This is the first of a couple of posts that I’m going to write about healing from a c-section. This one is more focused on the mental/emotional side and the second will be all about what you physically go through after a c-section.
I am three weeks out from my c-section and it’s been quite the experience – everything from the surgery itself to the recovery from it. Even though I was familiar with c-sections (I’m a c-section baby! My mom had one with me and my brother.), had watched a video about them in my childbirth class and have friends who had them, I was in NO way prepared for what it would actually be like and how I would feel.
I did a lot of preparation for childbirth. I read books, listened to hundreds of birth stories (of every type of delivery from med/intervention free to inductions to home births to epidurals to c-sections and more), talked to other moms about birth and hired a doula. I felt pretty comfortable and knowledgeable but of course there was still that element of unknown…I’d never given birth before! I had received so much advice to go into the process with an open mind and I did…to an extent. I completed a birth plan and while I was pretty clear that I didn’t want narcotic pain relievers in my birth process (I didn’t want to feel sick or loopy), I was open to the possibility of an epidural and I’m glad I ended up getting one.
Given all of my preparation, I was so surprised to find myself absolutely terrified at moments throughout the birth process, especially when I was laboring so intensely without an epidural. A friend of mine who has had four babies with epidurals described her epidural births as “really peaceful” and I didn’t understand that until I went through the experience myself. I had never felt so out of my body in my life and the epidural helped me to calm down and stay present through the process.
What I honestly wasn’t prepared for was the possibility for a c-section. For some reason, I just blocked it out of my mind. It seemed like EVERYONE made comments to me, “oh you’re so fit, it will be no problem” or “you’ll have such an easy birth.” Even my doctor told me he thought I’d have an easy vaginal delivery. I remember watching that c-section video in our childbirth class and making a comment to Tanner that I wanted to do everything in my power to avoid one.
This is why when the word c-section started to come up during my 16-hour labor, I was immediately filled with fear and sadness. The first time it came up when Finn was in distress, I remember lying in the bed with the oxygen mask on, holding my mom’s hand and crying. I so desperately had my heart set on a vaginal birth. First, I so wanted the experience of pushing my baby out of me. Second, I knew that c-sections were major abdominal surgery and I didn’t want to go through that.
As I wrote in my birth story, things calmed down quite a bit after that initial scare and I labored for hours and hours and progressed on my own without any more mention of c-section and Finn seemed to have stabilized and was pretty content. I started to believe that the vaginal birth I wanted could happen.
That’s why when Finn started to have decels again and the small bit of pitocin did NOT work to quickly get me to 10 so that I could push, I was so heartbroken. I knew it was a possibility but I was praying it wouldn’t happen. The next thing I knew, my room was filled with medical professionals and we were on our way to a c-section.
It all still seems surreal.
My doula came to visit me in the hospital early the next morning and we talked through everything that happened the day before. I tearfully asked her if there was anything I did that caused the c-section and she reassured me that there was nothing I have done differently and that was just the way Finn was supposed to be born.
My doctor even told me in the OR that he’d done everything he could to make a vaginal birth after a cesarean a possibility for me should I decide to have more children and said there was no reason why my body couldn’t deliver vaginally.
I was surprised by how hard it was for me to come to terms with my c-section. I couldn’t talk about Finn’s birth without crying for the first couple of weeks. While I felt fully held and supported by my medical team and loved by my support people, the experience was still somewhat traumatic.
I feel like new moms are barraged with, “You and baby are healthy, you should be happy/grateful/insert positive word here.” I think it’s okay, not only okay but NORMAL, to have conflicting emotions about your birth experience. No one else can tell you how you should feel about your birth. Of course I am BEYOND grateful that I am healthy, Finn is healthy and that I gave birth in a hospital where everything was available to keep us safe. But I need time to be sad too.
I don’t think that having a cesarean birth makes you any “less” of a woman/mom/etc but I do think it’s okay to feel like you missed out on something. I was brought to tears by how many other moms commented on my birth story called me a “warrior.” I wept when I read those words of love and support.
We are all warriors. Bringing new life into the world is no joke and I have told anyone who will listen that there is absolutely nothing that could have adequately prepared me for the experience of childbirth. Everything from the physicality of it to the emotions of it were like nothing I have ever experienced in my life.
A reader sent these words to me after I shared my birth story. They brought so much comfort to me (and so many tears…childbirth comes with allllll the tears) and it’s my hope that they help someone else too.
