Eight weeks with my sweet Finn.
He is absolutely the light of my life and has dramatically shifted my perspective on so many things…just like my dad told me he would. Funny how those parents really know what they’re talking about. 😉
THE FOURTH TRIMESTER: EIGHT WEEKS POSTPARTUM
Your questions!
I’ll start by answering a few questions that I received through Instagram.
- What surprised you the most about motherhood? Would you do it again? The thing that surprised me the most was much I loved someone I had just met and how quickly my mommy instincts kicked in. I was so overwhelmed when I was pregnant about how I would figure it all out but once he was here…I just did! I also can’t believe how strong that mama bear instinct is. And yes, I would 100% do it again.
- What’s been the biggest struggle with a newborn so far? The complete 180 on how I spent my time. It was SUPER tough for me to go from my very busy, very free daily life to basically a standstill with a newborn. I can confidently say that 8 weeks in that it has gotten SO much better! I’ve also fully embraced the slower pace of life…and to be honest there are many things about my “former life” that don’t feel so important anymore.
- Do you sleep train baby Finn? Not yet but I’m hoping to get him on a schedule-ish in the next few weeks. I’d mostly like to get a set bedtime and bedtime routine happening around here!
- What is the cutest thing Finn does? I love all the noises he makes when he’s feeding and how he grabs hold of my shirt with his hands. He also loves to be on his back and kick his legs. And I can’t get over all the smiling and cooing he’s doing these days!
- What other baby name were you considering before deciding on Finn? From January through early May, Finn was going to be named Gabriel and we were going to call him Gabe. I would say that was his “working name” through the latter half of my pregnancy but for some reason I could never FULLY get on board with it and to be honest…I had some negative associations with it because the last part of my pregnancy was emotionally difficult. I scoured thousands of baby names in the weeks before he was born looking for something fresh and kept coming back to Finn. It just seemed right. As a Jennifer, I wanted to name him something that was a little different and not super common but also not way out there. Finn was perfect! 🙂
What do we think? Does he look like a Finn?
Emotional well-being: I’ll dive deeper into this in my weekend recap post that will go live on Monday night.
Breastfeeding: I had a little hiccup last week when I felt like I all the sudden had an increase in my supply. I went from worrying that it was going down to feeling SO full and uncomfortable for a few days. I was leaking like crazy! I think it was a combination of Finn spacing out his feedings a bit + a possible growth spurt. We are back in a good groove again.
Sleep: it’s been hit or miss. We got in a REALLY good groove last time I was in Florida of only one wakeup per night and then when we came back to Charlotte he was up multiple times a night again to eat. He’s also become a little tougher to get down at night. This is why I’m thinking we need to get that routine and schedule going soon. My dream is to have one of those babies who has a set bedtime and sleeps for 12 hours a night (eventually!). We shall see. I’m trying not to get too attached to that dream.
Car purchase: most of you know that I’ve been in a car predicament for the last few months. I’ve been having problems with my car + it just wasn’t functional for two dogs and a baby. I REALLY wanted to try to make it a year with my car but it’s been acting up again the last couple of weeks. I had to bite the bullet and trade it in.
Fortunately, I have a friend who owns a car dealership. I had zero bandwidth to search for a car so he set me up with a very gently used small SUV that checked all the boxes for what I needed. I was SO not wanting to buy a car given all the other stuff I’m dealing with but I am grateful to now have something more reliable and functional. Car shopping is the worst ever.
Workouts/activity: usually working out is one of the ways that I deal with stress and anxiety but I have found in dealing with my current situation that I don’t have the energy for much more than walking. I’ve felt like my body has been under so much stress already that working out has felt like too much. I went for my second postpartum run on Friday and while it felt fine when I was doing it, the next day I thought to myself, “eh…I could take or leave that.”
I’m ready to get back into a better groove with my workouts but I’m also going to let my body and intuition lead the way.
Here’s what workouts looked like the last week:
Monday: 2.5 mile walk
Tuesday: REST
Wednesday: 1.5 mile walk
Thursday: 1.5 mile walk
Friday: 3 mile run + 30 minute beach walk
Saturday: yoga practice
Sunday: REST
Physical symptoms: I have a few new ones to report so I’m adding this back in this week. First, my face has started breaking out. Second, this is maybe TMI but postpartum body odor has been so much worse than ever before. I feel like no deodorant can stand up to it. It has to be hormones, right? Third, all that hair that I grew in pregnancy is already starting to shed…I knew this was coming!
