Well, friends. I certainly didn’t think this was an update that I would be writing but I knew it was a possibility given how often first time moms are late. Here I am at 41 weeks pregnant!
I started having Braxton-Hicks contractions around week 16 and then was told that I had an “irritable uterus” at week 27. My doctor initially said he’d be pleased if I made it to 34 weeks and was pretty certain I’d deliver before 38. SURPRISE! We’re now looking at induction.
Trust me when I say, I’d much rather be dealing with a late baby than an early one and this is an “issue” (that’s not really even an issue) that I’m grateful to have.
41 WEEKS PREGNANCY UPDATE
There’s not much to update you on when it comes to baby’s development this week. He’s just cozy and still growing in there. I’ll be interested to see how much he weighs when he’s born. I certainly don’t feel like I have a 9+ pound baby inside of me so I’m hoping he’s closer to these figures of high 7s, low 8s. Who knows!?
Trivia. Did you know that I’m technically not “overdue” or “post-term” until I reach 42 weeks? Baby is just a little late. Remember, due dates are just estimates and it’s common for first babies to be late, especially if they’re boys!
HOW I’M FEELING AT 41 WEEKS PREGNANT
Weight gain/body changes: 28 pounds at yesterday’s appointment.
Symptoms: same, same. Some cramping, heartburn, insomnia, leg fatigue/soreness at night, some back pain but nothing too bad.
Emotional check-in: oh these days past your due date are TOUGH! I have been inundated with questions, messages and check-ins. I’m so thankful for the concern and love but it’s still hard to feel like I’m not letting my friends and family down…even though I know that’s crazy.
I was doing great until this new week rolled around and my induction date is on the horizon. I’m feeling more urgency and anxiety this week than I was last. Also, I’ve had three friends who were due after me that have now delivered their babies before me! Ahhh!
I’m really trying not to get in a space of doubting my body or its ability to do what it was designed to do. It’s taking a lot of deep breathing, meditation and relaxation to stay grounded in that.
I had someone tell me yesterday that “babies are born on their birthdays, not their due dates” and that helped so much. A great mantra to keep with me!
Workouts: since I last updated I’ve done one yoga class, one run/walk and daily walking. I have still been tempted to go to the gym and lift but like I mentioned last week, I am terrified of being sore for labor…and everything makes me sore these days. My calf muscles are sore from the 2 miles of jogging I did on Sunday!
A girlfriend shared these wise words yesterday when I was debating a gym trip with her over text, “just go get a slice of carrot cake, take it to a nice shady spot in the park and enjoy eating without anyone touching you or stealing your food.” (She has a three year old!)
Doctor updates: I had a fetal non-stress test yesterday and was told, “that’s a happy baby in there!” I didn’t get to see my doctor yesterday because he was on call and at the hospital in surgery but he called last night to check on me. He said my NST looked perfect and as long as I was feeling good and baby keeps moving, he’s okay with holding off on the induction until this weekend.
I go in to see him again on Friday morning for an office visit. My induction is scheduled for Saturday at 7:30 p.m. but he told me to be ready on Friday to head to the hospital. I am hoping and praying that I don’t make it to that Friday appointment!
What I’m doing to encourage labor: nothing too crazy. I truly believe that babies come when they’re ready but here’s what I have been doing…
- I’ve had two induction massages and I’ll have another massage this week. Massages also just feel amazing at this point in pregnancy.
- Sitting on an exercise ball when I’m working at my desk but I can’t really say I’m bouncing on it or anything.
- Walking a lot.
- Yesterday I started with nipple stimulation. My doctor told me to get my breast pump out and start using that. The bonus of that is that I am able to pump some colostrum to stick in the fridge. I can feed it to baby with a syringe after he’s born. Oh and using the breast pump for the first time was a very interesting experience. Wow.
- Tomorrow I’m seeing an acupuncturist to hit some induction points. I did a lot of acupuncture when I was trying to conceive so it seemed to make sense to go back now.
Fun shares:
- We’re waiting until he’s born to commit to a name BUT I think we have one! It’s different than the first name that we chose when I was referring to him as “baby G.” He now might be “baby F!” 🙂 The G name is still a contender but for some reason, I started doubting it and it just didn’t feel right in my gut so we made a short list with other options…one of which we are pretty in love with but doesn’t necessarily meet the original criteria I wanted the name to have! Oh well.
- There will not be a 42 week update because no matter what, we’ll have a baby this time next week!
- The Instagram baby watch has been pretty fun. It’s definitely helped build the excitement for me to have so many of you checking in daily and telling me, “I don’t even know you but I’m so excited for this baby to arrive.” First, I know we don’t all technically “know” each other but we are totally connected. I feel lucky for every supportive and encouraging message, email and comment that I’ve received! I can’t believe that within the next few days you’ll see a baby face in my feed and not a bump or a picture of my food! 😛
Postpartum updates/the fourth trimester: so many have shared that they have enjoyed these weekly updates and will miss them when they’re gone. I’ve done a lot of thinking about that and I think I’m going to continue weekly updates through the “fourth trimester.”
