I’m a day late on my weekly pregnancy post because I had my 36 week appointment yesterday afternoon and wanted to write this after so I’d have more to update you on!
I’ll start with a recap of that appointment and then jump into the normal update.
This is a profile shot of his face and you can see his little lips sticking out! 🙂
At my 36 week appointment I had an ultrasound as well as an office visit. The ultrasound actually ended up being at Maternal Fetal Medicine because the tech at my office went on maternity leave unexpectedly early. It ended up being a blessing that my appointment was at MFM because I got some great reassurance.
First, everything looked good and he’s measuring perfectly on track. Fluid levels were great (which is a big thing they check for on this ultrasound) and they estimated that he weighs about six pounds and some change. It is still so hard for me to believe that I have a six pound baby inside of me. It’s incredible!
Part of the standard protocol at MFM is that a doctor comes in and does a quick scan after the tech takes all of their measurements. The doctor asked why I was ordered for a 36 week ultrasound and I mentioned the Echogenic Focus of the Left Ventricle that has been on all of our ultrasounds since 18 weeks. He immediately said, “they should have never told you about that! It’s unnecessary to worry moms about that.” He said that about a year ago new guidelines came out that recommend NOT telling moms about these foci and that they’re actually very common. He said as long as all of my other Down’s Syndrome testing came back low-risk, it’s absolutely nothing to worry about (the previous thought was that the EF could be a soft marker for Down’s).
Although I was trying really hard not to worry about the EF on his heart and my doctor has been very low-key and unworried about it, it was always in the back of my mind as a what if so it was the best news I could have possibly heard yesterday. So any other moms that have dealt with this, I hope this news helps!
It was also super interesting to find out where he was positioned after guessing what body parts have been kicking and punching me for so long. He is head down and has most of his body nestled on my right side. His booty is all up under my ribs on the right side. As of right now he’s sunny side up (posterior) but I hope he rolls over before he decides to make his way out! I’ll definitely be doing lots of positioning exercises these last few weeks to encourage him to move in the right direction.
After my ultrasound, I met with my doctor. He did the group B strep swab and a quick cervical check. I’m 80% effaced but no dilation. He said he’s happy with that and will check me again in two weeks.
I shared with him that I’m still having pretty regular Braxton-Hicks contractions as well as some cramping and he said those are good things at this stage of pregnancy and mean that my body is preparing. He told me I’m 100% cleared to do whatever I want to and whatever feels good with no restrictions. He’s good with baby coming anytime he’s ready and knows I want things to progress as naturally as possible.
I’m personally hoping he stays cozy in there for a few more weeks because this mama needs this last little bit of time to get her ducks in a row! 🙂
36 WEEKS PREGNANCY UPDATE
There’s not a lot to update on baby’s development. He’s gaining about an ounce a day and just getting chubby and cute for his arrival. Lungs are doing their final preparations to be strong and healthy for life outside the womb and his liver, kidneys, circulatory system and immune system are good to go.
Side note: he is moving like CRAZY in there! It’s wild and I can definitely tell he’s so much bigger now. It’s hard to believe that his whole body used to fit on the ultrasound screen now we can only see a head or a foot at one time!
HOW I’M FEELING AT 36 WEEKS PREGNANT
Weight gain/body changes: I’ve gained right around 25-26 pounds. I have a faint linea nigra. Belly button is definitely more of an outie these days. Still no stretch marks (keeping fingers crossed) or swelling of hands or feet. My blood pressure was super normal at my appointment yesterday.
Symptoms:
- My breasts started leaking last week!!! It’s not enough that I need to use any sort of pads at this point but it was definitely a surprise! It’s a clearish liquid that I’m guessing is the start of colostrum.
- My breasts are also starting to get a little more tender again.
- Mild cramping that feels like light period cramping. Mostly in the middle of the night when I get up to go to the bathroom and early in the morning.
- On and off low back, sacrum and pelvic pain, especially at the end of the day.
- My skin has cleared up!
- Itchy belly if I don’t keep it lotioned up. I’m using lavender oil and Burt’s Bees Belly Butter.
- So much peeing. Especially at night. I get up to go at least 3-5 times a night now and sometimes it’s just the tiniest amount I have to pee even though I feel like I really have to go. I think his head has engaged more and is putting more pressure on my bladder.
Workouts: I spent quite a lot of time covering off on this last week and I’m sticking with my plan for these last four weeks. I’m doing tons of walking and aiming for about three miles a day along with yoga as much as possible. Walking just makes my body feel so good…it alleviates discomfort in my back and pelvis…and it’s also so good for getting baby in position. My doula told me to keep the walking and the yoga up and that being active will help so much in these last few weeks.
I’m teaching one strength class a week, which still feels super comfortable and manageable.
Food aversions/cravings: I’m doing pretty good on this front and eating fairly regularly. There’s definitely that overall leaning towards more carbs but most foods are appealing to me right now. I’m still a no go on red meat and seafood, especially shellfish. I’m a definite go on CAKE.
Fun shares:
- I’ve LOVED the Instagram conversations I’ve had with you guys this week over post-partum underwear needs. My mom and I went to Target on Monday and she bought me these lovely briefs. I posted an Instagram Story about it and the responses from ranged from: “Yes, you need these” to “I wore regular bikini cut underwear/hipsters” to “steal the hospital mesh underwear” to “forget it all and just go buy some Depends.”
- We have one more baby shower on Sunday with tons of friends, staff and students from the studio. I’m excited about it and ready to get everything settled in the nursery afterwards! 🙂
- I had to buy a pair of maternity shorts because things are getting desperate when it comes to pants. It felt like a waste to buy something new for these last few weeks but oh well! I think I can wear them PP for a while too. Love those stretchy side panels!
To dos:
- Ahhh…still have to pack that hospital bag!
- Order my breast pump through Aeroflow. I’ve got all my options!
- Get my name changed on my medical insurance and medical records with the hospital system.
- Secure permanent subs for my maternity leave. Not sure how long I’m going to take and when I’ll come back to teaching so I want one person taking over each class versus looking for someone weekly.
- Wrap up a couple more photo shoot projects.
- Start wrapping up blog projects that need to be done before baby.
- Get everything tasked and scheduled out for my marketing coordinator at the studio to execute while I’m on maternity leave.
- Put the final touches on finishes for the den that I just refreshed. Almost there!
- Keep writing those thank you notes! I’m making progress but want to have them done before he comes!
QUESTIONS
Talk to me for real about the first few days/weeks postpartum. What do you wish someone would have told you about? What brought you the most comfort/least comfort? How did you feel?
Talk to me about help after the hospital. Did you have anyone come stay with you and help? My mom and I are trying to decide when she’s going to come back and Tanner’s mom has offered to help as well. I think I might want a few days/a week on our own but I’m not sure…is that a bad idea? Am I crazy?