QUESTIONS
When did you get your babies on a schedule? What resources did you use?
What surprised you the most about motherhood?
I am so glad you mentioned the BO! I never noticed a difference after my first 3 but my 4th son turned 1 month yesterday and I constantly feel like I’m putting on dekdorant….and it never lasting long. Its awful!
Jen,
Nothing much to say except that Finn is precious!
Sylvie
I love the name Finn. He looks like a Finn and I’m glad you chose the name. I see a lot of you in him. He is such an adorable little guy! You two are so connected!
He is so cute!!!! My 3rd just turned one and is by far the best sleeper of any of my kids (knock on wood!). We tried schedules, babywise, etc with my first 2 but this one I fed her when she was hungry, put her down when she seemed tired…..basically just followed her cues instead of trying to force her into a specific timeframe. So my only advice would be to use your instincts and pay attention to what Finn is trying to tell you. The first year goes so fast-he’ll be sleeping all night before you know it!!! You’re doing great, he looks happy and you look amazing.
I honestly can’t even remember what I did when it came to my daughters sleeping schedule, she is now 10 and everything from infant years is kind of a blur And now she fights me on waking up- Ha! I love the name Finn- you were spot on, it’s diffetent but not too out there. I named my daughter Cordelia because I felt the same, my name always seemed to plain, and I wanted something with a deeper meaning. I’m glad you are adjusting to everything, I was a single mom for years and looking back on it- I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, honestly! Also I don’t think I fully started working out again until almost 8 months- everyone is different and it takes time?
Hi Jen
The AAP (American academy of pediatrics) has great material on sleep for babies. Really, the AAP should be everyone’s go-to source of all stuff for babies and kids, because they are the pediatricians who live this stuff every day and care so deeply – the research,years of practice and expertise shows through. When I was a new mom all the “noise” and recommendations online made me feel dizzy, trying to choose what advice made sense or what I believed. I remember seeing so many guides about sleep schedules and awake time and sleep Windows and ahhh it made my head spin! Sticking with AAP guidelines and recommendations made me SO much calmer and more sure of things because this was all advice coming straight from the doctors! Highly recommend it – I tell all my new mom friends the same.
Maybe I only noticed this while reading because I’m a fellow Jen (and perhaps you’ve already noticed too), but Finn spelled backwards is “nnif” which is part of Jennifer. ❤️
Lady you are amazing, and so is Finn. He is an absolute doll. You are doing so well and even just walking a yoga is fantastic. I am glad you’re slowing down and enjoying the little things with him. Time is gonna fly and before you know it you’ll miss him sleeping on your chest and cuddling with you. That doesn’t take a decade to fade. Just a few months. As for the increase supply you’ll get small bursts of it anytime he grows and if you want store up start pumping any time you’re full and has sleeping or playing. That will be your saving grace. I hope his spit up is doing better. Also that you are getting at least some rest. You are doing amazing and he is lucky to have you. He is a darling little boy, and looking more like you every day. Keep up the good work.
My son honestly didn’t get on a “schedule” until closer to 11 months/a year. It just wasn’t going to work sooner than that, but once I was able to get him down in that crib, we were good and in a routine with an early bedtime and he slept basically 11 hours before waking up to nurse! Also, during my divorce, I couldn’t do more than walk most of the time but walking felt so good for the mind and body. Do what works, especially right now after having the baby. It all falls into place eventually.
Thank you for sharing this Meredith. I mostly just want him to have a good, consistent bedtime routine. We’ll see how it goes. And yes, walking is just the kindest, gentlest way to move right now. <3
I love his smile!!!
And there’s a scene in Handmaid’s Tale when Aunt Lydia tells Offred “You are musty. Take an extra bath tonight.” I have felt the same – there must be something hormonal because for a while I was doing extra deodorant applications as well!
Haha! Love this!
I’ve read your blog since the early days and only commented a few times, but I’ve really loved all of your pregnancy/baby updates- esp since I have a 15 week old 🙂 You look AMAZING though. Such an inspiration to me.