I think that the first 12 weeks after the birth of a baby are a truly unique and transformative time in a woman’s life as baby adjusts to life outside of the womb and mama adjusts to life with baby out of the womb.
As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t want to turn this into a baby/mom blog so rather than doing weekly updates about baby boy’s development, I want to follow a similar format as I did during pregnancy where I touch on his milestones/development but the bulk of the update will be about my experience of motherhood. I will talk about everything (VERY HONESTLY, I swear to you) in the same way that I did in pregnancy…from body changes to emotional well-being to exercise to food and more.
Sound good?
QUESTIONS
Speaking of the fourth trimester, I would love to hear your top insights and advice for the newborn stage…not just surviving but thriving. Advice you were given that worked well? Anything you learned personally? Anything you wish you did differently?
Any advice for staying connected to your partner and feeling like a team during the newborn stage?
So excited for you Jen! I check everyday to see if baby boy has been born! Haha
Getting a shower every morning before my husband left was so helpful. Not only because i had terrible night sweats it just helped me a feel a bit more normal.
Eat lots!!!!! Breastfeeding hunger is REAL. And it sneaks up on you. Keep a box of bars by your bed. Haha.
Take help from people. I guess sleep when ya can. I never did – not a napper. And in the evenings- go to bed early – let Tanner take the shift from when baby boy goes to sleep (preferably somewhere else in the house) til he wakes for another feed. We actually slept in different rooms for a little while so he could get quality sleep. One of us had to stay on the battlefield!
Good luck!!! Xoxoxo
Advice for staying connected….when you get out and are alone try and not talk about the baby. I struggled a lot with the change in my relationship, my husband loved me the most because I was the mother of his children now not because of the “original me” any longer-if that makes sense. I would just say try very hard to figure out any way you can to have a little alone time.
Share duties. My husband was a BOMB swaddler he started when I was laid up in the hospital. He also did some diaper changing in the middle of the night after I fed the kids and would bring the baby to me. That helped a lot,
The advice that I would give myself looking back is to not over think the small things. Someone not listening to your routine for a portion of the day won’t make or break anything. I would get SO frustrated when people wouldn’t listen.
I would also say do not compare yourself. Social media makes it too easy to pretend life is 100% perfect. Breastfeeding is often times challenging and HARD, new baby adjustments can be challenging and HARD. Anyone telling you they didn’t experience any of this is fibbing. If you feel yourself comparing get off!!!!!!!!
Goodluck!
I think asking for help is huge. It’s also such a relief to have your partner see that you need help and just step in. Even bigger? Surrendering to the help. Being able to say, yeah, you’re right. I need to step away. Grab a shower. A snack. A moment of zen, whatever that might be for you.
I personally strived by still be semi active with my girlfriends. It’s easy to find yourself in your house for 3 days and not realize it. Try and stay social. Coffee dates with friends. Take out and invite someone over. Just little moments where you’re around friends. Plus, they’re huge helpers. 🙂
So excited for y’all!!! I agree with the person above who said to take a shower first thing in the morning. It makes you feel so much better and helps to somewhat distinguish day from night when they all blend together ? Days 3-5 of breastfeeding are the hardest. And they’re really hard! It gets SO much easier after that!! You’ll be an amazing mom!
No baby or kids in my life but I LOVE (LOVE LOVE LOVE) helping out friends when their kids have come into the world! Usually this is through food…either making lasagna which can be frozen or sporadically ordering a pizza for the new house 🙂 The other comments make a lot of sense and I know you’ll get lots of great advice from your readers. Here’s to meeting baby boy SOON!!!!!!!
Your friend has good advice. 🙂
That was me–I had an “irritable uterus” and actually went in to L&D at I think 34 weeks with contractions (like real ones). And every visit my doc said the baby would be early. He was not. He was a week late and we had to be induced. Whatever!
So excited for you, Jen! Such good advice above – hard for me as a type A doer, but it really does help in all kinds of life change circumstances to let your village boost you through it! Letting someone watch babe so that you can get out for a gentle stroll with the girls, postnatal massage when you feel ready. Here’s to a happy, healthy mom and baby boy 🙂
No advice — just positive vibes and prayers as you welcome your son into your arms. It’s been an honor watching you navigate this pregnancy!! <3
If it’s ANY comfort at all, I was induced with both of my kids (stubborn in the belly as they have been outside of it!) While I don’t have anything to compare it to, I did not think that induction made labor crazy hard or difficult. It took a little longer to be able to push with my first, but seriously my second one…no time at all. When he came out I actually said “Wait? I’m done? That’s all?” (and it was in Charlotte… at CMC, not sure if you are delivering there but they are GREAT).
So exciting! This is making me relive it all. My water actually broke in my due date but labour didn’t start so I was induced. Anyway, my son is now 17 months and honestly, even though I remember labour clearly, it is such a small portion of this motherhood journey, it feels so unimportant! We build it up because it is unknown but trust yourself and the medical professionals and you will be fine. I was so disappointed in having to be induced, and eventually getting an epidural and an emergency C-section…I wanted the whole natural experience- but once I held my son. None of that matters!
