I am writing today with a broken heart.
I took Sullie into the vet on Friday because she was refusing food and acting lethargic. I was praying it was just the arrival of hot and humid weather. It was cancer.
I have been dreading this day for years. Cancer is very common in golden retrievers (almost 60% of goldens die from cancer) and so far we had been able to escape it. We had a scare a few years ago but after surgery to have some tumors removed, all was okay.
Sadly, this time it is not okay. She has hemangiosarcoma which is an aggressive, rapidly spreading cancer. X-rays showed that she has a lot of it in her chest and there is also something going on in her abdomen. She had a very high liver count and was sensitive to palpitations of her belly.
At this point, there is nothing that can be done and I am struggling with when to put her down. I am trying to make the choice that is the most fair and peaceful for Sullie. I asked the vet in the office on Friday if it was selfish for me to bring her home this weekend and she assured me that she would make the same decision if she was in my shoes and encouraged me to bring her home, love on her and spoil her.
So that’s exactly what I’ve been doing and I’m so, so glad that I did.
I spoke with the vet who has been her doctor for 10 years on Saturday morning (she wasn’t there on Friday) and we had a tearful conversation about what is best for Sullie. It’s so hard because she is eating now, drinking, going outside, coming upstairs at night to sleep with us, etc.
I tentatively scheduled having our vet come and put her down at my house on Monday afternoon but I’m having a hard time with this given that she has had such a good weekend and doesn’t seem to be in pain. I will talk with her doctor again tomorrow morning and continue to monitor her.
For now, I’ll just keep giving her all the cuddles and cooking her all the delicious food. She’s been gobbling it up! 🙂
These are the posts that break my heart to write but it’s a very real part of life and being a pet owner. I can’t even begin to get into what Sullie means to me. She is my angel, my rock and my special girl. We’ve been together for almost 13 years and I am so grateful for every single one of those days. I fully realize how blessed I am to have had her with me for so long. I want her remaining time to be so full of love and peace.
Thank you for all of the love and support that you all have extended to me on Instagram. Your messages have brought me so much comfort and happiness that my Sullie girl is so well loved.
I will keep you posted, of course.
Love,
Jen
I’m so sorry. We had the almost exact same situation with my sweet Jake. When I thought it was time he would have a really good day, so I was constantly questioning myself. Then one day he just looked at me and I knew. He was the first love of my life and I just had a feeling in my heart he was tired and on pain. I am so sorry you have to go through this and send lots of healing prayers and thoughts your way. She clearly has had an amazing life and is so so loved.
I am so sorry to hear about Sullie. Sending you lots of love <3
Having recently put my Sadie girl down, I totally empathize with the pain you are feeling. I read something that made me feel better about my decision: “I’d rather do it a week early instead of a day too late.” Helping them avoid suffering at all costs is where our hearts are. It is SO hard when they have a good day or two. Sadie had a rough weekend and then on the Monday the vet was scheduled to come, she had a great day. We literally had to make her lay down for the injection. It was so tough and I questioned myself until I read the above quote. Though it didnt make the loss any easier, I do know I made the right decision at the right time. You will too. Sending love. ❤️?
I am so sorry. We just lost our 7 year old dachshund to hemangiosarcoma. Ours had lots of ups and downs in the weeks leading up to his passing, and our vet told us that was very typical of this type of cancer. The morning he was euthanized at home, he ate like a champ and barked at the vet when he came in. He seemed so much like himself that I really doubted our decision. But the day before that, he was in such bad shape we thought we were going to lose him then and there. We didn’t want him to have another day like that, so as hard as it was, I know it was the most loving choice we could make for him. You’ll know in your heart when the time is right. Hugs to you all.
God bless you and Sullie and her baby brother and sister Zoe. These decisions are never easy. Praying for comfort and peace for all of you.
One of the hardest things you will ever have to do and one of the best gifts you can give her. Spoil her, love her and your gut will tell you when it is time. Keep doing what you are doing, may God bless you all.
The first thing I thought when I read the title of your post was “not her sweet Sullieeeee!” And now I’m in tears. She’s not even my dog! Goodness.
Sending you even more love and healing vibes than usual <3
We lost our yellow lab of 12 years, Swede, on Thursday. I understand your breaking heart. We have been comforted knowing he was an angel sent to heal and grow our family for the time we were together. I know your sweet girl is the same. Enjoy these sweet moments but know her spirit will surround you in all the places she has left her mark.
❤️
Hi Jen – Sully May stay around longer because you are such a loving care giver . What a beautiful dog. I am sorry to hear of the cancer .
