I’m writing my four weeks postpartum update from the airport while babywearing Finn. I’ve watched many YouTube videos in the last few days on everything from placing the infant insert in the Ergo to collapsing the BOB Stroller to installing the carseat in the car using the seatbelt for our ride to the airport.
Before I had Finn I wondered how I would learn all of this stuff…and I now know that you just figure it out! It’s not always pretty…like yesterday when Finn was wailing and wouldn’t let me put him down long enough to actually figure out the Ergo…but you get it done. Mom-level determination and empowerment is something else. My current life motto is, “we will figure it out.”
edited to add…I wrote the intro of this post at the airport and then Finn woke up and it was GAME ON to make it to Florida. That took all of my focus. I’m resuming the writing of this post in bed at 11 p.m. and he is finally sleeping after fighting it all evening.
FOURTH TRIMESTER: FOUR WEEKS POSTPARTUM
WE MADE IT FOUR WEEKS! It seems like our first major milestone. It hasn’t always been pretty but we did it.
Body changes: I’m about 2 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight but the distribution of it is so different and many of my pre-pregnancy clothes (mostly jeans/shorts/fitted things) still don’t fit. I’ve packed away most of my bras because those are definitely not fitting these days. Overall, feeling good in my body.
Maternity clothes: on the topic of body changes, I packed up almost all of my maternity clothes and it was a bittersweet moment. I really loved being pregnant and I miss the bump sometimes! I just thought it was the coolest thing to grow Finn inside of me and I loved those final months when I could feel him move so much.
Breastfeeding: this is another area where I feel proud of us for making it four weeks! I’m still feeding on demand and sometimes he goes 2-4 hour stretches and sometimes I feel like all he wants to do is nurse. He’s spitting up a good bit but the pediatrician assured me that since he’s gaining weight and doesn’t seem to be in distress about it, that I need not worry.
Sleep: is finally improving. I hate to talk about it because I fear I will jinx it but for the last week he has given me at least one 4+ hour stretch at night. It’s usually from 11-3 or 4. Several times it’s been the later stretch from 4 to 8 a.m. or so. A couple stretches have even gone close to five. Again, the pediatrician said that since he’s gaining weight, let him sleep! I am really trying not to get to attached to the idea that he’s going to keep sleeping like this but it’s been really nice.
Symptoms/recovery:
- Night sweats. I think I’ve made it through the worst of them! I’m not longer soaking the sheets or having to change my clothes.
- Bleeding. It’s continuing to improve but I still have days with spotting. I am REALLY ready to say sayonara to pads.
- Pain relief. I was able to stop taking Ibuprofen again during week four.
- C-section recovery: To continue on the pain relief bullet…while week three postpartum brought back some pretty intense pain, week four brought relief about midway through. The pain lasted about a week mid week three through mid week four and left as quickly as it started. There was one night during week four that I had to hold a heating pad on my belly as I sat on the couch at the end of the day. I’m SO grateful to finally be feeling better and to have that intense soreness gone. My incision is looking good but the area above it is really puffy and numb. I’m going to start looking into PT and scar massage soon.
- Appetite: Eh. It comes and it goes. I can’t say I’m eating the healthiest right now but I’m just eating what I’m able to get down. More on that in my recent eats recap later this week.
- Upper back/neck pain: Killing me. I went back to the chiropractor and that was so helpful. I wish I could go every day! I’ve started foam rolling my upper back and that helps. I’m also going to start some gentle yoga/stretch this week.
Emotional well-being: every day I feel more and more confident about my ability to care for Finn and to do this mom thing. I still find it overwhelming to negotiate ALL the feeds/burping/changing/soothing/rocking/bathing/holding/etc with things like personal care, getting computer work done, food prep and general household chores. This is why I was beyond grateful that my mom came to visit again this week. She’s such an incredible helper and able to jump in and do things without me ever even having to ask. She knows just when to sit with me and when to give me space, she’s a magic dish fairy, great with the dogs and so on top of laundry.
There are much deeper emotional challenges behind the scenes but I’m just not ready to talk about them yet. Please don’t mistake this for vague blogging but I also don’t want to ignore the elephant in the room. I’m having a tough time.