As far as sleeping, you just have to find something that works for you. Every baby is different, my kids THRIVE off of schedules and we love Mom’s on Call, that being said it really depends on you/baby. Follow your gut.
Emily – thank you so much for reading! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve enjoyed the pregnancy/baby content and CONGRATS on your little one!
I have been going with my intuition so far and it’s served me well. Thanks for the reminder to stick with that.
I received the book Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child at my baby shower and it was amazing. I didn’t read it cover to cover at read the beginning and then just before my daughter was reaching a new stage, I’d read that chapter. I think it’s broken down in 3 month increments at first. The most important thing is keeping bedtime and naps consistent. That’s hard if you want to be out and about during the day, especially when they’re babies and have two naps, but it pays off. My daughter – now 15 years old, has always been a great sleeper.
Thank you! Yes, I mostly just want to get a consistent bedtime routine going and get to a place where we can kind of anticipate when naps will be. I’m less concerned about the actual sleeping through the night, although that would be a bonus! I just want him to have a good routine!
Hi Jen. It is warming to see how much motherly love you have for Finn. And your intuition is strong; my advice is to keep listening to your heart when it comes to caring for Finn. Motherhood makes you mentally tough and emotionally soft. The sleep for mom is tough in the first year (really maybe more than that, but certainly so in the first year). But it does develop naturally, without letting a baby cry themselves to sleep. I do think that bedtime routines are healthy, but not ridgid sleep training.
I have three children and have not done any sleep training. I was woken at night with each baby and a lot of days that meant I need to take time to rest during one of the nap times. Sleep is important but it is normal development for that to be broken for a while. I understand the desire to have a baby that allows you to get uninterrupted night sleep, but that is not really normal infant sleep.
Peace be with you.
Thank you so much for this lovely comment Elisha. I definitely resonate more with routines and more nurturing/intuition than I do strict schedules or “training.” Thank you for all of the wonderful reminders on their sleep development as well as taking care of yourself by resting during the day. <3
Just here to say Finn is the perfect name for him, it totally fits, you are ROCKING the motherhood thing (from a non-mother’s perspective, at least!) and… that pic of Finn in his bath towel is doing a number on my ovaries!!! 😉 🙂
Thank you so, so very much for your kind words Nicki. <3
I definitely had the increased BO when my daughter was born. It was awful. She’s 13 weeks now and I’m back to normal on that front. I want to say it got better around week 9 or 10!
This is wonderful to hear!
Yes to the body odor!! After I started breastfeeding I noticed it right away! Lovely side effect from those hormones! Finn is adorable!!!!
Whew! Glad I’m not alone…although sorry that others are dealing with this too!
I think he looks like a FInn! But maybe that’s because I’m so used to seeing him as Finn on the blog 🙂 Even at 14 weeks, sleep is touch and go with Cam. Some nights are great and she sleeps through and others she’s up 2-3 times!
Thanks for sharing this! It’s reassuring (although I’m sorry you have to get up some nights 2-3 times!)
At this age, I wouldn’t call anything a schedule so much as a routine, if that makes sense. Around two months is when we started a bedtime routine. We first tried to kind of seeing when baby was usually going to sleep, and aimed for that as “bedtime.” Ours started at 9 PM. Around 8:20(ish) we would do a bath, then put on pajamas and have a bedtime bottle (I was nursing but would actually do the final nursing session before starting this routine, and then the bottle was kind of a “top off”), read a couple of bedtime stories, and then rock to sleep. Then as needed we would move bedtime up 15-20 minutes every few days until we arrived at a bedtime of 7:30. Baby just turned one last month and we still have the exact same routine! I think it’s helpful for mom and kiddo to at least have a routine to wind down with at the end of the day.
Yes, that makes total sense and I’d really just like to start establishing some routines with him. The way that you worked towards your bedtime seems so smart and intuitive. Thank you for sharing that!!!