When I had my first baby my husbands mother came the day before she was born and stayed for two weeks to help. I really wish I wouldn’t have done that. Now I really feel like those first few days/weeks postpartum are so vital in bonding as a new family. I definitely think a few days with just you guys is so important. I’m 30 weeks with my second now and have implemented a strict no visitors for 2 weeks rule.
Thank you for sharing this perspective Victoria. It’s a great one to consider.
I also wanted to do everything myself as much as possible the first time around… and then ended up having a really tough delivery with an unscheduled c section at the end. So I basically needed some one to take care of me so my husband could deal with the baby! I always advise ppl to have help lined up because if you don’t need it you can send them home but if you do you don’t want to have to have your mom figuring out planes etc at the last minute. With a c section you can’t even get out of bed on your own for a while and if you have an extended labor first you are awake for multiple days before you even have the surgery.
This happened with my sons birth, too, and we ended up needing all the help we could get. My mom changed her flight to come out early and stayed with us for 3 weeks. There’s also an energetic shift that can take place if your birth plan takes a hard right turn — I was glad to have support on a physical and mental level. I wouldn’t shy away from letting people know how they can assist you when they visit, we had some struggles with family helping in unhelpful ways (like unsolicited advice, wanting the baby non-stop when we were bonding, etc).
I second the above comments, as I had c-sections (planned) with both my kids. My mom was an angel and came over everyday for a week once my husband went back to work (he stayed home about a week with each kid), her help was invaluable. My MIL also came over everyday for about a week. To be honest, I was resistant to having her come over. In hindsight, I can see that it was a gift.
Don’t be afraid to ask someone to throw laundry in, empty the dishwasher, prep dinner, etc. Your focus should be on baby boy and your own healing, let others help in practical ways.
I’m thinking that timing of my mom coming once Tanner is back on a more normal work schedule would be so helpful! I know that both my mom and Tanner’s will both be great and not “in the way” or a distraction.
And yes, I need to get really comfortable with that asking for help stuff! 🙂
Hey Kate – I have heard so much about how the way your birth goes can impact your postpartum healing and experience and I don’t think there’s nearly enough talk about recovering from birth trauma from a mental standpoint. Thank you for taking a moment to bring this up as I think it’s an important topic.
This is such a GREAT point. Thank you so much Irene!
You’re getting so close! So exciting!! We had my mom “on call” to come stay with us after the baby was born, but we ended up not needing her and LOVED the time as a family to just figure things out on our own. She visited a ton, and was such a big help, but didn’t do any overnights for a while (until my husband’s first business trip). Otherwise, when you get home, try to tune into what you need and try not to let any guilt or feeling like you “should” feel a a certain way / do a certain thing / want a certain thing sneak in. An example for me was that we instituted a “policy” of visitors every other day. The days where we didn’t have anyone come by were so key for me to able to rest more and not be “on.” It doesn’t seem like sitting on the couch with a close friend could be tiring, but at that point, it was. That may not be necessary for you, but don’t feel bad at all for being clear about what you need. <3
This is such a good piece of advice about visitors – wanted to second it! It’s okay to decline or say things like “I’d love to see you, but I’ve got about 15 minutes of energy in me” – my favorite visits were the ones where a friend dropped off coffee, chatted for a few minutes and then left, haha.
This is WONDERFUL advice!
We had to institue a 1 visitor per day policy. It really helped, I felt like I was able to socialize without being too exhausted, and keep baby on something of a sleep routine.
LOVE the one visitor per day idea.
I’m thinking I might want that initial time just to “figure it out” on our own and then have our families come and stay/visit a little later.
I like your visitors every other day policy. I’ve also appreciated all the reminders about boundaries and being totally okay with setting them!
Did you see the MFM doctor at Novant? If so, I LOVE him!! He does so much to reassure you. I’ve had two ultrasounds there (since I plan to deliver at Baby & Co.), and he’s always been so wonderful. Matt is a fan, as well! Hope you’re feeling good!!!
I see them every month (going tomorrow morning) and have had a great experience so far with them!
Yes, it took me a second to get used to his bedside manor and then I was like, “THANK GOD FOR YOU!”
I hope you are feeling great too! 🙂
Quick tip: Sterilize and get familiar with your pump now! I didnt and found myself in an engorged, emergency situation and went to open my pump for the first time and realized I had to sterilize everything! You are so smitten when you get home from the hospital, you wont think to do it, until you need it! So do it now!
Couldn’t agree more!
This is a really, really good tip! I was so confused about my pump when I first got it and I ended up needing to use it right away as my son was in the NICU briefly, and I wanted to pump for him. I’m really glad I had familiarized myself with it and gotten it ready to go beforehand!
PS: Jen I’m sure you know this but don’t actually USE the pump beforehand or you could induce labor.
Ha! Yes, I have heard that nipple stimulation can induce labor!
This is a WONDERFUL tip! Thanks!
My mom was with me for a month after my son was born. We actually camped out in the living room with him in the pack and play. That way she could bring him to me when he needed to eat in the middle of the night. It was a rough labor so getting up and about was difficult for a few weeks. There were also issues where we had to take turns holding him at night instead of him sleeping in the pack and play but that’s a long story. I think usually husbands help with the getting up and bringing the baby to you in the middle of the night, but mine gets super cranky on little sleep so it wasn’t worth bothering him 😉 it was super super helpful having someone there to help us. But that was just my experience
Thank you for sharing so openly TJ. It’s wonderful that your mom was able to provide you that support that you so needed in the early days!
If you end up with an epidural there is a good chance your face will itch. It won’t happen for hours but don’t freak. Ask if you get bad sweats and stuff it could be an infection. Keep an eye out after you get home.
This is great information Courtney!
You’re so close! Almost 30w here with baby boy #4.
I think it’s definitely a personal decision on what to do after birth but personally we asked for no stay over visitors for the first week. We wanted to bond and adjust as a family first before introducing others, even family. My mom lives up the street and watched the older siblings while we were at the hospital so obviously she came by here and there but never for long. My inlaws are in TX (were in DC) and flew out usually when baby was 2 weeks old. It was extra nice because nursing and recovery are messy and confusing and exhausting as it is. Worrying about bras and covers and clothes in general those first few weeks is not fun. We had friends stop by with meals after baby 2 and 3 which was such a huge life saver!! But again, they never stayed long. So appreciated.
As for recovery..everyone and every recovery is different. My first was 19.5 hours of labor and out in 3 pushes. I had a minor tear and recovery was pretty easy. I also didn’t have other kids to tend to so I had the most time to relax and rest. Hes the only one I leaked after though ?♀️ second babe was 22 hours of labor, out in 2 pushes. I didn’t tear at all. He was in NICU the first 24 hours so I walked a lot going to and from my room to him to nurse. That recovery was amazing. I barely felt like I’d given birth. Baby 3 was 9 hours of labor, out in a single push. Minor tear and the most painful recovery. I remember waking up bawling in pain one night it hurt so badly. But he was LOW for the majority of my pregnancy which I dont think did me any favors. I was also busy taking care of 3 kids so not a whole lot of time to rest and recover.