So while I am feeling overwhelmed at times and also emotional and sad, Finn brings a tremendous amount of joy and love to my life. I’m truly enjoying motherhood more and more with every day that passes and watching him change and grow daily is the best thing ever.
One month well child visit: Finn had his one month well child visit on the day he turned four weeks old. He weighed 9 pounds, 1 ounce. His birthweight was 7, 5 so the doctor was pleased with the gain. He’s also grown nearly an inch and a half in length. The craziest thing was that his head circumference was in the 96th percentile. My mom and I were scratching our heads over that as he doesn’t seem to have an abnormally large head??? Who knows! Maybe he’s just growing a big brain. 😉
I mentioned to the pediatrician that I thought he might be intentionally smiling at times. He told me that usually comes at 6-8 weeks but after he held him and examined him for a while, he said he was definitely socially smiling here and there. Sweet boy! I can’t wait until we get those really big smiles but I’ll take what we’re getting now!
Car seat check: my mom and I went to a local police station for a car seat check and it was amazing. They do weekly car seat check events and the police officer who helped us was incredible. He spent so much time showing us everything from installing the base to adjusting the seat in the base to adjusting Finn in the seat.
I learned so much about car seat safety and feel about 100x more confident in my car seat skills now. I can’t recommend attending one of these events enough if you are in the Charlotte area or if you have them in your own town.
The officer gave us a great hack of putting a pool noodle under the seat to help it stay in place. He said it helps on leather seats when the base is still too wiggly after being installed. I later practiced my installation skills by installing our second base in my moms car and I did it and I think my install rivals the police officers! 🙂 FYI – this is the car seat I have and I love it!
Speaking of cars…I still haven’t bought a new one. I only add that because I’ve had some people ask. Definitely needing something a little higher for the sake of my back and bigger for all the gear but we are making it work for now.
Workouts/activity: this was the first week where I could actually picture working out again. Prior to this week the idea of being ready for any type of activity at six weeks was laughable to me. Even though I’m starting to feel better, I still plan to take it all very slowly. This week will be some gentle yoga/stretching, next week some bodyweight and light strength mostly for my upper back pain and then we’ll add from there. I plan to do zero cardio other than walking until my bleeding completely stops. Speaking of walking, I’m doing that every day.
QUESTIONS
What was the first type of activity you introduced when you started back into workouts?
Did you find the end of pregnancy to be a bit bittersweet or were you like “see you later!” to your maternity clothes? Did you ever miss your bump?
Favorite stroller/car seat accessory? I ordered a stroller fan. Seems pretty necessary for summer in the south. Tell me what else is helpful!
Yay for one month! it’s a huge milestone, I remember it well 🙂 You are doing AMAZING. And just want to note that my jeans and things like that didn’t start to fit me until the 4 month mark and then after that, my body began to adjust back to normal without exercise and everything began to fit, look, and feel like it did before I was pregnant. I was however thrilled to be done with maternity clothes, I don’t think they were as nice back then as they are now! PS. I’m always here when you need me xoxox
Thank you so much. I’m really not rushing the body stuff and mostly find it so interesting how things change and heal. The body is amazing!
And thank you for the support. xx
You are doing such an amazing job! Love the updates!
Thank you Jodi!
I love these posts and how open you are! You are embracing motherhood beautifully. Both of my children also had large heads, and my husband and I would always joke that we’re just raising geniuses! 😉
Thank you so much Claire.
You are doing great and Finn is so so cute! The nursing gets a lot easier – I remember also feeling very victorious to make it 4 weeks, but gave myself the option of stopping whenever I felt like it was too much so that mentally I had an out (and ended up lasting 9).
First workout back was Flywheel and then I went back to HIIT/bootcamp shortly after that. Sadly, the one thing that I could not do without pain for a long time was running thanks to pelvic floor pain – wish I’d listened to my body a bit more on getting back to running.
Thank you Janine. I’m really planning to listen to my body as I return to physical activity other than walking and to take it slow and steady.
I definitely found the end of pregnancy to be bittersweet. I miss the wiggles and the belly like crazy! I also want to cry when putting away maternity clothes, and each size of baby clothes that they grow out of. Hope Florida is restorative for you!