These are such cute pictures! I don’t have children, but I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to run during stressful times. So many people find running to be a helpful way to deal with stress/anxiety, but I find it difficult to do anything but listen to music while running and sometimes that’s too much time alone with my thoughts. For me with walking (or pool running) it’s easier to zone out with a podcast or audiobook and then if I want something more active I take a class. I listened to an NPR piece in which David Sedaris talked about how podcasts/audiobooks helped him deal with obsessive thoughts when he runs. Not sure if this is at all relevant to your life but I thought I’d share.
Thanks for sharing this Liz. I definitely find that listening to an audiobook or podcast when I’m running or walking helps channel my thoughts in a more productive/positive way than if I let my mind run wild.
I also had issues with bad BO for the first couple of months. I’m 4.5 mpp now and I don’t notice it anymore so it does get better!
I love the name Finn! It really fits him!
So our son is 4.5 months old and he is still not on a schedule… I went to a new mom class led by a NP/LC that works in family medicine and she said it’s rare/difficult to get them on a schedule before 6-9 months. It kind of drives me crazy but it’s something this type A mom has had to accept. He will start daycare next Monday and I think that will help get us on a bit of a schedule as he will have to get up at the same time every day. But his nap lengths vary so much during the day so that prevents us from really getting on a schedule. At daycare they won’t put him on a nap schedule until 9 months – up until then he will nap when he needs to (after the age-appropriate amount of awake time). Some may comment and say they got their babies on a schedule early but I just wanted to share my experience in case Finn doesn’t get on a schedule. It’s nothing you or Finn are doing wrong if that happens! 🙂
So great to hear that it got better for you!
Thanks for sharing that you’re still not on much of a schedule. That is actually SUPER helpful. I think it works differently for every parent and baby. This is why I’m trying to focus on routines right now and not get too attached to following any set schedule. Hopefully it will all fall into place if I’m consistent with it. We shall see! That is SO interesting about daycare and nap schedules.
I think I didn’t start until like 8-10 weeks to make any efforts to put my babies on a schedule. I do remember the best resource I used was Baby Whisperer’s EASY method. That is: Eat, Activity, Sleep, You Time (ha). It wasn’t a time based schedule but it helped me to start a schedule and then after we were doing it and he got older, the time schedule just kind of happened naturally. Google it if you’re interested, or pick up the book. Sounds like you’re already on your way!
Thank you! Yes, I’ve been trying to start paying attention to eat, play, sleep and it’s a little all over the place now but hopefully it will improve. I like that Y in there for You Time! 🙂
Finn is very cute 🙂
Thanks much!
I am not pregnant/have not been pregnant but my body odor is always really intense around the time of my periods, so it must be hormones!
I think so!
I started he “eat wake sleep” schedule at 2 months and it was really hard bc they are still all over the place but in a few days she was taking actual naps in her room and was waking two times a night to breastfeed. At 4 months I did a modified cry it out and after a day she was sleeping 12 hours straight and taking two naps a day at the same time! It was like a new life lol
Thank you for sharing this Jillian! We’ve been trying eat, play, sleep too and it’s been all over the place. You give me some hope! 🙂
In regards to a schedule… All 3 of my babies have been on a great schedule by about 12 weeks. My youngest is 10 months and she goes down about 6:45 and sleeps til about 6:30 am. It is amazing. I promise if you just start the routine, let them cry a little longer each night they wake up you will be there so soon! I feel like after 12 weeks they totally know how to “play” you in the middle of the night wake ups 😉
mine love bathtime, pjs, books, feeding then straight into the crib. That is our routine!
Thank you so much for the insight! And yes, I am totally looking to start a good bedtime routine! 🙂
No, babies don’t know how to play you. They are not manipulating to feed them in the middle of the night. They need love and cuddles and warm mommy (or daddy or grandma or whoever) to hold them and help them become secure individuals.
My nephew is Finn 🙂 and I am clearly also a Jennifer, so I feel you on the “not weird but also not top 10 popular” name thing. My kids names are not weird in the slightest but they aren’t common either.
I have 3 kids (7, 5 & 2), and I had them all sleeping a reliable 11-12 hours straight through the night by 8 months with varying degrees of difficulty 🙂 My oldest kind of got her there by herself, the younger two required some gentle sleep training. Consistent schedules, white noise & pacifiers helped. And I just had to mentally reach the point where I was comfortable with the fact that there was no biological need for them to eat every 2-3 hours at night anymore. Solid sleep isn’t just good for us, it’s super important for them too!