No real advice but my midwife said to try and shower every day and get outside every day. It makes you feel human! Also, I hated it when my friends said this to me but it gets easier and SO much better. Those first few weeks are the best and the worst. I was so in love but so tired and sore and full of emotions! It changes everything- but just enjoy staring at your son and binge watch loads of tv! There will come a day when you miss having them asleep on you while you watch another episode of mindless tv!
I’m a longtime reader, and am so excited for you. I am 7 weeks postpartum with my second right now, and the “fourth trimester” can be rough, but there are a few things that made it easier for me with my first and are now also working with my second.
First of all, be prepared for all the emotions. If you’re happy and over the mood in love with your baby, that’s amazing. But if you’re weepy and sad and wondering what just happened to your life and when you’ll love this strange new creature, that’s ok too, and perfectly normal. You might also be somewhere in between. I was way more the latter with my first and right in the middle with my second. The first few weeks are all about survival, and then somewhere around 5 or 6 weeks they’ll give you their first real smile and your heart will grow ten sizes in an instant. Just hang on for that moment – it’s worth the wait.
Second, do things right away to start teaching the baby the difference between night and day. The things that worked for me were doing the last feeding of the night (and any subsequent night feedings) in a dark and quiet room, and using a swaddle religiously every single night, but only for night sleeping, never for naps. Also helpful is being consistent with where the baby sleeps at night, and having all night sleep be done on a flat, immobile surface – not in a bouncy seat/swing and not on me.
Third is not pushing myself to be out and about if I dont want to be. After my first I did this and I regretted it. This time around I sometimes spend an entire day on the couch in PJs in front of the TV and sometimes take afternoon naps when the baby does, and sometimes I get dressed and go out for coffee with a friend. I do whatever feels right on that particular day and that has helped me feel better physically and emotionally.
Lots of luck and love to you! Cant wait to see that sweet little boy.
YES to all of this, but especially teaching night and day and night sleep consistency. I’m convinced my daughter slept through the night as early as she did because of this. Getting baby outside every day, or at least hanging out by a sunny window, makes a big difference in distinguishing night and day but also getting vitamin D and reducing jaundice.
Sending you good thoughts these next few days! I’m rooting for you and baby boy, and hoping he decides to make his way into the world soon.
I rarely comment, but wanted to say that I’ve enjoyed your dedicated update posts and would love to read more about your experience with motherhood – only what you’re comfortable sharing, of course. As I consider having kids down the road (we’re still a few years out), it’s nice to hear about other people’s experiences, particularly when those people have a sane and balanced perspective like you.
I definitely have unfollowed some of the fitness blogs that I read regularly in the past because they became very kids-centric, to the point that the content I really enjoyed was no longer there. But I also think that blogging about your experience as a parent makes sense when that’s a huge part of your life. I personally feel like the mix of posts during your pregnancy – still having good-quality fitness content, with some baby stuff mixed in – has been good. And having dedicated update posts makes it easier for people to filter out content they’re not interested in/not comfortable reading. But that’s just my .02 and I’m sure you’ll strike a good balance of parent/fitness content once the baby is here and things have settled down a bit.
Best wishes for a beautiful birth experience and healthy Mom and baby! It has been great fun to watch you both grow and your patience is so admirable! Can’t wait to see pics..especially of his two golden nursemaids standing by him! They really do tend to adopt them as one of their own quite quickly! Our golden used to alert me and pester me every time my newborn cried until I picked him up! The baby..not the golden!
So excited for you! I have definitely been an baby watch.
My postpartum advice is it to join a new mom’s group. I went to one at my hospital that was led by a nurse. It was a great place to meet other new moms, socialize and ask my crazy first time mom questions. 9 years later, some of the women I met there are still good friends.
Another piece of advice. Don’t be scared of bottles. I made the mistake of waiting to give my first a bottle and it made going out without him and returning to work, incredibly stressful. With my second I pumped in the hospital and gave him 2 bottles there. He was an excellent nurser and bottle feeder. I was especially glad we started bottles early with my second because it meant I could go out of town for a family emergency, leaving him for a day when he was 2 weeks old without worry. He took bottles all day and went back to nursing just fine when I returned.
For the “fourth trimester” I wish I had given myself more grace. We don’t have family close by (8 hours away) so I think this sense of “I can’t fail at anything” set in and I felt overwhelmed with keeping the house up and caring for a newborn (and myself…my needs were WAY on the back burner though). I was really hard on myself but I didn’t realize it until much, much later. So I’d say, grace during that time. Your focus will and should be on your baby and your healing. Outsource groceries with delivery options, don’t force yourself to step away from your baby if you’re not ready…mainly, just do whatever you have to in that moment on that day to feel good about where you are currently. (I hope that makes sense!) Also, when we had family in town they really pushed me and us to go out on a “date night” and to get out without our daughter but I was SO not ready!! I didn’t WANT to be away from her…if we are blessed enough to have another baby I will not feel bad about that. Your instincts as a mom are to be with your child (duh, that’s nature’s way of keeping them alive!) so no rush; do that kind of stuff on your own time.