Oh gosh, I’m already emotional about packing up the newborn clothes!
Hang in there, Jen! Like you said, you’ll figure it out – one day/hour/feeding/crying fit at a time. He’s lucky to have you for his mama. Have a wonderful time in Florida! ❤️
Thank you Diane. xx
Both my boys have good-sized heads, but at one of the check-ups, my older son, Connor, had a head that measured off the charts. Literally, he was 100%-plus percentile! Luckily, he’d always had a noggin in the 90-something percentile so he was tracking fine and since he wasn’t a small kid, he didn’t look like a bobblehead. The growth evened out, I’m happy to report. 🙂
Oh wow! This is so interesting and good to hear that it all evened out in the end! 🙂
You are doing an amazing job! The entry into motherhood is no joke, but it is so worth all the ups and downs. I had a c-section for #2 and 3, and it took a good two months before I could get back into my old clothes. I remember the swelling and soreness lasted much longer than I expected it to.
I wanted to encourage you with your emotional “elephant.” I am a firm believer that being aware of our emotional state is 99% of the battle. I had the worst postpartum anxiety after the birth of my son. I had heard gobs about postpartum depression, but not anxiety. I thought I was going crazy. After reaching out to friends, I realized that I was not alone in having that symptom. It was such a relief to find that out! Whatever your struggles are, just know that you are not alone.
Many blessings to you and your sweet family for the next month of milestones!
Thank you Blair! And yes, the swelling and soreness is really lingering so I’m being patient with that as I know it’s a major surgery to heal from.
And my elephant is more in regards to things that I’m dealing with in my relationship with Finn’s father but it’s certainly not helping how I’m feeling emotionally in the postpartum period so thank you for that encouragement. I do feel very supported in talking about how I feel with my friends, family and therapist. <3
I think you are killing this new motherhood gig, and hope that one day I can be as strong mentally (and physically…goodness gracious you should definitely be a model! I hope to one day–after figuring out the formula that works for me–be as strong and fit as you). I love your new motto; I am going to start practicing that as I work towards 2 under 2 and trying to balance CNM school (with a 4 hour commute to Charlotte 2x/week for clinicals this fall! Oh boy, not sure how I am going to manage).
My first activity back was walking and yoga. Never started back with any plyometrics, running, or high intensity; those just didn’t feel right for my body postpartum, and definitely don’t feel right to me during pregnancy. These days my goal is a daily walk and 3x/week strength (all your workouts!) and yoga 1-2x.
Kudos to you for going to have car seat inspected. Another display of your strength, smarts, and proactivity! If anyone else is unsure, and if there isn’t an official event near by, you can swing in to any fire dept at any time. Most police officers and deputies are car seat safety certified, but all fire depts are (I only know this fun fact because my husband is a FF).
Sending love and prayers to you and sweet Finn. You are doing amazing, and he is one lucky fellow.
Hi Catherine – thank you so much for the comment and for all of the kind words. I can’t even imagine 2 under 2 on top of being in school. YOU are superwoman.
I am totally going to listen to my body when it comes to returning back to physical exercise other than walking. And thanks for that note on the car seats. So good to know and so cool that your husband is a fire fighter!
I also had a c-section and honestly couldn’t work out for about 2-3 months, others than walking. C-sections are definitely no joke, and I did not want to push myself.
Also, my son Gavin is almost 4, and I miss being pregnant every.single.day. I was induced at 42 WEEKS, and was crying when I went in to the hospital because I loved being pregnant so much!
I can totally see how that is possible. Walking is the only thing I feel comfortable with at this point and I can’t even imagine doing anything high impact for a long time to come. My main hope with doing some gentle yoga and PT type strength work is that it will help my back. Not trying to turn them into a workout just yet!
rest, rest, rest. it is VERY easy to overdo it post cesarean – a hard lesson to learn. the swelling will start to go down soon but the numbness can take a while. also – ive had 2 unplanned caesareans – both were traumatic and heartbreaking. for me it exacerbated the already crazy emotions you exierience. it helps to talk to others who have been through it. i have 2 healthy boys but i will always mourn missing out on the experience of a vaginal delivery.