AHHH! Congrats to you on baby #4. A friend of mine recently had her fourth and I just visited with them yesterday. It’s so amazing to me to see her in action! She’s an inspiration!
Thank you also for sharing how every birth is different, even with the same mom! That’s such a great note to remember that my experience might be totally unlike others I’ve heard about when it comes to both labor, delivery and postpartum.
Getting so close! I wished I had relaxed more after the birth of my son. I was super anxious about “doing everything right”. On top of being a hormonal mess and not getting any sleep, it was a recipe for disaster. Get all the help you need. It took me about six weeks to settle into motherhood and feel like myself again. Be kind to yourself and remember he won’t stay a baby forever. Try and enjoy every phase, the good and the bad. You are going to be a wonderful mom.
Hey Marisa – thanks for this comment. As someone who likes to be busy and doing, I’m really trying to get myself in the mindset of LAYING LOW after baby comes and spending tons of time in bed with him, skin to skin, nursing and relaxing. I’m really going to try my best to relax into this very temporary and short phase of life and soak it up for whatever it is…beautiful, messy, hormonal, whatever!
I wish I had known that breastfeeding doesn’t always come as naturally as it is “supposed” to. I felt like something was wrong with me when my son didn’t latch on properly. We struggled for a couple months before we got really good at it. I went to see a couple of different lactation consultants for help. It was so worth it!
This is SUCH a great reminder and a very common sentiment from first time moms.
Hi, Jen! I am so excited for you! I had my son last January, and I had my mom and sister stay at our house with our dogs while we were in the hospital which was amazing. They got to come meet the new baby, but they also did things for us while they were at our house, like make some meals and clean up a little. And then they left when we came home. My mom came back 2 weeks later for the week, and I would highly recommend that. It was nice to have some time with just my husband and I as we got to bond with our son and figure it out, but by week 2 I was ready for some extra help so I could nap, shower, etc. And my husband went back to work then, so it helped me not feel as lonely during the day! Plus, that’s when the food deliveries from friends stopped, so it was nice to have my mom to help cook dinner :). In terms of the hospital stay, I’d recommend packing a bunch of snacks for you to have on hand. The cafeteria wasn’t open 24/7, and we were up all night either because the baby was crying or because a doctor/nurse was coming to check on us. So it was nice to have food to munch on while you’re up nursing. And don’t stress about packing a ton of baby clothes or clothes for yourself. We didn’t dress our son in real clothes until we were leaving the hospital, and I stayed in pajamas the entire time. Lastly, I would pack some Tucks medicated wipes. They were a lifesaver. Good luck!
Hey Susie – this is a helpful suggestion. I’m thinking that having her come a couple weeks after makes the most sense to me. I can definitely see the newness wearing off and the tiredness setting in along with Tanner going back to work being a big challenge and needing support.
And yes, my doula mentioned packing a cooler and snacks for the hospital so I need to start pulling that together!
I’m so glad you got reassuring news at your ultrasound!
As for the first days post partum, this is my perspective from an uncomplicated, vaginal delivery: I really wasn’t prepared for how SORE I was down there. It hurt to walk. It hurt to sit down. I ended up having my husband run out and get me some Dermaplast just so I could wipe myself without being in tears. (I did tear, but only a little). My doctor gave me Vicodin in the hospital but nothing to go home with and when it wore off I was surprised at how sore I was and how long it lasted.
As for family/visitors, everyone is different but we did not have anyone come to meet the baby for about a week after we got back from the hospital. I’m really private and I was leaking fluid from…everywhere…and I didn’t want anyone around besides my husband; it would have stressed me out. (It was also flu season and I didn’t want a bunch of germs brought into the house.) It ended up working well for us, and we had (kind of) a rhythm going by the time people came over.
Hey Laurel – thank you for sharing about your soreness. I feel like I have no frame of reference on this so it’s super helpful to hear honest feedback on how women felt afterwards.
In my experience, I found walking a little each day was really helpful….my friend up the street would meet me and we’d take a loop. They are some of my favorite memories of the early days. As for visitors and help from parents, that is really such an individual preference. so you may want to wait to decide after the baby arrives. My one suggestion is to try to have your housecleaner come while you are in the hospital (mine squeezed us in at the last minute, and I was so grateful!)
Hey Mary – thank you so much for sharing this. It’s a super helpful suggestion. <3
I do think I’m going to wait until after baby comes to make a decision on the help.
And GREAT advice to have my cleaner helper come while in the hospital. I’ll FOR SURE do that! 🙂
I’d say only have the most helpful person come stay with you. For our first my SIL came and it was great – she helped, she anticipated what we might need, she got groceries, she cooked. We found that the grandparents were not super helpful. They had forgotten a lot of things, didn’t realize how much time you are breastfeeding (and we always wanted to hold the baby even when he should be nursing), and in general weren’t quite up to the task of really helping. I’d definitely institute the no visitors for 2-3 weeks if we had a third. Our second was in the NICU, so it was a whole different experience.
I second this, we had some grandparents come and stay with us and really did nothing except stress me out and make my house even more of a mess. I would say take a step back and look and see if you think they will actually be helpful before you invite them.
Thank you for sharing your experience Jen!
This is great insight Meredith. Thank you!
I had a few stitches after my first so I was only comfortable sitting in a donut for the first little while. If things don’t feel “normal” down there” talk to your Dr., see a pelvic health specialist. I wish I had, I figured it was normal after child birth.
My mum stayed with us for a week after, I think she came after we had been home for a day or two. She was great, she did laundry, helped cook, Walked the dogs. I think it drove my husband a bit nuts, but not worrying about laundry or food was a relief. Having friends stop by for 20min for a cup of tea after baby is a few weeks old is nice too.
I didn’t recognize it at the time but I was very blue, it was winter, I was exhausted and I really needed to get out of the house. If you have someone that would meet you for a walk or coffee I think that’s the best thing,(for me). Being with baby is great, but it’s also super nice to talk to another grown up.
You are so close, enjoy these last few weeks for what they are.
I am definitely planning on seeing a pelvic floor specialist after birth to check on the “health” of everything down below.
I appreciate your notes on realizing when you need a friend or adult conversation or just getting a change of scenery. It’s going to be an important thing for me to remember. <3
I had severe postpartum with my second. I was really embarrassed and waited in telling my doctor. Once I did, I felt a huge relief. It was like, I love her but I didn’t want to be around her. That’s when my doctor suggested that I have friends over to be with her while I showered or just made something for myself where I didn’t have to worry or fret 100% of the time. When I allowed myself to have free time to just do something for myself, it got better. Being honest was huge. I just wish more people would have told me about it. After I told others, my friends were like, yeah, totally can relate! and I was like WFH?? Why didn’t you tell me? It’s very common to feel “down” or whatever because you’re body went from carrying a human to not and it needs time to adjust.