Also, if you are breastfeeding (I still am at 15 months pp) it will be challenging but if it feels right to you, then keep going. If it doesn’t serve you anymore then stop. Your baby will still thrive and grown and be healthy and smart as long as they are fed. 🙂 But, if it feels right to continue BFing, then know again it can be tough. The cluster feeds will literally and figuratively drain you, and same with growth spurts. There will probably be many sleepless nights for a long time (unless you’re one of the lucky ones!!) and that is normal. The good news is it does not last forever which leads me to…
Nothing is forever! Their little habits will come and go; their sleep cycles will change just as soon as you get into a rhythm (or when it feels like you are now a real life zombie thanks to the sleep regressions!); the witching hours don’t stick around; the growth spurts and cluster feeding isn’t going to last as long as it will seem in the moment. All of the first year is fill with SO MUCH growth and as a result, constant change. So just know the hard parts of the first year are not forever. <3
Best advice for the newborn stage that I can think of:
– Don’t be afraid to ask for help from anyone, especially when they offer. Be honest with your needs.
– Babywear during the day as much as you’re comfortable doing to free up your hands and give your arms a break.
– Do what works best for you, your baby, and your family and not necessarily what everyone else tells you works. What works for y’all may be different than what works for others and the newborn stage, especially the first 6-8 weeks, is about survival.
– Try to find one thing everyday that will help you feel some version of “normal.” Of course, your new “normal” will change post-baby, but if there’s anything that you can do for just you, do it. For example, I took a daily shower, even if it meant putting my littles in a rock n play that I’d bring into the bathroom and put next to the shower. It helped me feel more like myself in a period of time that felt anything but.
Last, newborns are noisy sleepers and breathers, with lots of grunting and irregular breathing when they’re itty-bitty and most sounds are normal. When in doubt, call a doc, but know your little noisy one is not the only one that is :).
GOOD LUCK and fingers crossed for you for an easy (and imminent) delivery!
Wishing you a safe and easy delivery!!
My fourth trimester advice would be to keep an open mind. This was really hard for me because I am a total planner. Prior to my first’s arrival, I was set on breastfeeding, I had read Happiest Baby on the Block and perfected my swaddle, and I had taken all these diligent notes from baby books. Welp, turned out I hated breastfeeding, my son couldn’t stand being swaddled, and I never consulted any of my notes so all my careful planning kinda went out the window.
As for the partner stuff—that’s hard! Prolonged sleep deprivation and the stress that comes with having a newborn can be tough on the best of relationships. I found myself snapping at and resenting my husband for getting more sleep than I did, for getting out of the house more than I did, etc. I think we both agreed that those first six months were just HARD and I don’t think we did much thriving, lol. But just remember that everything with a baby is a phase. Your baby won’t cry forever, you WILL sleep again. (I’m also reminding myself of this, as #2 is on the way!).
All the best to you!!
Hmmm…. definitely give people specific tasks when they ask how they can help. Food prep and house cleaning are godsends. Don’t feel like you *have* to hand the baby over. The first 6 weeks are so snuggly, and so fast. Hold the baby as much as you want to, and when you need a break, THEN hand him over. Don’t feel like you need to let everyone else snuggle while you sweep the house (unless you really want to sweep the house haha). I learned this the hard way with my first.
Wonder Weeks app is great. Natural Baby Sleep Solution book is also really helpful for learning how to encourage the baby’s natural rhythms without “sleep training.”
You can’t spoil a baby in the first year. You just can’t. Especially not the first 6 months. If you want to hold him while he sleeps, do it. If you want to breastfeed on demand, do it (he’s not “using you as a pacifier.”)
If you need breastfeeding help, earlier is better! Find an IBCLC in your area, or you’re also welcome to give me a call even though I’m in Kansas haha.
Good luck. So excited for you!
Good luck with your delivery! Even though kids weren’t in my life plan, I have enjoyed following your updates on your pregnancy. I am also excited for your updates to continue after baby boy is here. Being a mom is such an important and big part of your life that it wouldn’t make sense for you to not include that as part of your blog. As others have said, what really draws me to your blog is your writing style and your varied content.
I’m sure you’ll make a great mom! Best wishes for you, Tanner, and baby’s furry siblings as you welcome your new baby boy into the world!
I was induced at 41 weeks and it was a fine experience. Don’t worry if it gets to that!
One this I highly recommend is having either a group of friends or joining a Mom’s group. I live in Seattle and we have ‘PEPS’ and it was a lifesaver. So many other new Mom’s going thru the exact same thing.
Good luck!!
So excited for you! If I could go back and enjoy 1-2 more days before birth, I would. Enjoy these final moments before life changes 🙂 Once this baby comes your hands won’t be free for a while.