Thank you so much Erin, this is such a helpful reminder and I am still not doing anything more than walking. And thank you for validating the emotional side of c-sections. Not everyone understands that and it’s been comforting to know that I’m not alone.
I just had to comment on the head thing! My 6-week old’s head is in the 98% and I was shocked too because I don’t feel like his head looks big at all! So weird.
Glad we’re not alone!!! It’s so crazy!
You really are doing an incredible job- it may not feel like it but you are! You make it look like a breeze, too;) Finn is beyond precious – your new bestie and forever side kick. He seems so content and his smiles show it! He’s well connected to you already! Whatever is going on you know you have an unbelievable crew to support you and help you through it. We’ll be here if and when you’re ready to share. Hang in there.
Thank you so much Laura. It’s definitely not a breeze but we are doing it. I am so lucky to have him as my sidekick and I know we’ll figure this out together and I’m so grateful for my friends and family.
I think you are doing an amazing job at being a mom, Jen! I don’t have children so I can’t answer any questions or give advice, but I just wanted to comment and tell you that you’re in my thoughts right now and that this tough time will pass! Enjoy your time in Florida!!
Thank you so much Megan. I really appreciate the support. xx
Hi, new commenter here.
I also had an untraditional birth and currently (/will forever be) navigating untraditional family dynamics. My partner was physically present and emotionally absent for the duration of my pregnancy, birth, and my daughter’s infancy. It’s just the two of us now, and while I relish in that, I often have moments where I feel like my family does not look as it “should”. It has taken years for me to process and become comfortable with the shape of my family, but I know now, to my core, that it’s exactly as it is supposed to be.
Your instagram post, captioned “we are going to find our way in this world together, baby boy” brought tears to my eyes. When I met my daughter, she took my breath away, and your words encompass how I have felt about her and our relationship from the beginning. Almost 4 years in, it is still how I feel every day. Your boy is beautiful, and your family is beautiful. I know achingly well the pain and the joy that entangle into one another in situations like these, and I know how overwhelming that coexistence can be. It is hard, and you’ve got this. That little boy is your new best friend and you will be each other’s guiding lights. Thank you for sharing your life and your sweet baby with us. Sending you so much love and strength in your journey.
Hi Sarah, I can’t thank you enough for sharing these words and they brought me a lot of comfort. I will send you an email.
Jen, Sounds like you are doing great. Always remember to take care of yourself, so you can take care of Finn. Eat 6 small meals if you can not eat 3. You need the calories to make breast milk and heal. Don’t worry about those pants fitting yet, in due time. You are a great Mom.
This is great advice Lynn and even though I’m a “three square meals” kind of girl, it might be the best for me at this point in time!
I’m not due until August, but I think I’ll miss my maternity yoga pants! My maternity shorts have also been so amazing since the summer heat kicked in here in NOVA.
You mentioned soon after Finn’s birth that you had a really good lactation cookie recipe. Would you mind sharing? I’ve been em shopping around.
Hey Kate! August is just around the corner. So excited for you! 🙂 A friend made the cookies and I’m not sure what recipe she used. Let me see if I can track it down and I’ll post it.
Just saw this. Thank you! And can you even believe Finn is already a month old!? Your Florida trip looks like it was just what the doctor ordered.
Much appreciated if you are able to get the recipe!
Jen- I am in awe of how well you are handling all of this! I just had my second and did not handle it nearly as well! It will only get easier from here! Finn is beyond lucky to have such a wonderful mama!
Oh thank you, it is a lot but we’re just taking it one day at a time. <3
Thank you for sharing your motherhood journey with us. Your’e doing great! Finn is so cute.
I am loving all the adorable Finn pictures, and the pictures of you both! Thank you for sharing this time with us internet readers. You are strong and doing awesome! Enjoy the time in Florida!
Can I just say how impressed I am that you’re knocking out detailed blog posts several times a week? I honestly find it reassuring and it gives me hope. As we prepare to welcome our first babies this summer, everyone wants to tell me how busy/exhausted I’ll be and won’t have a second to myself. I fully anticipate life to change in unimaginable ways, but it’s nice to see a new Mom who seems to be making it all work (even if it doesn’t feel like it to you!)