We didn’t have anyone stay with us after the birth of either child. It was hectic and the hours are all over the place and I didn’t want that feeling of having to entertain or be quiet at night, etc. We had visitors all the time but the evenings were just us and I was okay with that. But I also had my husband and I’m not 100% sure of your situation so it could be different. I think the time I loved having someone most was the early morning hours. When you’re up multiple times a night, I would CRASH hard from like 5-8AM. Zonked out. I appreciated having my MIL there to be with the girls then.
Somer – I can’t thank you enough for vulnerably and honestly sharing your experience with PPD. I think it’s so important to bring it into the light and take the shame away from it. I love your doctor’s suggestions and how wonderful that you were able to get that support from them. I can only imagine the hormonal shift that takes place after birth as well as the overall emotional shift of adjusting from carrying baby to actually caring for baby. That seems incredibly huge to me.
Three things I wish I had known (I have 3 littles and these three things happened all 3 times): (1) the day 3-4 hormone crash, otherwise known as the “baby blues,” is a very real thing. I had never before experienced such wildly unpredictable emotions–particularly the weepiness. I wish I had been prepared the first time! With my second two I knew it was coming, which helped a lot. (2) The. Bleeding. Never. Ends. Bleeding for 6+ weeks is normal! (3) Cramping while breastfeeding for the first couple of weeks feels like legit labor contractions. It eventually subsides, but again, something I was NOT prepared for! Best wishes!!!
I’m so glad you guys have prepared me for the post-birth hormone crash. It’s been immensely helpful to read your experiences.
I’ve heard those cramps are SO intense and some say worse than some labor cramps. Yikes. I’ll be prepared for that!
Absolutely agree with all 3 points made!! The day we got home from the hospital with my first, I could NOT stop crying and couldn’t explain why. I knew about PPD, but no one ever told me about those baby blues! Went away after a couple of days, and boy was I glad to expect it with my second. I ended up not really having the blues with my second, perhaps because I knew they could happen ..or because every pregnancy, birth and child are different! Yes, to the bleeding (it’s a horror show) Lol.
And oh man, the cramping! Those after birth cramps when the uterus is contracting back to size are craaaaazy. And the breast feeding cramps are wild too.
We didn’t have anyone stay with us with our first, but I did enjoy visitors. I had my mom on call so I could call her to come over if I needed anything. That was baby #1. With baby #2 it’s a whole ‘notha ball game!! (Depending on age of first kid). Mine was 2 & very active, so my mom came and stayed with us for the first week and basically just took care of my first while my husband and I focused on the baby. THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTE GOD-SEND.
I think it depends on your relationship with the person coming to stay. I’m not shy in front of my mom, so having my boobs out all the time/looking like a hot mess/dealing with bleeding and pads with her staying with us (she stayed for 3 weeks after I had my son) was no big deal to me. She also is one of those people who doesn’t need direction… she would start laundry on her own, make dinner without being asked, clean things up, etc. She is super helpful and likes to be busy, so she was a HUGE help, whereas if my MIL would’ve been the one staying she would’ve been just trying to hold the baby the whole time and wouldn’t have been a ton of help 🙂 I think if you aren’t feeling strongly about your mom being there for labor, then maybe have her come a few days after you deliver? That way you can have a few days at home just the three of you, but you’ll also be able to look forward to the help a few days after you get home and settled.
I TOTALLY agree with this comment. If the person coming to stay is a stress reliever and not a stress inducer, by all means I’m all about it! I LOVED having my mom with us after Chase was born and she sounds a lot like Julie’s mom — she was always on top of thinking about things that might be helpful to us (dinner, laundry, etc.) and that made a world of difference. I also loved having here there because Ryan was back to work on Monday (I had Chase on a Wednesday) and everything was so, so NEW to me. Knowing she’d been through it all before was very helpful and I am not at all shy about my boobs being out and leaky in front of her (and that happened A LOT as I was navigating nursing)!
Julie – this makes complete sense! I’m thinking I will definitely want my mom or Tanner’s mom here helping for a short time after he goes back to work on a more regular schedule. I know that they would both be the “helper” type of moms who would totally be on top of things like laundry, cooking, etc. And I’ve already warned my mom that there will be a lot of boob happening! 🙂
I agree with this too! My MIL came for a week after all 3 of our babies were born, and it was great!! But she and I are super close, and I’m totally relaxed and comfortable around her. I’ll say there was a little less for her to do after baby #1 (her biggest role the next 2 times was taking care of our older children), but she cooked and tidied and kept me company after my hubby went back to work. It was a great experience!
Thank you Julie and Jen for your insights! 🙂
And I can imagine there is much more to navigate when you bring a baby home with littles! I can’t even imagine!
I know my mom would be a lot like yours. I think she’d be much more on top of all the household stuff that needed to happen rather than trying to micromanage me and baby.
I don’t think she can logistically be here for labor since she’s 10 hours away and labor is so unpredictable. I’m thinking that few days/week after is a good plan!
I just had my baby boy in February. I wish I would have had someone stay with me for at least a week after the baby was here. We got home on a Sunday and my hubby had to work that following day. My sis came that Monday to help me and I was an emotional mess. I was so sleepy since I didn’t sleep well in the hospital at all, maybe 1.5-2 hrs a night. It wasn’t so much that I needed help with the baby, it was just nice to have someone to talk to and have as a companion (but I am a very people oriented person anyways). So I’d recommend someone you like and feel 100% comfortable with, like your mom, staying with you after you get home with the babe for sure. It will be good for your mental state because your hormones will be all over the place and you’ll be sleepy trying to get used to your new normal. Being alone was very isolating that first week. The babe will do nothing but eat, sleep, and make dirty diaps. Postpartum- I felt great. I only took Motrin, had a 2nd degree tear- PERI BOTTLE is your best friend, take it from the hospital (take everything you can actually). I didn’t wear the mesh undies when I got home (but loved them in the hospital) but I LOVED Depends. Especially when you go in public for his 1st Ped appt. because your bladder may be a little wonky and if you have to pee, it’s nice to have a Depends on just in case, ha. Don’t go into labor with any pre-conceived notions about anything. I am a small girl and would get a lot of “well you may have to have a C section comments” from people that didn’t think my body was capable of birthing the babe vaginally… well I had him out in 4 contractions. I would do anything you can to get him as low as possible. being 80% effaced is great. I was at 38 weeks and went into labor after a membrane sweep at 40+1. If they offer the membrane sweep do it- it doesn’t hurt, just like an aggressive cervical check.
Congrats to you Jess and I hope you guys have found yourself in a good rhythm.
I can’t imagine having your husband go back to work so quickly and I’m glad your sister was able to come and offer some support. I can understand how much a companion would help in those early days, especially when you’re trying to figure everything out.