Yay! So excited for you! You already have a very healthy outlook on everything. My biggest piece of advice for the early stages is that when people offer to help, have specific things for them to tackle. Don’t be ashamed to ask for them to fold the laundry (they’ll love going through teeny baby clothes), bring dinner, vacuum real quick, anything like that. Otherwise they will “help” by holding the baby and that is what you should get to do. 😉 I was induced and while not ideal, it is really OK. You’ll do great either way. Sending lots of good vibes!
Another reader that keeps checking to see if he’s arrived! But I totally know what you mean at how mentally draining it is to feel like everyone is waiting on you to have the baby. They really do come on their own terms and you seem like you’re doing a great job of balancing the excitement, nerves, and anticipation that comes with these final days.
I think the best advice is to do what works for you and your baby as each one is so different. It can be daunting trying different things trying to find what works best, but gradually you figure each other out. For me personally, I am not a great napper and I struggled with post-pregnancy insomnia at times (even though I was so tired) so I let myself “sleep in” in the mornings (i.e. if I did a feeding around 5 or 6 am, I’d try to go back to bed until 8 or 9). But if naps or going to bed early are what allow you get a bit more sleep, do that! Also, I agree with striving to take a shower and change out of pajamas each day (even if you just put on comfy lounge clothes) and I also tried to get out of the house for a bit every day as well, even if it was just for a walk around the neighborhood. I also had a May baby and was grateful for the nicer weather that allowed me to do that. But I have plenty of friends that wanted to hibernate and were overwhelmed to leave home for awhile and that’s perfectly ok too. And lastly, the phrases “This too shall pass” and “The days are long, but the years are short” were things I kept in mind a lot in those early weeks. That 4th trimester can be really, really hard, but is also so short in the big scheme of things. My daughter turns 2 on Sunday and I look at her baby pictures and can hardly believe how much she’s changed and grown (and how much I’ve changed and grown) when it feels like just yesterday that I was in your shoes. Cliche but true!
Sending you positive energy as you prepare to bring your little boy into the world!
Hang in there, I know it is difficult past your due date! I was 10 days late with both my boys. I agree with the shower every day thing; I never found it to be that difficult because you can just move the bouncer or whatever the baby is in into the bathroom. I also felt better eating well so I focused on simple, good foods. The first baby is the biggest adjustment… the second time around is different, but for me way easier because I had my 2 year old in daycare so I was home with just the newborn (which at that point actually seemed way easier than a 2 year old!). You’ll do great!
I was induced with my first baby boy this past January! I was so scared to be induced and it wasn’t how I envisioned things going, but I can say that I had an absolutely wonderful labor/delivery experience! Hoping your little man decides to make his arrival on his own, but should he be stubborn like my little guy you will also have an amazing experience. Can’t wait to read about it!
I used to hate showering, but after I had a baby it was something I loved to do on an (almost) daily basis. It really helped me to feel human. Also, getting out in those first few days is really helpful! I feel like the longer you wait to pack up a baby, use the car seat, and try to figure things out the more daunting it becomes. It’s not as hard as it seems, especially if you make it a routine from the get go.
You’re going to be such an amazing mom!
My partner advice is to talk now about your expectations of each other and what is most important to each of you, though it will probably change. When you’re sleep deprived and running on fumes, frustrations and resentments can build quickly. Figure out what works for your family and, above all, try to show each other lots and lots of grace.
Adjust your expectations of yourself. There will be days that if you manage to take a shower and eat a meal before you’re completely ravenous, that will be the most productivity you can manage. It’s fine and normal.
Sleep when the baby sleeps is a nice idea, but I found it difficult in practice. I tried to take a morning nap (even though it felt ridiculous to lay down at 10 am when my mind was racing) and it made a difference in the early days, especially with making it through the early evening witching hour.
And something that surprised me is the adrenaline rush you get once baby is asleep. You may have slept 30 minutes total the night before and be dead to the world, but once baby is asleep you get this incredible burst of energy that makes you feel like you can do all the things. Don’t. Do one or two of the most urgent or important ones that only you can do, and write the rest down to outsource to anyone who comes to visit you and the baby and offers help.
You’ve totally got this! You’re going to be great 🙂
I’m so very excited for you & your baby boy who will be here any day! I love reading your blog & can’t wait for the updates to come once baby boy is here! Best, best wishes with delivery! We’re all thinking about you & know you’re going to be a great mama!!
So excited for you!! You’re probably sick of hearing this but get as much sleep and alone time as you can before he arrives. Might be awhile before it happens again. ? Advice for 4th trimester?
* Communicate, communicate, communicate with your partner. No matter how tired you both are. It will save stress and heartache. I remember us being so tired that I wasn’t sure I made any sense but eventually I learned how to ask for his support. Also, don’t freak out if you’re crying constantly for the first few weeks. And be honest with your doctor about ANY blue feelings.
* Never be afraid to ask for help. It’s hard not to strive to be super woman. But I learned the value of having a friend or family member stop by and watch babies while I took a long bath or ran a quick errand and/or give Brad time to take a timeout.