This son of yours will change your life, and you wrote a story together over the last 9 months. You loved that boy into existence, and you are holding the fruits of your labor now.
Look what your body did. Look what your heart did. I’m so happy you were supported during your labor, and I’m sorry if there was even a moment that you weren’t. I’m so happy you had doctors and nurses you trusted, and I’m sorry if there was even a moment that you felt out of control. I’m so happy you made it through your labor and delivery, and I’m sorry if there was even a moment that it didn’t go as planned. I’m so happy your son made it through his labor and delivery, and I’m sorry if there was even a moment that you worried he wouldn’t. I’m so happy that he is loved by your friends and family, and I’m sorry if there is even a moment they don’t see you, too. Because we all want to be seen, especially when we are shaken.
Recovery, physically and mentally, is not easy. The physical will come long before the mental for you. Let others help heal you. Let them know that your heart hurts. This is not something to shy away from; it is something to be honored. I see you and your story, and I know that your heart will heal. One day you will run your fingers across your scar and be in awe of yourself, which is as it should be.
I think that it’s super important to talk about our birth stories just like it’s important to talk and process all the hard things we endure in life. I’m only three weeks out and every day I feel stronger and more grounded about my experience but I know that it will take time to fully heal this scar, in every sense of the word.
Thank you for holding the space for me to do that here.
Thank you so much for this post. Your words described absolutely everything I’m feeling and have felt in the past 4 weeks since my emergency c section. Looking forward to the rest of your post about recovery.
You are so welcome. I’m sorry you went through a similar experience but you are not alone. I hope you are healing well and sending love to you and baby.
Thank you for sharing your story. I completely agree that it’s okay to feel sadness and that birth stories should be talked about.
You are so welcome. Thank you for the comment.
I knew I was headed for a C-section from about week 26 on (I had twins, and Baby A was frank breech with no more room to turn), so the fact of the C-section itself was expected. However, delivering just past 34 weeks because I was very ill and then having a major hemorrhage just after delivery were both unexpected and left me physically unable to interact much with my babies in the first two days after they were born and unable to breastfeed. So although our stories are pretty dissimilar in the particulars, I know how it feels to have a birth experience that wasn’t ideal or what was expected.
You are right that the most important thing is that you are both healthy, but you’re also right that feeling sad is perfectly normal, too. I could hardly think of my birth experience without feeling very emotional (mostly negatively) for at least a year afterwards, and it wasn’t until my sons’ third birthday that I was able to focus only on the positive aspects of their arrival and not on my own difficult delivery.
Oh wow Sharon. I just cannot imagine what you went through. Thank you for sharing and for being candid about what the recovery process was like for you on an emotional level.
Hi! I wish I knew you in real life. I had a similar experience with my twins. I’m still struggling and it’s been 19 months. Knowing it eventually changed for you gives me hope. I’m getting help though and speaking the truth when appropriate. That’s helping.
I love those kind words someone shared with you. That was so beautifully written. Jen thanks for always having appreation to feel both sides of emotions. Sometimes we feel we should have only one side of emotions because we know we’re lucky to be healthy, greatful and everything else. But I think the conflicting emotions are the ones that make us actually feel and it’s okay to feel them. Love reading your blog. It’s thearpy for me. Happy you and Fin are doing well.
Yes, they were such a blessing to receive. My therapist has taught me SO MUCH about being able to hold things in paradox. It’s a tough practice but one that truly helps you heal and see things more clearly.
Jen, I love your honesty and I appreciate your sharing so much of your heart with your readers.
Thank you Sarah. <3
I’ve had 3 c-sections ? and have received all sorts of interesting comments when I’ve relayed that fact. I was a little sad after my first delivery, but that faded with time and I will say that I have run 6 marathons post two of the surgeries (currently training for my first marathon since my 3rd section), and I’m very grateful for good bladder control. ? (Pelvic floor PT is also a good thing if needed!)
WOW! Thank you so much for sharing this Angie! You are so strong and definitely an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others.
Jen,
I truly can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you post about hard things. Sometimes it’s so difficult to see the highlight reel and not be able to see the things that others struggle with too. I feel like I relate to you so much and think you’re such a inspiration. I’m also working with a therapist to lean into vulnerability, but as you know it’s a process.
I haven’t experienced motherhood yet, but I absolutely wept when I read your/Finn’s birth story and the comments. It still makes me well up a bit, and I’m sure that will continue as you work your way into this. Goodness, I’m even crying as I write now.
