It’s Friday night and I am cozied up on my grandmother’s couch with HGTV on in the background. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be after the events of this week. Mema and Finn are both sleeping and I’m settling in to write this post.
It was a hard week. It was a heavy week. It was a sad week. My heart is shattered into pieces over the school shooting in Uvalde and I can’t shake it. One friend lost her husband unexpectedly to a rare blood cancer leaving her a widow and their nine-month old daughter and three-year-old son without their dad. Another friend lost her 11-year-old daughter to rare sarcoma after a tumultuous two-year fight. And another friend is recovering from a double mastectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer.
I walked with Dorie one day just let the tears flow as we talked about all of it. I want to acknowledge and validate for all of us that living on planet earth these last few years has not been easy or simple. We are all dealing with things like the pandemic, political divisiveness and gun violence while also dealing with our own personal struggles. It’s a lot. Sometimes it’s really overwhelming. Sometimes it’s downright paralyzing. How do we keep going when we’re surrounded by so much hardship and loss?
For me, it’s continuing to focus on doing the next best/right thing and staying connected to the people that I love and the things that ground me. I know that I am not adding any good to the world if I go into a hole. It feels impossible sometimes to stay out of it but practicing gratitude, serving others and choosing to see the abundant blessings in my life helps tremendously.
The title of this post comes from an Instagram post that Dr. Becky Kennedy shared. It was a guide for when bad things happen and offered guidance for taking care of yourself so you can be a leader for your children. She reminded us that there’s no one “right” way to navigate these times and that it feels hard because it is hard.
This week has felt impossible, but I’ve also had moments of joy, peace and happiness. The ultimate practice of accepting and embracing paradox.
Here are a few of the blessings.
FINN FINISHES THREES
Finn finished his first year of preschool ever! His first year was cut short due to the start of the COVID and he didn’t go the following year due to the ongoing pandemic. He went to three days a week this year and absolutely thrived in the threes! He’s in a play-based preschool that feels like one big family and I can’t put a price on how grateful I am that I feel like he’s safe there.
Although I was hugging him extra hard with a heaviness in my heart during the last day celebrations. It’s hard to believe that we only have one year of preschool left (unless we redshirt him).
FLORIDA FAMILY TIME
We are in Florida for a long Memorial Day weekend and I’m excited to be here for a few reasons.
- It’s always wonderful to see my grandmother and Finn was ready for some Mema time!
- It’s our first visit since my parents have been home from Durham! The first time we’ve all been together in Florida since last June!
- Finn gets to meet FIVE KID COUSINS and other family that he’s never met! My dad’s sister’s family is all coming in tomorrow and Sunday so we’re having a mini family reunion! I’ll share more after the fact.
My mom is doing so well. She picked us up from the airport yesterday on her own. She spent the whole afternoon on the beach and at the pool with us today. Her energy is great and for the first time in over a year, it feels like we are having a “normal” Florida visit.
Think Finn’s overjoyed to be here? It’s hands-down our happy place. <3
WELCOME BEAU
My parents said goodbye to sweet Sam just a few days after arriving home to Florida after my mom’s double lung transplant. I can’t even begin to thank you guys enough for your loving comments about Sam’s passing. We miss him so, so much.
That said, my dad just needs a dog in the house and he’s always quickly gotten another dog after losing one. It’s absolutely nothing negating the former dogs importance. He’s just a dog person through and through and through and needs one close. My mom is also a true dog lover but could probably handle a little more space between dogs than my dad. It’s not right or wrong, just different ways of being and dealing.
Sooooo….welcome Beau.
My dad was researching golden rescues and somehow came across a breeder three hours away where the retired veterinarian owner had passed away and his children were rehoming the remaining puppies, moms and studs. My mom and dad went to meet two of the studs, Sam and Beau, and came home with Beau. Can you believe that one of the dogs was named Sam!? It would have been my parents third rescue golden named Sam in a row!
Beau turns five in June and is fitting right in with the fam. He’s got all of the best golden mannerisms and is kind of obsessed with Finn! We don’t know if he was really ever around kids but he is enamored by Finn, and Finn with Beau. Finn calls him “Mr. Beau” and it’s so cute.
LOKAH SAMASTAH SUKHINO BHAVANTU
As always, thank you for being here. I’m saying a prayer for all of us tonight. Here’s the prayer I shared with my yoga classes all week last week.
May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all
Very much looking forward to a few more days at the beach and the arrival of more family tomorrow. <3
QUESTIONS
How is your heart?
What blessings are you grateful for right now?
How are you spending your Memorial Day weekend?
My heart is very heavy. Very frustrated. Very scared. With that, how odd to be grateful my son was out of school this week (dx with Covid, mild case)? He is only 7 and we kept the news away from him. He is a worrier and this would shatter his spirit.
Im grateful for him, his spirit and his live in the moment free spirit. I’m grateful for great friends to lean on, like your sweet Dorie.
My plans for the weekend are to recharge outdoors as much as possible.
Oh gosh, I’m so glad your dad and mom got another dog and are grieving / moving on in the way that feels right TO THEM!! I can always sense when a blogger is explaining something in detail because you just KNOW if you didn’t over explain, negative nancys are going to comment on it … doesn’t matter how quickly they got a new dog, all that matters is that it works for their hearts and family. <3 congrats, beau is gorgeous!
As a non American I have such a hard time understanding all these shootings that take place in the USA … perhaps I am ignorant to them occurring in other countries at such frequency as well?? Or perhaps just population density?? In any case it’s completely awful …
What does “red shirt” mean? The US school system is different – where I Live kids go to kindergarten the year they turn 4 and there is zero negotiating or exceptions allowed. It seems like you guys can choose what grade your kid goes into?? Interesting!!
Jen, what a beautifully written post. Your words ring true with so much love and compassion. I am thrilled that you are in Florida and that your mom is doing so well! I love seeing your photos of Finn and your grandmother (oh and Beau) full of smiles. Sending you lots of love. Pam
Jen, I am so sorry for the loss of your friends’ husband and daughter.
I have also felt heartbroken along with extremely angry over the shooting in Uvalde. I just can’t stop thinking about the families of the victims and how no family should ever have to go through this.
Beau is so handsome and I love his name! It seems like he fits right in and is a great addition to the family.
I’m so glad you are able to spend this long weekend with your family. I hope you have a wonderful time in Florida with your family!
My heart is hurting. So much gun violence and so little concern from our legislators.
I’m grateful for those who care and get involved! I know its challenging to go beyond ourselves and families sometimes.
Hearing about Beau made me cry. So happy your parents have found another sweet soul to love. Still hurting so much from losing our Italian greyhound boy suddenly to cancer in January.
Spending a quiet Memorial Day thanking those who have fallen for their sacrifices.
Sounds like such a lovely weekend with your family in Florida. So glad your dad was able to adopt another golden. Did you ever post about your back issues and how your back is doing now? I’m dealing with some back problems right now and would love to hear about your experience.