I love these updates. Your love for Finn just shines and it is evident he is lucky boy! I am sorry you are having a tough time, and it requires no further explanation, however I hope that things get a little easier for you day by day.
Love this post and you are doing great! I started back into my normal running and HIIT workouts once I was cleared by the Doc at 6 wks pp, but just really listened to my body and only did what felt right. You’ll know 🙂 I think I was more on the side of “peace out pregnancy!” Haha.. I was just ready to get back to my normal self. With that said, little did I know that my new ‘normal’ would be so different. I struggled very much with my new life. This had nothing to with how much I love my sweet boy, it was more about me struggling with mourning the loss of my old life. Once I stopped doing that, I was able to move forward and start embracing the moments with my son. Whatever is going on in your world, I wish you strength and positivity. Finn is lucky to have you and y’all will be fine!!
I just delivered my second daughter about a month ago and have always felt that we women need to be more honest and supportive with each other when it comes to pregnancy, delivery, and nursing. Thank you for sharing such honest words about your postpartum experiences. And congratulations making it 4 weeks nursing! With my first daughter I couldn’t make it over a week and my second not over three. It is SO. HARD. As others have mentioned previously, give yourself grace as you keep learning together with your boy! I’ve found that parenthood is all about flexibility. We moms are no longer in charge of our schedules or lives… we are at the complete mercy of these little ones that now hold part of us in them… and we just roll with it!! ?
Just chiming in to say how much I just have loved your blog over the past year. Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us. You’re doing an amazing job and Finn is precious!
For working out afrer my first 2 pregnancies I eased back into working out with long walks and eventually back into HIIT workouts. Running was incredibly tough to get back into both times 🙁 just felt so off. This time I had an emergency hysterectomy with number 3 and a vaginal birth so thinking recovery will be extra long. Just trying to listen to my body. Xo
Finn is just the cutiest thing, I miss those baby snuggles and little noises they make <3
The stroller fan is a must!! I recently got one for our runs since it's so hot here even in the mornings and it is perfect! Although my baby (who's going to be 1 next week, eek!) tends to play with the foam blades more then letting it cool him off haha. I also got this Secure a Toy strap from Amazon that allows you to snap toys on one end and the other end snaps around the stroller bar or the highchair bar. It's nice b/c he can play with his toys while we run and if he throws them they wont land on the ground… we are in the throw everything phase.
You’re doing a great job! Finn is adorable. I love your current motto – as you’ve found, there is no instruction manual on parenting (despite all the books that claim to dispense such advice). My boys are now almost 2 and 4 and I’m still just figuring it out on a daily basis.
With #1, I walked daily until I was cleared at my 6 week postpartum appt and then started running gradually, and then added in strength training. Realized pretty quickly that wasn’t such a good idea. So with #2 I again walked daily, but then first added in strength training at 6 weeks, and then started adding in some short run intervals to my walks at around 8 weeks PP. Took a couple months before I was running 3 miles nonstop (it was also the summer in SC, so the heat made it easy to go more slowly). Much better outcome.
I was definitely ready to be done with pregnancy and my maternity clothes after each boy was born, but I have to say I did (and even still do) sometimes miss the early morning walks I went on daily in the last couple months of each pregnancy, when I would narrate our walks to the baby. Felt so special to share those moments together, knowing it wouldn’t be long before the baby was on the outside and truly his own person.
Sending hugs. xoxo
it;s been ages since I had any kids but that stroller fan looks like it could work on my golf cart
rest rest after C-sections, I had two ,
there’s no rush, you have the rest of your life,
Just wait until you can start running and pushing him while doing so! Whew. It is a game changer! I always thought I was in shape until I started running with Jackson. You are doing great and I appreciate you taking the time to let your body heal. There will be plenty of days ahead to get back into the gym!
Sending virtual hugs & lots of positive thoughts & prayers your way. I was a single mom from the time my daughter was 2 – 10 & now we’re full circle as I’m single again this summer before she leaves for college. We are spending a lot of really good quality time together, & I’m so grateful for this time together. Being a single mom wasn’t easy (& I can’t imagine treading those waters w/ a newborn!), but looking back, those were also really good years. Hang in there! You’re doing great! Lean on your wonderful friends. Enjoy your time w/ your family in FL. XO