* Don’t try a million ways to care for baby all at one time. Always listen to your instincts — and trust me, he’ll give you queues that you’ll quickly pick up and in some weird mama way you naturally figure things out together.
* All three of you get into a routine ASAP. I strongly believe in feeding and sleep schedules (for everyone involved ?). And Nested Bean swaddles. ??
Praying for a smooth delivery and transition into the best stage of life you could ever dream of!!
I was induced with both my kids and did NOT handle it particularly well 😉 Hang in there, it’s really not something we can control and now that my kids are 3 and 5 I can laugh when I think about how crazy I was. Very excited for you!
I was induced with all 3 of my children, I joke that they would all still be in there because they were so cozy if the doctor would have let them ? Just want to encourage you to not feel any shame if you do have to be induced. I struggled with it and wishing my body would “just go into labor!” Like everyone else’s. Looking back I did everything I could to provoke labor starting on its own but for some reason it just wasn’t my story. My story was I made a really comfortable home for my babies and they stayed inside for a while. Any way that you give birth it will be such an amazing experience.
Also don’t get discouraged if breast feeding is challenging at first. You will get the hang of it. The medela gel pads are AMAZING! I would highly recommend getting some before the baby comes.
Good luck friend! So happy for you!
I love how your concern is for the baby and keeping him in there until he is ready! Keep on walking girl every day! Eat some spicy Mexican food, partake in all the old wives tales to induce labor.
It does look like your belly has dropped. Can you breathe easier? That was a sure sign for me!
My baby was 7-10, I bet yours will be around the same size!
Newborn stage… I really miss it. Just have your pantry stocked with easy to grab snacks, chug a lot of water while you are nursing. Babywear and go for walks each afternoon.
I’ve been following along closely because I was due May 5th and am in the process of being induced as we speak! I can definitely say ditto to everything you touched on in your emotional check-in. It’s such an emotional roller coaster the last couple weeks but I wish you the best on your delivery no matter how it happens!!
Congratulations, Jen!
My main comment, just based on my own experience, would be having no expectations of yourself and how you should or wish you would feel in those first days and weeks. A friend of mine seemed to be doing fantastically shortly after her c-section, so I assumed that due to my natural, vaginal birth, my physical recovery would be quick.
It was not. I was so fragile those first 6 weeks, both physically and emotionally. Loving my little one was instantaneous, but I definitely cannot describe how I felt at the beginning as thriving. But saying I just survived does the complexity of the experience a disservice. It was amazing.
I think the three of us existed. Day and night blended a bit. In retrospect, that period was beautiful, intense, and hard.
All of this is to say that if at any point you feel like you’re not thriving right out of the gate, just know that you’re not expected to feel any certain way or achieve any level of “success” at being newly post-partum. For me, next time, I’ll trust that the complicated, delicate, overwhelmed-ness I felt was normal. 6 months later it has become deep contentment and constant delightedness at changing and growing with my super cute, super fun little munchkin. Not only that, I’m slowly getting a grip on how to thrive in my new life.
But for me, time was the only thing that could get me to that point.
So exciting! I was induced at 41 weeks and it was a really long labor (I delayed having them break my water) of 40hrs, but so worth it!
My “thriving” advice is to get footie PJs for him with ZIPPERS. I can hardly believe they still make baby clothes with zillions of snaps or buttons. Our fave is the Bonds Zip Wondersuits bc they have a two-way zipper to just take the legs out for easy diaper change. It is a total lifesaver at night, but it’s awesome any time. My husband still prefers to dress her in them all day bc they are cute and SO easy. LOL Cute prints, cheaper than listed due to exchange rate/tax with Australia, and free fast shipping over $100 (like $85usd?) I saw someone post about them on Reddit before I had the baby last year, and want to pay it forward. 😀
I also had an irritable uterus, labor at 32 weeks that needed to be stopped with mag sulfate, and my baby still stayed put until I was induced! It was crazy, because I was walking around for a month 100% effaced and 3-4 cm. Luckily my doc took pity on me and induced at 39 +1 because I was contracting all the time. Babies are so weird though when they don’t want to come out :p
For the fourth trimester, don’t worry about it. Your body and baby will tell you what to do and just do that. I ate a lot of sweets with breastfeeding, napped when the baby napped a lot, went for walks, and just did what felt good.
Such amazing advice, comments and support from your readers, Jen! That’s fantastic! Just my two cents:
* Breastfeed on demand.
Little one is growing so much in those early days (newborn-3 months: I still demand feed but it’s every 3 hours now whoop whoop!) That might mean that some days you feed him for an hour, think you are done but 20 mins later he is hungry again. Just get some snacks, a good movie/series and have a feeding honeymoon. They don’t understand schedules and clocks- they just need milk, sleep, a clean diaper and snuggles.
* Get a cleaning service. I wish I had someone come once a week or so for the first couple weeks (or maybe even forever haha) to help with the cleaning. That’s just one less thing for you to worry about.