I know the C-section wasn’t what you were hoping for and am so glad you’re acknowledging that you deserve a moment of sadness about that. So much love to you as you feel all of these conflicting emotions.
Amanda – thank you so much for this comment. I think it’s so important that we as women share openly and freely about our triumphs and our struggles and that we hold each other up in support through all of it. We are not alone. <3
This definitely resonated with me. With my first I had less than ten minutes between finding out I was going for a c/s and his arrival so there was no time to process. I struggled more with my second, a failed Vbac. When I agreed to a cs with him I knew vaginal birth was now off the table for me. I still feel a pang when women talk about pushing but it’s faded so much. Your readers words were so wise. All feelings are valid!
Thank you so much for sharing this Alyssa. <3
You are totally entitled to your feelings. For me the birth world is so weird, so many people are trying to be helpful and assure you your body is amazing and knows what it’s doing that for me it was a shock when things got really bad during my first delivery. My body is amazing and it grew an amazing baby but without that C-section I would be dead. And so would my baby I have no doubt about it. And that just doesn’t fit in the narrative that you hear a lot of the time . For me there was a definite element A feeling betrayed by my body for growing a baby too big to deliver naturally.
I think people need to talk about C-sections more than they do. They are so common. They are life-saving surgeries. Sadly the recovery is tougher than after vaginal childbirth so No of course no one wants one. All of those things are kind of hard to process especially when you’ve been in labor for 20 hours!
I don’t say this to minimize your experience in anyway or what you are feeling now but you may be surprised how quickly you feel better about the experience. Postpartum hormones are no joke. For me it was like PMS time a billion. Once I started getting some sleep and getting the hormones under control I was able to face pretty much everything including my feelings about the C-section. I will also say my scheduled second C-section was a very very very very different experience. So if you want to go for a V bac in the future that’s awesome but for me that was not on the table due to the size of my second baby and I was very happy to just sort of know I was going to be facing a C-section the second time around. It wasn’t exactly peaceful but it was a hell of a lot better than the first time.
Anyway best of luck processing everything. Finn is adorable 🙂
Thank you Irene. The birth world is strange sometimes and I think that a lot of it sets you up to believe that c-sections are largely unnecessary and even “bad” when it reality they have done so much to save the lives of both moms and babies.
I don’t think that you are trying to minimize my experience at all and I already see three weeks out that I am healing so much from this. I just really wanted to share what a roller coaster it’s been for me in the hopes that it might help another woman who is feeling the same things should she find herself in the same shoes.
I have had quite a few people tell me how much more peaceful and relaxed there scheduled c-section was and that it was such a different (and better) experience than their first.
Thank you again for taking the time to comment.
Jen, the beauty and strength of your words tell a story much deeper than a Birth Story. They tell the story of a young woman who is “fit, strong, healthy…” that came face to face with life…not as she would have ordered it but with how life was dealt to her in that moment. They tell the story of a young woman that faced life in that moment and survived to tell her story in honesty and strength of character. They tell the story of a young woman who is a warrior, a victor, a survivor. They tell the story of a young woman who is now a Mom…one who will raise a young man to be fit, strong, healthy, honest, have a strength of character, a warrior, a victor, a survivior and a young man able to handle life as it comes at him because his Mom was able to do just that.
You inspire!
Pam – thank you so much for these beautiful words of support. They touched my heart, truly.
What beautiful words from your reader. I can relate to this SO much. I thought I was “fit enough,” and having a C-section was the last thing I wanted. I told my husband the same thing. But, so many things are out of our control. And in the beginning, I was almost ashamed to tell people I had a C-section because I thought I “should” have a vaginal birth – I even debated sharing my birth story on the blog. I am now realizing that it’s silly because there are so many other people who can relate. And why would someone judge me for an outcome I had no control other?Like other commenters have said, it can be a life saving surgery for you and/or baby. I wasn’t having any luck pushing and baby girl needed to get out. It’s hard, emotionally, for sure. Here if you need to talk!
Yes, I was so grateful to her for sending them.
I’m so glad that you did decided to share your birth story and I hope you see that there are SO many women who can relate. I was blown away by how many amazing comments and stories that were shared with me after I put my birth story out there. We are not alone!
I can completely relate to your emotions, as my little girl was an emergency c-section, and I so wanted a vaginal birth. It’s normal to feel a sense of sadness and disappointment; I felt it, too. But, since I have a habit of dwelling in yucky emotions, I really urged myself to hold on to my little girl, look at my scar, and tell my story with strength. We not only grew these precious humans for many months; we also birthed them in a way that was safe and unique to THEM. They’re here. They’re loved. They’re healthy. And that’s because of us mamas. Truly incredible to say the least! Be proud of yourself– you’re doing an amazing job. Finn adores you.
