In A World Where You Can Be Anything

Today didn’t quite go as planned. But do many days really go as we plan? I think that a lot of pain/struggle comes from holding on to things we cannot control and today showed me that even in the face of (literal) pain, there is a whole lot of other good stuff to focus on.

The day started at around 12:30a when Finn just couldn’t settle. He was waking hourly, crying and needing to be soothed so I finally brought him in bed with me. We snuggled and both got a few hours of sound sleep. I’m glad I listened to my gut and didn’t let him cry it out because I took his temperature around 5a and it was 101. I was able to nurse him and get him back down in his crib for a couple more hours while I got up and got started with my day. Since Finn was running a fever, I had to find a last-minute sub for my morning circuit training class at the Y. I am on team no child watch when Finn is sick. I don’t want him getting other kids sick or picking up germs when his immune system is down. Luckily I was able to quickly find someone.

Despite his fever, Finn was in a great mood. He was playful, eating and acting like his cute self although he definitely needed some extra cuddles and attention. We went on a run/walk with Zoey. He was practicing his patty cake in the stroller.

Things went downhill when we got home. I needed to shower so I put Finn is his favorite activity center with Little Baby Bum songs while I rinsed off. I have been telling my landlord for a very long time that my shower doors come off track easily. It happened today and as I was trying to get them back on track, one fell on my foot! I had a delayed reaction as I realized it had landed on my left big toe.

Y’all…it was so bad that it cracked the bathroom tile and knocked down the lighting fixture in the kitchen downstairs. I hobbled downstairs with Finn on my hip to get some ibuprofen to find glass shattered all over the floor, looked up and saw the lighting fixture dangling from the ceiling.

I won’t show you my foot up close but it’s bloody, throbbing and I’m 99.9% sure that I am going to lose my toenail. This threw me. My first thought was, “Oh my god…I’m not going to be able to run. How am I going to teach? How will I get around to take care of Finn?” I don’t think it’s broken but I will reassess the situation in the coming days as the injury settles in.

To be honest, one of my first thoughts was also, “this is what you get for subbing out your class at the last-minute and going for a run/walk…had you taught your class, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” I know this line of thinking isn’t totally rational or helpful but I’m sharing because that’s just where our minds go sometimes.

My immediate reaction was that I should cancel my lunch and dinner plans and sub out my evening yoga class. I’m so glad that I didn’t. God showed up for me big time with reminders that even when things seem crappy, there are some pretty amazing places to focus your attention instead.

I was on the receiving end of so much kindness from others today.

I met up with someone that I connected with on Instagram for lunch at Cava. She has an 11 year old son and is about 10 years ahead of me in this whole single mom thing. I was so grateful that she held space for my vulnerability and shared her own experiences so openly and honestly. I confided to her that I draw SO much strength from all of the women who have gone before me in figuring out all sorts of challenging parenting scenarios. We are fierce mamas.

As we were walking to our cars she told me that she had something for me. She gave me this key stamped with the word LOVE. She shared that it was given to her as a gift at a time in her life where things were shifting from a place of loneliness to hope. She’s worn this key around her neck for several years with the intention of passing it to another when the time was right. I am honored that she felt the the time was right with me. What an inspiring, special gesture and an awesome responsibility that I have to pass it along to someone else one day. For now, I’ll keep it close to my heart. You can read more about The Giving Keys here.

I had a meeting uptown that ran late and put me in a pickle to get to VIBE5 to teach my Wednesday evening hot yoga class. One of the studio owners was kind enough to start my class for me while I rushed to change. I hobbled in with my bum toe and took over. You guys…I walked out of class to find that she had left me a bottle of wine and a “hope your toe feels better soon” note. How does it work that I was the one late to class, she had to start my class for me and she left ME wine!?

After teaching I walked over to Bar Marcel which is one of Charlotte’s newest restaurants. It’s owned by the same crew that does Vivace so I had high hopes. I met three of my girlfriends and we shared a few small plates. I loved Bar Marcel and can’t wait to visit over and over again. I emerged from this dinner feeling a lot more grounded (and full of delicious food).

And finally, I checked my mail as I was pulling into my driveway after dinner and found a letter from the University of Georgia school of veterinary medicine. One of my blog readers with whom I connected with many, many years ago made a donation in Sullie’s memory. Gosh, I miss her so much.

This cued all of the tears streaming down my face. As a girl who was born and raised in Georgia and graduated from UGA, this was a special and meaningful gesture. Thank you Louly. I am so lucky to have met you all those years ago.

I am also grateful to Deeana Kourtney Photography for capturing these moments with Sullie for us when they were beyond the scope of what we were shooting. <3

I feel so lucky to have been on the receiving end of all of this kindness and I can’t wait to go out and pay it forward!

What’s the kindest thing you’ve done for someone lately? 

What’s the kindest thing that’s been done for you?