*Sleep envy is a thing. The hormones and sleep deprivation are a messy combo. I resented Daniel for sleeping while I was feeding but we found little ways I could get more sleep and feel less bitter lol.
* Have fun with your partner. I had no idea how lonely (but wonderful!) the first 2 weeks would be even with Daniel there. We were like passing ships as we handed our precious baby over and took turns getting some sleep. We forced ourselves to do things together to have fun and remember why we loved each other.
* Shower, get in the sun, cook, do what makes you happy ?
* Soak in those cuddles. I agree with one of the other comments that you can’t spoil a baby. Take I’m every moment with that tiny one because it really does go so quickly (not when you are in it).
Have an amazing birth Jen- one short day in the long journey of motherhood! It’s by far the best and hardest role I’ve had in my life so far and I wouldn’t change a thing.
—Kendra
I just have one piece of advice and it might raise some controversy. 😉 Hold your baby, hold them as much as you want. I mentioned in a previous comment that my mom and I had to alternate holding him at night for his first couple of months because he made some unusual breathing sounds when he was lying down that made me really uncomfortable. At 2 months the doctor prescribed an oxygen/heart rate machine and we were able to lay him down at night. The controversy is if you hold them too much when they sleep they won’t transfer well to a bed, but Wyatt did great. Never had a problem in his bed and I wouldn’t give up the time getting extra snuggles for anything. Hold hold hold him 🙂
So exciting to be in the final days! The absolute best thing I did in the newborn stage was to relax and go with the flow – which is totally unlike me in any other circumstance. All babies are different, and suggestions/advice from others can be helpful to try, but you really will naturally figure out what works for you and your baby. My one suggestion on sleep would be to go to bed early and let your partner stay up with the baby for a bit so you can get a solid couple of hours. The tough nights are the ones where you’re not getting more than an hour’s sleep at a time – getting several hours in a row is a survival must!
I found the newborn stage to be really difficult in terms of connecting with my husband. My bond with our son was this instant, all-consuming thing, and I think it sometimes takes men a little longer to develop that bond, which was hard for me to understand at the time. Getting out together as a family was great (esp when the baby still sleeps for a lot of the outings!) and try to sneak in some one on one time where you can, even just a quick lunch date. And remember that it is just a stage in life that you have to get through together!
Advice for 4th trimester:
Use swaddle blankets, preferably the ones with the velcro. Get yourself a good white noise machine or app. If you’re considering a post partum doula, get one! For at least the first month, don’t try to get the baby on a schedule. He will sleep and eat and poop whenever he wants. Have a sense of humor when changing diapers – golden showers will be in your future. Don’t be too proud to accept help and btw the help you need could be something mundane like having someone put dishes in the dishwasher. Everyone always says “sleep when the baby sleeps.” That advice used to make me want to punch someone in the throat. You won’t follow this advice. But maybe like once or twice, just do it. When in doubt, call the pediatrician’s office. You’re not bothering them. Find a community of other new moms – I highly recommend a breastfeeding support group or a mommy and me class. I still talk to some of the ladies I met there with my first. He’ll be 8 next month. Get out of the house once a day, even if you walk around your block for 5 minutes. Seriously. Get some sun on your skin. Take a shower at least once every 2-3 days. Once a day is ideal. It’s ok to scream in your pillow. Learn how to wrap the baby up and wear him. Take PP Depression seriously. Baby blues are normal. If you feel like you’re still not yourself by 6 weeks, TELL SOMEONE.
Reconnecting with your partner: Try to get out of the house together even if it’s for an hour. The baby will sleep a lot so it’s fine to let him sleep on his grandma for an hour while you guys go take a walk, or grab a drink. We did this with both kids. To help my anxiety, we would stay close to the house. Also try to relate to each other with grace, patience and a sense of humor. You’ll both not know what you’re doing and it’s ok. At attitude of: how can I help you/laughing at yourselves/that’s not the way I would have done that but it’s ok will be incredibly helpful.
One last thing: enjoy that newborn smell. Oh my goodness it’s the best. Us moms often warn newbies about the challenges – there are many – but there are lots of moments of joy and wonder. Even if they last for a few minutes, they’re still great. And if you can take care of yourself enough (like getting sleep, making sure you have people around to help and socialize with, going easy on yourself), you’ll be present enough to recognize them.
I can’t wait to hear about your next chapter, Jen! Good luck! You will be great.
Totally agree with the sleep when the baby sleeps comment. This is crap! Thank you for calling this out!
It is true – babies arrive on their birthday. The notion of “being late” needs to be washed away. I had my first baby at 42 and the second at 41 weeks. After being stressed with all of the inbound concern with the first being “late” (even though my baby was great), I did not even tell people the guess-date (a more appropriate term than “Due Date”) on my second. I gave a very wide range. Try to calm your mind and relax your body as much as you can. Your baby is obviously loving the comfort of your healthy body and growing nicely…..
Good for you cooking up a healthy baby boy! I’m always amazed by friends that go so far overdue. I think it’s an ode to how well your body is sustaining pregnancy.