I am totally keeping my mind open about the labor and delivery process and not trying to attach to anyone else’s opinion or prediction for my birth. <3
I’m hoping all this walking I’m doing is helping him get low, low, low and then I’ll make sure to get lots of that yoga squatting in in these final days! I’ve heard great things about the membrane sweep!
One thing that was so nice to have was frozen meals that were on the healthy side once we got home. People bring food and treats, but most of it is not healthy. When you are taking care of a newborn, pumping and breastfeeding, and getting very little sleep you need a lot of calories. But I felt so much better when those calories were from nutrient dense and healthy food. Don’t get me wrong, I ate treats too. But it helped to have healthy fats and protein in my diet.
My mom and MIL came over during the day to help but we established some ground rules. 1) I was not entertaining anyone 2) The house might be messy, no comments allowed 3) I will nurse her where I am comfortable. So if we have to go to the bedroom for a while then that’s how it works.
Hey Megan – this makes TOTAL sense to me! I’ve heard that breastfeeding hunger is insane and I could see where eating healthier/nutritious things would make you feel so much better and more like yourself.
Love your ground rules! 🙂
I 100% agree with freezer meals, including breakfast options! You will probably be the hungriest you’ve ever been when you are breastfeeding 🙂 Also, I wished I had put a freezer meal in the fridge to defrost so it was ready when we got home from the hospital. After eating hospital food for a few days, a home cooked meal would have been amazing to come home to. I also made sure to have a lot of easy snacks on hand like energy/protein bars, etc…and also always have a water bottle nearby!
I am so happy you and baby are doing so well. You look great!
I recently found out I am pregnant (!), so I am in the cautiously optimistic stage right now. I would love it if you wrote a post about all your go-to pregnancy products, (books, leggings, skincare, etc.)
I wish you the best in your final weeks of pregnancy!
Hey Kimberly! CONGRATS on your pregnancy and I understand completely that early anticipatory excitement that is also cautious. I will be sending you lots of baby love!
I will write that post soon!
Those first few days/weeks can be so hard. I remember sobbing the first night home, struggling with breastfeeding, being totally overwhelmed. It is NORMAL to feel out of your element – just remind yourself it’s all new, and it’s new to your baby, too! You’re both learning as you go and you WILL find a rhythm together. Also, accept help from anyone who offers, and ask people if nobody is offering, haha. Be really kind to your body – rest, eat good food and SLEEP literally whenever you can – you’re healing from a very physical and emotional experience and those elements will nourish you and your energy slowly but surely. Finally, everyone says “it goes so fast,” which is such a cliché, but also very true. Enjoy bonding with your son and getting to know him, and let go of anything you feel like you *should* do on maternity leave (like work, exercise, being out and about more/less, breastfeeding or not, etc.) You will do your best and that’s good enough.
I’m so grateful that you have all been so open and honest about the emotional challenges in the first few days. And I will practice asking for and accepting help where offered. I feel lucky to have a lot of it. <3
My plan in the the first few weeks is to rest and be with baby as much as humanly possible. Lots of lying around, skin-to-skin and getting to know each other. I’m definitely not in a rush to “get back to it” in any way. I do totally believe the whole goes so fast thing and I want to soak it up, even though I know it’s going to be insanely hard.
So exciting!! I really think having help when you first come home is a personal choice, but I am so glad my parents were there with us for the first few days. One feeling I didn’t expect after coming home from the hospital was a bit of, I guess you could say, nostalgic-type blues. Not PPD or anything, just similar to the way you feel at the end of a big vacation that you have been looking forward to for a long time. In the hospital, we had a bunch of visitors (aunts, cousins, friends, pastor, etc.) and there was so much excitement, so when we got home it felt quiet and almost lonely. I’m not sure exactly what your relationship is like with Tanner right now, but I think you might benefit from having another close family member there as well. Regardless, I know you will rock being a mama!
Hey Lindsay – I totally get what you’re saying about the “letdown/nostalgia” kind of blues. It makes complete sense.
I will definitely have my mom here soon after (just not sure how soon…days or a week or two) and I know BFF Dorie will be here nonstop as well. I know the support I need is available…I just need to figure out what support I do need!
I had my babies 16 years ago but the advice is the same. My husband was with me the first few days and it was good to be together to figure stuff out. Once he went back to work, I remember thinking there was no possible way I could take a shower because I felt like I could not leave the baby. A friend finally told me to just take the shower! I remember asking her what do I do if the baby cries when I’m in there? She said, take care of yourself, if the baby cries she will be ok! Or, put the baby in the bounce seat in the bathroom with you. She will be safe, she will see you and you can take the shower. It sounds so silly that I couldn’t figure this out on my own, looking back on it now. Just remember to take care of yourself too. Those first few weeks can be intense and it is ok to ask for some time to yourself whether that be for a shower, a walk around the block or a nap.
This is AMAZING advice and insight and I can’t thank you enough for taking a moment to share it.
Yay for your skin being clear. What did you use during pregnancy when it wasn’t clear? It seems like so many of my normal things are off limits during pregnancy. Appreciate any tips!
I mostly toughed it out but I wash with the Clarisonic Mia using a gentle face soap and then I do charcoal masks a couple times a week and spot treat with tea tree oil.
Such a relief to hear good news from the NFL doctor! Glad you received that comfort as pregnancy draws to a close.
What I wish I knew the first few weeks post-partum…wow. I feel like I’d been told most things about how uncomfortable I’d feel physically, how little sleep I’d get, etc. – but what I wasn’t prepared for was honestly just how unpredictable my emotions were as my hormones took a nose dive and regulated post-partum. I’d just start crying at nothing at all, not even feeling sad. Just tears. I remember telling friends it felt like my brain had been hijacked by aliens and I didn’t feel like myself at all. I did start to feel better after a few weeks (once the hormones leveled out), thankfully.
Also, night sweats. No one mentioned night sweats and I had no clue until I woke up saturated and had to start sleeping on a towel for a little while. They passed eventually.
As for having help vs. Not, we did it both ways. We came home solo with our first and had a week by ourselves before visitors and it was great. With our second my mom was with us for three weeks from the moment we came home from the hospital (and my MIL had watched our older son), and it was wonderful. Having a toddler the second time around, we welcomed the extra set of hands!
Ultimately, do what will work best and ease your life the most. If a visitor will help with other areas of your life so you can focus on baby and not need you to play hostess, that may be what you need. Then again, it may not! You get to be selfish for you and your son, especially in the earliest weeks and not feel bad about it.
Best wishes to you in these final weeks and heading into birth!
Not NFL doctor, MFM doctor! Dang autocorrect. ?
I’m so glad that you have all been SO OPEN and HONEST about the emotions after birth. It’s so helpful for me to read and mentally prepare for.
I have the worst night sweats already so good to be prepared for those being next level. No fun!
I have no idea what we’ll need in regards to help so I’m trying to keep an open mind. I can TOTALLY see where having that extra set of hands from the beginning would be invaluable with a toddler in the house too!