On a lighter note: isn’t it insane how SMALL the scar is considering your BABY came out of that area?! xo
Thank you thank you for this amazing comment Mary. I love what you said about dwelling and how you reframed that for yourself.
And yes, I can’t even believe that they got his whole body out of that small space!
Jen–What a gift you are giving others by being so open and vulnerable. This is what kindness and women supporting women looks like.
I can’t thank you enough for these kind words Erin. They mean so much to me.
Amazing post. You are doing awesome.
Thank you Kate.
Your words describe exactly how I felt after having my baby girl by c-section 9 months ago. I could not even say the word without crying for a month. I felt even more guilt because mine was not considered an emergency (baby was never in distress), but she was face up and that, along with her larger size (over 8lb) was preventing her from passing my pubic bone. I pushed for 3 hrs total and we tried suction, but were unsuccessful. I felt like my body had failed me and i had failed my baby. I felt like I should have kept trying and not given up so easily. I felt robbed of the experience and had to grieve that loss. 9 months out and I am amazed at how my body healed and how good I feel. I an thankful for a healthy babe and know we were lucky. But i’d be lying if I said I was totally at peace with it and that I don’t still hope for a vaginal birth next time. We will see…
Hi Whitney – I’m so sorry to hear that you had a similar emotional experience. It sounds like you did everything you could to deliver vaginally. Three hours of pushing plus attempting vacuum extraction is no joke! I will send you prayers for continued healing and for a possible VBAC. You are so strong!
I am on the complete opposite end of the spectrum here. My mom and many others i have known had c sections and they went perfectly smooth, had no problem healing, etc. No one i personally know had the experience that they felt that they missed out on anything and ive actually known a few people who were asked about having a vaginal birth after a c section and declined and chose instead to have a second c section. what i do know are that many of those women were told or had others indicate that they were somehow less of a woman, didnt have a “normal” birth, or wouldnt bond with their kids because of their c sections and that really really fires me up ! and all of those nay sayers are other women ! we put to much pressure on ourselves as women IMO in this area.
i do agree with you that no one can tell you your feelings about your birth story but i do wonder how much of the time the way we feel is dictated by how society tells us we should feel. Your feelings are very interesting to me since i personally don’t know anyone in your situation. i hope you will feel better about it soon. i guess i think of it this way…if you hurt your knee would you just grin and bear it and push through for the rest of your life or have a surgery to get better ? of course you would have the surgery. i just hope all in all we can respect women for bringing life into the world no matter how they choose (or dont choose) to do it. maybe in child birth classes they should have discussed this a lot more so that you felt more prepared ?
This all just goes to show how unique and different pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood are for women. I think that’s why we can’t get caught up in blanket statements about pregnancy, how people should feel about birth, motherhood styles/choices, etc. and that it’s important to support people in how they feel, even if you might not be able to quite relate yourself.
And I agree that it’s awful to try to place the expectation on women that they will have a hard time breast feeding or bonding if they have c-sections. That is just setting everyone up for more pain and guilt and not good!
Wonderfully written.
I too had an unplanned emergency c-section. All along the doctors told me I’d do great with my plan of an unmedicated birth so I never thought anything else would happen. In the end I had a placenta abruption and they didn’t even have time to numb me or put me under before they had to cut (good thing I don’t remember it!). It was a scary time and they weren’t sure if either of us were going to make it. Everything turned out fine but when it was all over I couldn’t help but be sad that I didn’t get to birth the way I wanted. I don’t think I ever felt like a failure but just that I missed out on something I wanted to experience so badly. It took me awhile to ‘get over it’ and I guess when I think about it it still makes me sad. My second baby had to be born c-section too with my fertility and delivery history. I know it doesn’t matter how babies come in to the world and that things don’t always go as planned but you are right in that we can still be sad about it.
Thank you. And OH WOW to your story. I am just so glad that you and baby came out okay and I can only imagine how traumatic that was for you. I know it must have taken you a long time to heal from that and I don’t think you ever have to “get over it.” It will always be a part of your story and that’s okay.