I think the best way to thrive in the newborn stage is to soak it all up. It goes so, so fast. Cuddle that baby all that you can and savor the moments. If you haven’t already, I recommend lining up a photographer to do newborn pictures of you, the baby and your partner. It may feel like a task to fit that in during the first 10 days, but it’s so special and you will treasure those pictures forever. Also, people want to help, but don’t always know how. Just tell people exactly what they can do for you. Sometimes people just want to hold the baby, but if you’re nursing a lot, they can best help you by cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. And Amen for a shower each day!
Someone may have pointed this out to you already, but keep an eye on the shelf life of the colostrum you pump. You may want to freeze it. You’re ahead of the game knowing how to use the breast pump already!
Good luck to you over the next few days 🙂
I was induced at 41 weeks and my son was born the next day! If you get induced, don’t stress. I had a safe vaginal birth and baby was healthy and happy. Yes it’s nice for baby to be “born when he’s ready” but sometimes that’s not how it works, baby needs some help, and that’s okay.
My advice: someone told me “everything’s a phase.” It’s so true. You will be able to get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time again, you will be able to eat an uninterrupted hot meal with your dominant hand again, “witching hour” crying is temporary, super noisy sleepers get quieter, and so on! It will get better and better. The second two weeks are easier than the first two. Get all the sleep you can!!!
It has been so fun to watch your Instagram feed in the hope of a baby is here announcement. He will come when he is supposed to and your body will handle it well! As far as fourth trimester goes sometimes it is just surviving but I have found that it’s helped me to keep my expectations low and my scheduling to a minimum – just watching the baby’s cues and rolling with them – eventually a schedule will kind of create itself but it’s not not worth the stress to try and force a routine onto someone who has basically been doing what he wants when he wants for the past 40ish weeks. Also breast milk takes a few days to come in so don’t get freaked if it’s slow to drop and drink way more fluids than you think are humanly possible to drink. So excited for you!!
My biggest piece of advice is two parts- 1. Get in a shower every day, I was always amazed at how something so simple made me feel human!! 2. Get out for fresh air every day!
Just keep the motto in your mind to do what you need to do to survive. That also means you do what you need to do to feel good and take care of yourself, which is part of surviving (eating, bathing, doing things you enjoy like TV, exercise, etc). Shower every day (makes a huge difference)- I have a 12 week old and I shower at night when the babe goes down for the night and my husband takes the night shift. Have food prepped that is easy to eat- pre made sandwiches, cut up fruits and veggies, snack bars, etc and your favorite drinks pre-prepped (like tea, etc). Sleep deprivation will have the ability annoy your mental state BIG time, which will be up and down due to hormones anyways. Just having a quick convo with a friend or family member can make a huge difference in your emotional state, makes you feel “normal”. You seem to have a very strong circle of friends though which is good. You may be surprised how much he sleeps/naps, so take advantage of that time and do things for yourself or do things to make the time he is awake easier for you- refresh your burp rags, wash pump parts and/or bottles, straighten the nursery/diaper changing area, etc- organization is key. Having a tidy house helped my mental state honestly way more than a quick nap. I had a hard time napping because I had a fear I wouldn’t hear my baby waking up and it would give me MAJOR anxiety once I woke up. FYI I gained exactly 28 lbs at delivery too (134) and when I got home I was 116, now I’m around 110 and very happy with my body. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself either- losing weight, breastfeeding (if it is not working), a certain style of parenting… if it is not working, don’t stress yourself out about it. And enjoy the time with your baby. This is your only chance to have those days with this baby. Once I realized “I am never going to do this again”, my whole mentality changed because I wanted to savor it.
SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! And postpartum updates. Thinking about you a lot as we move into the weekend. 🙂
Hang in there, mama! You still look amazing! I would say your spirits are still very good for being 41 weeks. 🙂
You have such a great attitude at a challenging time! My advice after having two kids is do what works in the moment, until it doesn’t work. With my first I lived in terror of the internet’s favorite thread “creating bad habits”. I agonized over every tiny decision (time to eat or time to sleep? swaddle or no swaddle?) because the internet had me convinced that if I rocked my 2 month old to sleep I would one day be stuck rocking a 35 year old man to sleep. I wish I could have just enjoyed those sweet moments rocking my baby because now he’s 3.5 and has no interest in me rocking him to sleep! With my second, I just accepted the baby was in charge and did whatever made him, and therefore ME, happy and I was much less stressed. Kids, especially babies, change so quickly, it’s ridiculous to be so convinced you can really set up any habits with a newborn. My third will be here in 2.5 weeks so I hope I can take my own advice! Hang in there, can’t wait to see your baby boy!
Having a baby will turn your life upside down (in a good way…but it’s not easy). My relationship completely changed. Having a solid foundation before baby was what I found to be most helpful because everything changes once the baby is born. I went through feelings of resentment and anger and at the same time feelings of complete joy and happiness. It’s up and down, most likely due to hormones, but also because your life is not your own anymore. It’s tough to navigate, but if your foundation is strong and you have open communication you can work through it.