Thank you for these tips and your insight. And yes, it takes some deprogramming for mom too with the feeding! 🙂
Hey JeNNIFer – look at that, Finn has been a part of you all along!
As far as scheduling, eat play sleep is a good rhythm to get into in the early months. I found it most helpful to observe what my daughter’s natural periods of wakefulness (and it may not even be an hour at this age) were because once they’re cranky, you’ve missed that ideal sleep window. 7pm-7am worked as a good “night time” window for us and she dropped night feedings as she got bigger until she was sleeping through and continues to do so at 19 months.
Definitely get a bedtime routine going but know that it’ll change as baby grows. Having a short nap routine is helpful too. It may just be nurse and read a book or sing a lullaby in the dark room, but it signals to baby that it’s time for sleep.
Baby sleep is a wild ride. Once you think you have it figured out, they go and change again. Good luck! ☺️
AW! I never noticed that! 🙂
I’ve been trying to eat, play, sleep during the day. It’s going okay but seems to be a bit all over the place. And YES, I hear you on cranky and missing the window. I’m really trying to work to avoid that and learn his cues better.
The bedtime routine is really what I want to start to establish so that he knows when it’s time to settle down for the night. I’ll work on being consistent with it and see where it takes us! And yes, I’m trying not to get too attached to anything as it all seems to change…daily!
You’re not alone! My body odor was absolutely TERRIBLE after having my boys! It will get better though 🙂
I’m sorry you dealt with this too but glad I’m not alone!
Good for you for letting intuition lead your workouts! I’m 6 months pp and didn’t do much more than walks and very light body weight workouts till about 4 months pp and I’m grateful I took the time to honor my body and all it went through. I feel much stronger and way more ready now. You’re only 8 weeks in, but you’re an inspirational mama to me and many others I’m sure ❤️
Thanks so much for the encouragement Valerie. I feel like it’s a whole new body/life/me PP and I’m just trying to honor that.
I’ve been using the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, but it can be a bit cumbersome at times, so I do a lot of internet searching. The one thing I’ve noticed for sleep is that it just seems to keep changing. My daughter (now 4 months) was doing good with waking once a night and then went back up to 2-3 times, then she went through (I think) the 4 month sleep regression and was up like a newborn, harder to settle in the middle of the night (luckily for us it lasted about 4 nights).
We don’t have much of a bedtime routine. We bathe her every 2-3 days at night, then change for bed, nurse, and I try to put her down awake but drowsy (and then run back in the room to re-insert her pacifier 10xs or otherwise soothe her lol). I watch for her to look like she’s starting to get sleepy between 7-8pm (more spaced out, droopy eyes, etc) and then get her started on the nightly routine if I’m not bathing her (also for naps). Also, like you mention for yourself, the white noise comes on via box fan, and the lights go out.
Another nap thing that helped me was looking for her to be drowsy at certain intervals of being awake based on age. Right now it’s 90 mintues-2 hours, but at 8-9 weeks I think it’s more like 45 minutes-1 hours (could be wrong). When she starts to look drowsy, I start to try and help her settle.
I’m glad you were able to get away again to Florida! Having help from those that you’re close with makes all the difference. You’re doing great 🙂
Thank you for sharing this great insight. I have learned already that just when you think you have something figured out…it changes!!! 🙂
I have tried to be better during the day about not letting him stay awake for so long and trying to get him down “happy drowsy” versus overtired and fighting sleep!
Hey Jen, not sure if anyone has suggested it yet or not but I highly recommend getting the Wonder Weeks baby app. It gives you an insight into their mental developments and what to expect during certain leaps. It has helped me better understand why my son might not be sleeping at night or why he’s super fussy. Plus it’s cool to see what skills they’ll be mastering during that time frame!
Yes, I have it and love it so much!