The best advice I’d give to any new mom is that there will be SO many emotions and whatever you feel, whenever you happen to feel it-happy, scared, frustrated, excited, angry, resentful, joyful, nervous—-you will feel them all the weeks and months after birth and it’s all normal and it’s all okay to feel that way in that moment.
As far as help after birth I think this so much depends on how the birth goes, how breastfeeding goes, how easy going the baby is and how involved the dad is after birth. There are so many factors. I would go with your gut on how you think you’ll handle things after birth and then keep an open mind. Be able to ask people for more help and also be able to ask people to give you some alone time with your baby if that’s what you need. Just remember to do what is best for you and baby now and try not to worry about what you “should” be doing or trying to please others during this time. Do what feels right to you and if you don’t know what feels right, ask friends with babies for what they did and choose from their responses what feels good for you.
Best wishes during this super emotional exciting time
Hey Beth – thank you. This is a really great sentiment to read.
And it really resonated with me that not everyone’s experience is the same and I should give myself a lot of space and grace around figuring out the “help” balance that will work best for me and baby. I am trying to go into this with as much of an open mind as possible and no set “this is what I’m going to do.”
I’m so scared/nervous but excited.
Ahhh… after birth. What a blur. I didn’t have anyone stay with us and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone. I really liked having the quiet bonding time and I didn’t like when visitors stayed too long, I loved visitors but just the ones that brought food and beer <they say dark beer is good for milk supply 🙂
I wish someone would have talked to me about how terrible I would feel. Not to scare you, but the night sweats and bleeding and mastitis were rough. It's like I was recovering from a 24-hour marathon (natural labor) and then I got the flu. Be prepared with lots of natural remedies, clean sheets and comfy clothes, easy nursing wear. I would highly recommend getting A LOT of nursing tanks, between leaking and sweating I needed several each day.
My advice would be to take the time make a routine for your little family at home before thinking about venturing out too far or having any extended visitors.
I'm excited for you!
Ha! I love the visitors bringing food and beer! 🙂
I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t feel kind of rough after labor and delivery, especially since it seems that most first time moms have really long labors. I can only imagine the demand that has on your body and then as you’re recovering, you’re learning to take care of a newborn. That sounds really freaking hard! I’m grateful that y’all are being honest about it because I feel like I haven’t really heard that much about what it’s really like.
I’m SO SORRY that you got the flu and mastitis. That is the WORST!
You’re doing great!! I recommend having a few nursing and changing stations set up. Nursing g stations have bottles of water, reading material, breast pads, burp/clean up towels, snacks, nursing pillow, etc. changing stations have changes of clothes for baby, diapers, wipes, swaddling blankets, extra shirt for you. If you have a two floor house have one of each station on each floor. Also many women have night sweats for a while post partum so have changed of bed sheets, towels and pj sets ready to go bedside plus plenty of water and snacks. Also have rock n play, lounger type areas available around the house also. You’re going to do great!
Forgot about the bathroom stations… extra pads, wipes, change of undies, squeeze bottle, hemorrhoid pads, and lidocaine spray…
We have two stories so helpful suggestion to have changing stations on both floors! We also have different baby seating/lounging/rocking options on both floors as well. Ahhh, so nervous but excited about all of this.
I had my third in January. My best tips for the hospital are to stay on top of your meds if you have a tear/episiotomy…ibuprofen, at least, and I was afraid to take pain meds at first bc of breastfeeding but I had to give in—ouch! And ice the area in the first 12-24 hrs. The swelling can make a super uncomfortable situation. And if you do take any pain meds —or maybe even if not—be sure to take Colace. Another ouch anyway but especially if you become constipated. (Sorry!) Also, I don’t think they are as bad with your first but uterine contractions with breastfeeding can be pretty painful, FYI. I had to limit my visitors in the hospital, and I also sent my baby to the nursery at night (gasp!). Girl, you WILL bond with you baby, and if you need some quality sleep after the exhaustion of L&D, I wouldn’t feel badly. Just remember to do what works for you and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about whatever that choice is! What works for you makes for a happier mama=happier baby. Annnd, if you don’t feel immediately “over the moon,” nothing is wrong. With my first, it took some time for me to get there. But I did! (And I didn’t send her to the nursery! I did send #2 and #3)
Lastly, I love my owlet. If you’re anxious at all, so worth the money.
Thank you thank you for this great information. I’ve heard the stool softeners are a must!
I think we’ll also limit hospital visitors and I think most of my close friends know I tend to be pretty private/withdrawn especially when going through something (hello having a baby!) so I think they’ll be wonderfully respectful and supportive of my wishes and not overbearing.
I’m so glad so many of you have mentioned not immediately bonding and how normal that is. It seems like a really helpful thing to be prepared for.
Hire a post partum doula or have your mom come back. You will want sleep and help.
She’s definitely coming back and Tanner’s mom is going to help as well. I feel fortunate! Just trying to figure out the timing of it all!
My husband (works for government) was away for the majority of my pregnancy, and I moved in with my parents, who are the best. I ended up delivering two weeks early, less than 24 hours after my husband came to town. He was only able to stay for a week post birth. I loooooved being at my parents because I always had help. It was the best for our unique situation. I know some people prefer time alone after, so I think it depends on your personal preference.
How wonderful to have had that support since your husband was away. That is truly special for you and your parents. <3
Real talk: Postpartum baby blues is wild! I am a super independent person and after my daughter was born I felt like I could glue myself to my husband. I was a mess I cried because I had a hair in my salad at Wendys and then I cried again because I was crying I was so ridiculous. It typically goes away within two weeks.
Real talk: Breastfeeding can be really hard, DONT beat yourself up if its a struggle. Don’t compare.
Real talk: I didn’t instantly “bond” with the baby, it took me a bit. I always loved her so much but man was that first smile good to see.
I think help is nice if you have people helping that respect your routine and wishes. I think short stays are worth the extra helps or if possible daily pop ins.
Goodluck!!
Yes!! First smile has always made things better for me. “You like me! You really like me!”
Thank you so much for this heartfelt and HONEST comment. It’s so helpful and real!
I would not have anyone stay with you. Baby sleeps for 18 hours a day in the beginning. The first two weeks were easy for me (not breastfeeding). Just sleep when baby sleeps and you will be fine. You will never get those moments back- let yourself grow and discover what it’s like on your own. If you feel depressed then call someone.
Thank you Lauren. This is kind of what I’m thinking and then have them come a little later.
This is such a personal choice but I would suggest not having anyone come to the hospital bedsides parents. I felt like I was topless the whole time between getting help with breast feeding and doing skin to skin. I had a longer hospital stay (6 nights total between the induction and needing to stay longer since I had a c section and our son needed a kidney ultrasound 3 days after birth that they wanted us to stay admitted for) and I never really wanted visitors. My parents came the first day for a very brief visit and that was perfect. You will want someone with you for that first week. So if Tanner or another friend is available that should be sufficient. But it’s always wonderful to have your mom since you have a great relations with her. My husband had 2 weeks of paternity leave so my mom came back to stay when he was back at work. That was perfect for us as it gave us time to bond with our son. And my mom was more needed when Phil was back at work.