Thank you for posting a very emotional experience – for you, for many moms. While I am certainly physically healed from 2 c-sections, emotionally, it can be a challenge (and I have a 15 months old and 3.5 year old). With both, I “envisioned”, prepared for, hoped for, etc., natural child birth. I hoped for a VBAC with my second, but I was far more prepared for a potential c-section (and it was a much better experience because of that mental prep). I understand when people say “just be glad you have a healthy child” – and I am eternally grateful beyond my wildest imaginations to have 2 healthy babies. But, there needs to be more sensitivity and understanding to the emotional trauma moms go through in a c-section – and better awareness and support (not just physical, but even more so emotional). Thank you for sharing your story as I hope it can help others.
You’re welcome and thank you for your comment. I totally relate to what you “envisioned” and I’m sorry that your births didn’t go that way. I have heard from quite a few women that the second c-section was easier physically and emotionally so I’m glad that was somewhat your experience, although I empathize with you over what you must have felt when your VBAC didn’t happen. I agree that there needs to be more emotional support for women in processing what we go through in the process of childbirth…whether it be amazingly positive, traumatic or somewhere in between.
You described a lot of the feelings that I went through. Thanks for being honest and real!
You are so welcome Samantha. <3
“No one else can tell you how you should feel about your birth.” So much truth and honesty in this post. Everyone says the only thing that matters is a healthy baby, and while, of course, it’s true that any mother would take a healthy baby over the perfect delivery, it doesn’t negate the fact that there are emotions involved in every aspect of the process from how you conceived to how you delivered. Emotions and feelings are real and no one should negate that with “outcomes could have been worse.” I too had an unplanned C-section and it was tough to deal with. To this day I still feel a bit sad that I never even felt a single contraction (was induced, water broke, but labor never started.) I spent much of my pregnancy thinking about how labor would go and thinking I had a plan, one that included avoiding a C-section, and that obviously went out the window. I appreciate your honesty here.
Thanks for the support Erin. You are so right that none of the gratitude negates the other emotions that come with pregnancy and childbirth. I’m sorry to hear that you also had an unplanned c-section and that you didn’t get to experience laboring with your baby if that was something you desired. I can relate to the birth plan going out of the window. xo
Thank you for being so open with your readers. I do not have children and all of the details you are sharing about pregnancy and labor have helped me to better understand what my pregnant friends/friends with children have physically and emotionally experienced. I have so much respect for you, them, and all the moms reading this blog!
My good friend had an emergency c-section with her first baby and she shared with me it was really scary but we have not discussed in this level of detail. I do know there were a lot of similarities in what you both experienced.
Sending love as you continue to heal physically and emotionally <3
You are so welcome. I think that one of the best ways we can support each other as women is to be more open and honest about everything from our triumphs to our struggles. I think it helps us all relate to each other on a deeper level and not feel so alone.
xx
Thanks for being real. I’m still struggling with my C Section and it was planned and 19 months ago. I would have died and most likely my babies would have too if it wasn’t for a C Section. I don’t think that’s something you just get over. So don’t put any pressure on how long this process will take. You will go through so much as a mom during those first years. It’s incredible. For me it felt fine and then it didn’t. That’s when I chose to start going to therapy. I’m glad you already participate in self care. Speak the truth!
Wow Alicia. I’m so glad to hear that you are okay and that your babies are too. I am grateful for medicine that saves the lives of babies and moms, it’s a blessing. I agree that it’s not something that you just get over and I think it’s important to be gentle with yourself as you are healing, just like we’re told to be with the physical healing. And yes to therapy. So good.
I’ve had 4 babies, no c-sections. My first could have gone that way but it was a roll of the dice. I’m also ‘very fit’, yoga teacher of 15 year blah blah.The only birth I’ve ever witnessed as a third party was a c-section (friend of mine) and it was beautiful, necessary and perfect.
Babies are born in a moment. And it is exactly that. a moment. their lives are not that moment. Mothering is not that moment.
Thank you for these words Claire! <3
My first son was born (30+ years ago) under basically the same circumstances as Finn. However the emergency on call doctor was old school and my son was born by a classic vertical cesarean. My scar starts right below my belly button and is the entire length of my abdamon. The recovery was quite long, but I was young and this was my first child so I had now idea what a normal recovery was supposed to feel like. Fast forward 10 years to my second pregnancy and there was much discussion with my doctor about the type of birth I could expect. I was able to deliver my second son via VBAC and he was almost 10lbs! They were both born so differently, but still perfectly healthy which all these years later is the main thing I remember! Your son will bring you joy, pride & more love then you can imagine from this day forward!
