing, they’ll be useful at first. Thank me later ? As far as having no clue what you’re doing, don’t worry….no one does. Even those of us with lots of kids! Can’t wait to see that little boy of yours. Congrats Mama! Welcome to the club.
Was scared to death to hold my baby because I was never around children growing up. In labor my doctor told me… “as long as you don’t hold him by the ankle and shake him upside down, he will be ok.” Totally put me at ease that these babies are more durable than we need to worry about! It’s a natural thing, you just get it when you have to.
I’ve always been so impressed with moms who do so much research and reading! I took a birthing and infant class and read Baby Center, but all the other books and resources and even baby registry overwhelmed me until he was here! All that to say, I had very little experience as well and was surprised at how naturally caring for him came and I also felt less overwhelmed and eager for information once he was out of my tummy and in my arms. When you meet that little man, so many instincts will kick in. So excited for you, friend!
I love the bravado seamless silk nursing bras, and I’d recommend getting at least 4-5 of them. For nursing tanks I just used regular tanks and pulled them down – I always liked the pull down method better than pulling up because there is just too much material between yours and baby’s faces. I do have a large chest though, so I felt like I needed the support of a bra versus a tank. I also recommend getting some nursing bras to sleep in and bamboobies to help with leaks!
It sounds like you have a great balance of preparing for a natural birth and tempering your expectations for something out of our ultimate control. That’s awesome! And definitely don’t let it keep you from mentally preparing for an unmedicated birth… even things like an induction or pitocin don’t mean you need to lose hope to ultimately have a more natural birth. I’ve had three very different births… #1 was a hospital unmedicated birth. I ended up on pitocin because my water had broken naturally and my contractions hadn’t picked up, and ultimately I had my son without any pain meds and very short pushing time and no tears! My #2 was another hospital unmedicated birth… my water never broke and that labor was SO FAST and actually much more painful than the slow, gradual build of contractions I felt from the pitocin labor! Still no tearing which made recovery amazing. And #3 was an emergency c-section because that little stinker decided to stay breech with her foot down in my birth canal when I went into labor. And you know what, the birth was still beautiful. My recovery wasn’t my favorite, but ultimately I’m thankful for it because it got me to physical therapy where I learned so much about true postpartum body repair. (I definitely recommend therapy no matter what your birth… I wished I had done it even with my easy natural deliveries!). All that to say, you’ll do great no matter what birth throws at you.
Fawn diaper bags all the way!!! And you can find them on eBay, too 🙂
Also, I didn’t love many baby books, but Moms on Call was THE BEST resource for a quick, easy check on approximate baby schedules for each week/phase. It’s a super concise book and an easy read. Highly recommend!
Have a wonderful third trimester!
Love reading your updates Jen! It’s great to stay open minded about birth. I was induced at 41 weeks, Abby’s heart rate started plummeting from the pitocin and not being able to handle it, and after 18 hours of no progression, not responding to ANY of the 3 epidurals or 2 spinal taps for anesthesia, I was put fully under anesthesia for a c-section! Not the way I had thought things would go, but just shows you aren’t the one in control.
Secondly – backpack diaper bags are the way to go!! So much easier when also carrying a boatload of other things, baby carrier included. We only use one diaper bag – otherwise you have to keep up with stocking both and that’s no fun.
Target has some great soft nursing bras for sleeping, but it is nice to have one with cups/pads for when you might put on a more regular outfit. I found it impossible to “lift up” a regular t-shirt and nurse – I preferred to have clothes let me just unclip something from the top end 🙂
Enjoy these last months!!
I had literally no experience with babies before I had my son (and I was SOOOO anxious the entire pregnancy about caring for a baby). I remember freaking out because I didn’t know how to change a diaper or even hold a newborn. But within days I was an expert diaper changer and I could pick a newborn up with ease. Long story short, I found it to come very naturally (and I am NOT naturally what I would describe as a “maternal” person). As someone said to me, “it’s not rocket science”. You got this!
I dreamed I gave birth to a dog when I was pregnant! Too funny. I had almost no baby experience before becoming a mom, and I’m not really a big baby or kid person – I’m an animal person. I was so worried that I wouldn’t know what to do, or that I would feel awkward around my baby. Honestly, I did feel sort of awkward with her at first – like I was going to hurt or break her – but I got over that pretty quickly. I still have no idea what I’m doing, but she’s still alive at 10 months, and I adore her more every single day.
Jen, long time reader…first time to comment because I have to tell you to buy the book Baby 411. I felt so ready to give birth thanks to lots of reading,and then I got home with a newborn and was overwhelmed. My pediatrician told me she tells all of her friends to check the book before calling her and asking a question. The best part is that it has a great topical index that makes for a quick find when baby is crying and you are needing to find a quick answer. Lots of great info and an easy read you could skim before or after baby. Best of luck your way, you are going to be a fantastic mom!
Night sweats… wait until after the birth! I was sweating like a pig at night and I don’t normally have night sweats!
On the nursing tanks … get the ones from H&M! From all accounts we are about the same size and those fit me great! I tried the ones from Target and they seemed good at first but as my post-partum belly shrunk the tanks became baggy. You can order the H&M ones online in a two pack. Super cute colors. I would wear the tanks under T-shirt or long sleeve shirt depending on season. It was enough support that I did not wear a bra. They have a shelf bra built in.