Be prepared for a crazy emotional roller coaster. I struggled with not having control of my emotions. But it is temporary. I cried a lot of happy and sad/anxious tears in those early weeks. And if your insurance covers lactation consultant visits then definitely see one. Breast feeding is not as intuitive as one would think.
So glad the doctor was so reassuring. Too bad you didn’t see this person earlier!!!
Hey Lisa – this is great insight. I’m also planning on doing as much skin-to-skin time as possible in those days and weeks and I could see where a lot of visitors at the hospital might be overwhelming. I’m so sorry to hear about your longer hospital stay. That really sounds rough. 🙁
I’m thinking it might be a good plan for my mom to come when Tanner goes back to more of his normal work schedule but since we’re both self-employed/small business owners, we have a lot of flexibility around that…which we are lucky for.
And I am SO sure I will be on that roller coaster of emotions but good to be mentally prepared for the strong likelihood that it will happen!
Let everything else fall aside. Soak up that baby. Focus on the basics. Eating, sleeping and snuggling that babe.
This is TOTALLY my plan! I’m hoping to do the whole spend a week or two in bed or just lying around with as much skin-to-skin as possible!
Such great advice in these comments! I agree it’s such a personal choice. With my first my mom stayed with us for a week. It overlapped with the time my husband was also off, and then they all left me (that’s how it felt) after that first week and that was really rough. If I could do it again (we have 2, but having a toddler at home really changed my postpartum needs) I would have had my mom come once my husband went back to work. That’s when the true exhaustion set in. Whatever you decide, really set out the expectations. With our second my mother in law stayed with us for a while and she was amazing. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, all of that. I worried about the baby, she worried about our toddler and the house. That was great.
As far as what to expect. I had the absolute worst night sweats. I slept on a big towel after my second because with my first I was constantly changing the sheets. Have clothes ready to change into. Also, ask the nurse to send you home with whatever they will give you. I found lidocaine spray and these giant maxi pad ice pack things particularly helpful. I was too embarasssd after my first to ask to bring things home but I really regret that.
Yes, I’m totally thinking that I might want my mom to come after Tanner goes back to more of a normal work schedule. That makes so much sense to me to want someone here at that time and how it might be kind of lonely.
I’ve heard so much about these night sweats so I’ll definitely be prepared for that! And I’ve also heard to definitely take as much as you can from the hospital! 🙂
I wish I had know how much of an emotional roller coaster the first weeks would be; you are both head over heals in love/on cloud 9 and at times convinced you are doing everything wrong.
The first night home from the hospital with your first is both exciting and terrify. I can be crazy and you will cry at some point because you are tired and feel like you are doing it all wrong. I am by no means an emotional person, but that first night when the baby was crying and I couldn’t figure out what to do was tough. Getting breastfeeding down was also a huge challenge and emotional battle. I was really glad my mom was there to offer me some emotional support.
As for postpartum help..it’s an individual thing and people do a variety of things from no help at all to help for weeks. With both of my kids my mom was around for a few days. With the first it was nice to have her shoulder to cry on and with the second it was nice having her there to manage my older son. With the first I was glad she was only around for a few days after I came home from the hospital. I had a c-section and even then I didn’t feel like we really needed a ton of physical help, but. like I said, the emotional support was nice. I could not have handled my mother-in-law being around during that time, but everyone’s relationships, personalities, and level of comfort are different. I like my space and my husband and I enjoyed the quiet when my family left.
Thank you for this truly honest feedback and insight Erin. It’s so helpful. I am a pretty emotional person so it’s been great to read from you guys that emotions are high after birth and that things might be a little all over the place, even if you can’t really explain why.
And thank you for the input on help!
Thank you for this post! I’m 19 weeks with boy/girl twins and found out last week that each baby has a soft marker, my boy having the same echogenic focus as yours. I’ve been pretty worried, so it does help to read your update. Here’s to hoping we both have healthy, happy babies!
Congrats on your twins and I’m sorry that you’ve also had to deal with the soft markers. Prayers to you that it turns out to be nothing to worry about, but I totally understand that you will worry!
I was a hot mess after all 3 of my kids. By the third one, I got it right and requested no company (including moms) for a few weeks. I was so much more relaxed with baby number 3 because there was no pressure to put on a happy face and I could just sleep and get in a routine with baby.
The hospital pads – ask for tons of those! The store bought ones don’t even come close. I also asked for extras of the bed pads (kind of like the puppy pee pads) to put on my bed at home for just in case episodes.
Thank you for this insight and the tip on the hospital pads!!! 🙂
I second this! Take everything you can from the hospital. Even if the bleeding slows you need the super thick pads for comfort. First time around I thought I could switch to ultra thin maxi pads and ended up pulling my stitches which set my recovery back weeks.
Good luck to you. I had my second child last May so reading your posts has been very nostalgic for me 🙂
I have nothing to contribute to your questions but I feel like I say it every week you post: such an exciting time and he’s about to be here!!
I also read every single comment and there is so much information and things I’d never heard about/considered after a birth. YOU’VE GOT THIS, no matter any of your decisions <3
I really had no idea how much of a war zone it was going to be after delivery. Agree with above – take all of the hospital pads you can One of my nurses fashioned this pad with an ice pack for me and it was amazing.
As for help, so much is personality-dependent. I’m super close with my mom (and my parents literally live right down the street), so she was over constantly and it was life-saving. She didn’t spend the night, but she’d come over every morning so I could get some sleep between feeds. Knowing that I would get a couple solid hours where I wasn’t half-listening for the baby to wake up was life-saving and made the constant wake-ups at night so much easier to handle. But I know a lot of people get stressed out with visitors and prefer to have that family-only time. As with everything newborn and baby-related, go with your gut and do what you believe works best for you and your baby!
Oh how wonderful to have your parents close by! That is such a blessing! I’m so glad for you that she was able to help in such a meaningful way. I guess I’ll just have to feel it out and call for help ASAP if/when I need it. I’m lucky to have it available.
You are about 7 weeks ahead of me in your pregnancy, it’s so nice to read your updates and know what I have coming! Reading these all the comments is also helping me decide how many visitors I want to have.
My baby boy also had the echogetic focus. We did the blood testing and he’s a very low risk for Down Syndrome but I still wish my doctor never would have told me! We have a follow up ultrasound today. It’s nice to hear about other people’s reassuring experiences!
Biggest congrats to you Rebekah! I hope you’ve found the comments in these posts as helpful as I am. These moms are awesome!