I second the Wonder Weeks app – helps understand the developmental changes that are happening (we literally finished one of the big ones, Leap 4, today haha!)! My little Patricia is just over 4 months old – for sleeping we really found that the bedtime routine was key. We started early with a song / bath / lotion / book / bottle / bed routine, and now as soon as we start to sing ‘you are my sunshine’, she knows it’s bedtime! We start at 630 and she is asleep by 715 consistently – all I can say is be consistent and it gets a little bit easier every day. I also stick to a consistent wake up time of 7 AM – sometimes she is awake and sometimes she isn’t, but we get up and have our bottle at that time every day. Every baby is different but around 3 to 4 months is when routine is really critical apparently – sets them (and you) up for success.
I have the app and I love it! It’s super interesting information to read and great to get an inside scoop on their mental development.
Yes, I want to do a routine like that just to get Finn in the bedtime kind of zone. I will definitely work on being consistent with it.
Finn is just so so cute!! Finn was always on my name list … but we have ended up with 3girls (and I pray the twin brothers my 5 yo wished for on a lucky penny yesterday never happen ?. )
Sleep training is tough – yes to the routine vs schedule , be flexible, encourage good daytime sleep. We did cry it out at 4mos. The only way I felt OK doing CIO (and CIO is def not for every child or parent!) was by giving an 11pm ‘dream feed’ – good time also to pump and do a bottle feeding! Then when let them fuss it out if they woke btwn dream feed and 5:30am. I know it’s controversial I didn’t sleep train my oldest, but after a week my younger girls were doing well at night and napping and eating better during the day, if I could go back in time id totally sleep train my oldest haha!
Aw, I love that Finn was on your list and I love that you have three girls! How sweet! HAHA to the twin brothers. That’s a great story.
I am totally more on team “routine” than strict schedule. Thanks for sharing your experience with sleep training!
Finn is so cute! I used the schedule in the book “Moms on Call” and it worked very well. It lays everything out very simply and directly, making it easy to follow.
I have that book! It is easy to follow!
We got our now 4 month old on a bedtime schedule when he was around 2 months. We took an infant massage class (we’re in Charlotte – we took the class at CMC!) and began to incorporate that every night. Noah’s bedtime routine is Massage or Bath/nurse/book/bed. I really think the infant massage helps with his sleep!
I want to take that class!!! I would love to incorporate that into our evening routine!
All my attempts to schedule my son totally flopped, so I have no advice there! Also my son was a sleep training failure (we tried many different methods, around 4-5 months). Sleep training made his sleep so much worse (I know it can work wonders for some babies, just not in our case). He just didn’t want to do anything until he was ready.
I’m a major planner/organizer and one of the things that was hardest for me to deal with was the lack of control we sometimes have in parenthood. My husband is much more go with the flow but I found myself caught up in what I should be doing, what my son should be doing, and then getting upset when things didn’t go to plan…and it just ended up making me miserable. This is something I still struggle with; we are potty training and I just have to keep reminding myself that it will happen in good time and not necessarily when I demand it be so.
Hey Laurel – thank you for the very honest comment! I’m also someone who likes to feel some level of control and I am also quickly learning that it doesn’t quite work that way with children!
Love your life journey.
I have three boys, almost 14, 11 and 9. My oldest and youngest did not get on any kind of nap schedule until 10 months. It was hard. And they both were not good about sleep through the night until about 10 months. My middle son was a 5 hour mapper. Problem was it was had to get out of the house. He slept 12 hours at night at about 8 weeks. He is also my sweet, quiet, under the radar, give you the shirt off his back kid. The oldest and youngest are loud, in your face, I know it all kind of kids. I have gotten very used to always feeling exhausted. Enjoy every second because it all goes by so fast.
Thank you for following along with it. <3 How special that you have three boys. I love that. It’s so interesting how they’re all so different. And I am trying to soak up every moment. It’s already going too quickly.
De-lurking to write that I think you are awesome, truly, and Finn is just so darn cute. Sending you positive thoughts and vibes from the Midwest.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the support. <3
I haven’t read all of the comments, so someone else might have already said this and it may be cheesy…but I love how Finn has a part of your name, backwards. He’s a little part of you and he carries your name! 🙂 I know that we’ve never met, but I’ve followed your journey for many years now (maybe 8ish?? since Bakin’ N Eggs) and I’ve been praying for you often on this new journey as a mom. Being a new mom is really hard, and you’re doing such an incredible job. I’m glad you’ve gotten to be with your family so much. Keep pressing on, momma.