Hi Janeen – thank you for the comment and I’m sorry that you had to undergo that type of c-section with your first. That is so tough. And wonderful that you were able to deliver via VBAC with your second. I know this birth is only the start of our life together and that any pain that I feel over the birth experience will be replaced with love and wonderful memories.
You’re words are appreciated and hit home so deeply. I too, was one, that followed your pregnancy and thought you’d have no problem delivering vaginally. After my many csections, I tend to categorize women in that way, always feeling inferior.
11 years ago, I was a failed induction and failure to progress, so many words of failure, when I was told that I would have to have a ceection and I broke into tears, all my doctor said was, “I’m not sure why it matters, you’re getting a baby either way” that stung so hard.
I’ve since had a failed Vbac…yes more failure and I will have my fifth csection in November. Of which, a surprise baby, I was told that I shouldn’t be pregnant after 4 C sections.
I have 3 sisters who have all delivered multiple children vaginally, without epidurals, and have been told they are amazing and so strong and have never been told they can’t have a baby. I’ve always wondered what’s wrong with me.
Reading your words are helping me face my reality and emotions I’ve buried. I thank you, for sharing, for being a woman willing to show the real parts of life and that we are allowed to face our own realities with sadness and learn to accept them.
Hi Sunny – I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to comment. It touched my heart and I’m sad to hear that you ever felt like a failure in your birth experiences. I can imagine that it’s difficult not to compare yourself to your sisters, I know that must be so hard for you. There is nothing wrong with you. <3 And congratulations on your new baby and I will be sending nothing but love, prayers and positivity your way. I think that sharing openly and honestly is a huge way that we can support each other as women and help each other not to feel alone in what we struggle with…because we truly are not alone and there is nothing we experience that another woman out there can’t relate to. We just have to talk about it. I hope you find the strength to do that for yourself. Your story is your story, no apologies. <3 Take care of yourself.
I can relate to this post so much! I had twins 9 weeks ago (at Novant Presbyterian in charlotte!) and I made it to my scheduled csection date at 38 weeks, so I was mentally prepared for the csection. The babies decided they wanted to come a few hours early and had my husband and I rushing to the hospital at 4 AM! I went from 0 to 9 cm dilated in 45 minutes and had to be rushed into the OR and put under general anesthesia so I was completely put to sleep! They don’t allow the spouse in the room if you’re under general anesthesia so my husband couldn’t even be in the OR with me. I don’t remember anything about that first day because I was so groggy when I woke up! The one thing I really feel like I missed out on is seeing my husband see the babies for the first time. I hate that I missed that. I also cannot believe how much pain I was in and how close we were to having the babies in the car on the way to the hospital. It was SO traumatic even though I knew I would have a csection! It just goes to show you that you can only plan so much for delivery day. I couldn’t talk about the delivery experience for a couple of weeks because I would cry every single time just like you did. I’m fine talking about it now but it was so scary for me! I’m glad you are bringing attention to the emotional aspect of having a csection – planned or not!
Kate – I got chills reading your story. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Thank you so much for sharing. <3
this was beautiful and so honestly raw. share away Jen! you deserve to feel any way you want and to get it out as you please. as someone who definitely has no ball in this game, i have just loved reading your journey and will continue to love it. congratulations again <3
Thank you so much for the love and support Adrianna. <3 and I really appreciate your words about following my journey even though we are on different paths right now.
Such a wonderful post, Jen and one so many people will relate to. I didn’t have a c-section but I did have quite a traumatic birth as my daughters shoulders got stuck so I had to have a large episiotomy and she came out blue and not breathing 🙁 While I didn’t have a c-section I still had a large incision that had to heal and my recovery was very painful and felt slow at the time. I knew a few people who had babies around the same time as me and they had c-sections and seemed to recover quicker than I did! Each birth story is so so so unique to each woman and each baby. It’s hard not to feel extremely emotional about how our babies enter the world! I will say – 6.5 months later – I am finally feeling very close to 100% again and I rarely think about my labour and delivery any more. The emotional and physical pain did fade with time (for me). Sending hugs!
Thank you Amber. I really appreciate you sharing your experience and it’s a great point that ALL types of births can be hard and go not as planned. I know that time will bring a lot of healing for us and it’s great to hear that has been the case for you.
Thank you so so much for sharing your story and honest experience! I had my second c section 6 months ago (both times I had planned for and prepared for a natural, vaginal birth). Needless to say, the emotional healing has been a tough process to deal with, on top of everything else. Just wanted to say that I can relate to so much of your thoughts and emotions.