I’m sorry to hear that you also have the EF. My US tech said she sees it tons in boys and that she has two boys of her own and they both had them and were fine. I agree that I wish we just didn’t have to worry. I hope yours is absolutely nothing to worry about. xx
The post delivery hormones are no joke. You will definitely think you’re crazy for feeling sad, or crying for no reason. I found myself sobbing in the shower at the hospital and couldn’t for the life of me tell my husband why.
Best phrase someone told me was to just ‘ride the wave’ of the first few days. You’re not crazy, it’s not permanent, and you will feel like yourself again eventually. Be that in a week, or in several months. It won’t always be as hard as it is at first (emotionally or just in terms of caring for your baby). It’s a very steep learning curve, which means it’s super hard in the beginning, but you also learn very quickly.
So I totally need to remind myself that the hormone stuff is normal as I already tend to be pretty emotional as it is. Thank you for sharing that.
And also, I love the reminder to ride the wave and just let it be crazy. That is so helpful.
I wish someone had told me about the Haakaa breast pump! It’s a passive silicone pump that you put on one side while you’re nursing on the other and it will catch your letdowns. I spent months soaking through nursing pads or soaking up leaking milk in burp cloths, and I could have been catching all that milk and saving it! The other thing I wish I had right when I got home was extra peri bottles. The hospital sent me home with one but I really needed to have one in each of our bathrooms.
In terms of help, we didn’t have anyone come stay so I can’t speak to that. You aren’t crazy to think you might want time on your own – I definitely did! I tried to leave one or two days every week without help/visitors so I could just have my own time with my baby and not have to worry about anyone else. Even if it was just my mom I always had a degree of feeling like I needed to host if someone else was around. My mom and MIL both came to help out once a week or so, so I had help one or two days during the week and then my husband was home on the weekends. It was a good balance!
Kaitlin – thank you! I hadn’t heard of this Haakaa pump either but it makes so much sense to use one!
My advice is if you feel like something is wrong….call the doctor. Both times I felt off, I didn’t ignore my maternal instincts and I called and had preeclampsia! Also, don’t be shocked if your pregnancy hormones are still raging weeks after birth. If you need to cry because you feel the urge do it. Get it all out and move forward. It always made me feel so much better. Birthing a human is emotional! : )
For family being with you, you seem to have a close relationship with your family. I take all the help I can get from the people who don’t stress me out! These are the women who know and love you two the most and know how your home runs. Then you can shower, you don’t have to walk your dogs or figure out what your next meal is. I NEVER turn away newborn help. People say it’s important to bond, but your baby has been bonding with you all since conception. He knows your voices, the sound of your heartbeat and doggy barks!
Thank you Erica. This is so helpful. I’m so glad that you called and caught the preeclampsia. That is scary!
And I’ve heard so much about the hormones being all over the place so I’ll remind myself to have a lot of grace around that…especially since I already tend to be a bit emotional to start with! 😉
Love you note about baby already knowing the sound of my heartbeat and the doggy barks. So sweet. <3
My mom came to stay after my first son was born and it was amazing to have her. I thought I wouldn’t need her (ha) but I ended up feeling so thankful. Just having someone to help you with meals, shopping, cleaning, etc. I definitely recommend it being someone you feel comfortable having around and “directing” so to speak. Anyone too sensitive could make it more difficult!
I just wanted to add that my boobs started leaking at, like, 7 months. I literally did not know that was possible and didn’t know what was going on at all! I woke up and there was fluid in my bed. I thought I had drooled or something! Ha!
Oh wow! That’s early! Yes, it’s a little alarming at first for sure!
These comments have some amazing advice. For me: 1) I expected pregnancy and labor and caring for a newborn and lack of sleep to be hard. I did not expect breastfeeding to be hard. It was! IBCLCs are a Godsend. 2) I did not bond with my first daughter immediately. I took really good care of her and she was wonderful but I kept wondering when her real mother was coming to pick her up? I know that sounds crazy (and I ended up diagnosed with PPA and PPD but not until waaaaay later). But now I love her like crazy and we have a super strong bond. YOU ARE EXACTLY THE RIGHT MAMA FOR YOUR BABY. 3) Everything is a phase. This is not your new life. Bleeding will end. Crying will end. Leaking will end. Thrush or diaper rash or colic or vomiting will end. But so will the sweetest snuggles in the whole world. Cherish the beautiful moments. Endure the challenging ones. This too shall pass. CONGRATS to you.
Thank you thank you thank you for a beautiful comment that so wonderfully captures the highs and lows of it all. I felt like this really gave me a good perspective and a lot to think about. <3
Hi Jen,
It seems like everyone has given you a lot of helpful tips. I didn’t read through them all so maybe someone covered this already 🙂
I have a almost 14 month old son and another one (Boy!) on the way due end of August/early September! Boys are so much fun!
If you choose to circumcise your son, be prepared to do a little extra for him at diaper changes. It’s normally just a week, but for some reason, putting the vaseline and gauze on was an extra step that I was so grateful was gone and could change his diaper normally. It’s not a huge deal, but be prepared for a little extra crying during diaper changes and for him to leak out of his diapers a bit because of the vaseline.
Emotionally, I cried a lot when I got home because I knew things wouldn’t be the same between me and my husband. Of course, having a baby is the best thing to happen, but be prepared for “grieving” the time you have with your partner because it will change, but for the better!
Lastly, if you do not know Jesus as your Savior, I highly encourage you to put your trust in Him. He is a help in hard times, especially during those late night feedings or when you have no idea how to get him to sleep or why he won’t stop crying. God gives peace beyond understanding. Plus, it is amazing to praise Him for the little miracle He created in you these last 9 months.
God bless you in this wonderful journey!
Each milestone with your son will be even better than the last!
I also had period cramps at the end and TONS of Braxton hicks. My labor began with the cramps feeling like more intense period cramps. I always wondered how I would know they are “real” contractions…you will just know. They are more intense and wave like, coming and going with intensity. You are so close!
The emotions I felt after giving birth were unlike anything I could have imagined. After I gave birth and was all cleaned up and my baby was laying on me I just sobbed. Like a deep, ugly sob. It felt like my life was flashing before my eyes and I felt every emotion of her life growing up. It was scary. I didn’t know how I would be able to leave the hospital because I wanted nothing more than to keep her safe and to never have her experience pain. However…this does get better after a few weeks. It’s crazy! Just prepare yourself that you will be kind of a mess emotionally but it does get better. Hormones are no joke. But also be prepared that giving birth is seriously the best experience. I cannot put into words how I felt after she was born except that it was like heaven on earth. I wish everyone could experience that level of bliss.
My mom and dad stayed a week after she was born and it was definitely helpful just to be able to get sleep for a solid few hours. I made the mistake of having too many people over my house the day I got back from the hospital. It was WAY too overwhelming and I ended up crying in the bathroom because it was too much. I would advise against that and wait a few weeks before visitors. But that was just me!
Good luck! 🙂