I hope the time you have left is peaceful.
Also, Happy Mother’s Day . You are a great Mom . Enjoy the day ?♥️, Jeannie
I am so sorry, Jen. Your beautiful Sully is your angel and I can totally understand how difficult this must be for you. Big hugs for you and your sweet girl ❤️?
There is nothing harder than saying goodbye to our sweet golden babies! You spoil her as much as you can! I lost my Midey Roo at age 12 to lymphoma and it crushed me. They truly take a piece of your heart when they go, but the memories are the best! You’ve given Sullie a wonderful life and she knows she is loved beyond measure! Thinking of you all and wishing you peace! 🙂
I read the title and just got so sad. Sending comforting thoughts your way. It’s such a tough process. Hang in there. Such a sweet pup.
So sorry to hear this news. Just such a hard situation! Following your blog for almost 7 years now, I know how much Sullie means to you and all you’ve gone through together. Praying for you in such a sad time. Nothing easy about losing a loyal pup and friend!!
My heart hurts for you. It is such a tough decision.
My heart breaks for you. This is such a tough decision. Sending you lots of love.
I’m so sorry, Jen. We had to let go of our girl in December and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. Her health declined so rapidly as she went blind and then about a year later started losing control of her bladder and was showing signs of being in pain. We tried to get the bladder thing under control for about 2 months but then she lost her appetite and stopped eating dog food and it was when she started refusing human food as well that I knew it was time. We had the vet come to our house and it was very peaceful for her, but so painful for us. It was tough as we took her for a walk the day before we lost her so we too questioned if we were making the right decision. Afterwards, as heartbroken as we were that she was gone we knew we’d made the right decision in giving her some peace. Sending you ALL the love during this difficult time. You have given Sullie a beautiful and amazing life. <3 <3
I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your sweet Sullie girl. Dogs are truly a gift from God to us and hold such a special place in our hearts. I am thinking about and praying for you! <3
This is the most difficult part of having a pet you love so much. I’m so sorry! It’s evident how much you love Sullie <3
I’m so sorry Jen. This is such a tough decision and from following you for years, know Sullie has been a constant for you – a constant source of happiness, support, and a reminder of what’s important. She really is a part of you and the only thing we can do for our four legged companions is to try to give them as much love back as they give to us. Extra treats and belly rubs certainly don’t hurt, too. Sending lots of love and good vibes your way.
The Sullie pictures and stories truly influenced my decision to get a dog for my own family six years ago. I am so very sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. You’re both in my thoughts. What a difficult decision you are facing.
I’m so sorry Jen. This is heartbreaking news. Sullie influenced my decision to get our Golden 6 years ago. She’s such a beautiful dog and loving family member, and you’ve been such a wonderful mom to her.
I’ll be thinking of you.
I’m so, so sorry. I personally would think if she had a good weekend and seems ok, I’d hold off on the appointment tomorrow.. But you know Sullie best. I thankfully haven’t had to put any of my dogs down, but I’ve heard that you just know when it’s the right thing to do. Sullie will tell/show you when she’s ready. I’m heartbroken for you. Losing a dog is the absolute worst.
The worst kind of heartbreak. End of story.
You’re not alone ?
I am so sorry…pets are such an important part of the family and they bring so much joy. We put our 11 year old dog down this winter. I was also torn on the ‘when’ as she had a short rally time of about 5 days. I knew it wasn’t ‘if’ but ‘when’ so I waited a few days. And being the amazing dog that she was, she told me when it was time. Whatever you decide, it will be the right thing for your Sullie.
Oh Jen??? my heart is heavy for you…that lovely girl has been exactly what you’ve needed. I hope she holds on a few more days so you can love on her more?
I went through the same thing with my lab mix. He would have good days and bad days so it was really hard to know what was going on. Sadly I didn’t know he had cancer until it ruptured and he was bleeding internally. It is so hard to make these decisions when they are so special to us. Sending hugs to you because I know how hard it is to be in your shoes.
I’m so, so sorry Jen. I know how you feel. I nursed my one in a million dog Maggie through cancer. She lived for some time, with pain medication, but when she had enough, I had t make the hardest decision I ever made. Sending you lots of love and strength, and hope that Sullie is comfortable.
I’m sorry Jen. That would be a really tough decision to make, and I would struggle with it too. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.
-Sam
Holding space in my heart for you as you struggle with this news and next step, she will let you know when she is ready and until then keep loving her as you do ?
I’m so sorry to hear this. She is such a sweet girl and you gave her a wonderful life. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. ❤️
It’s awful to lose a dog. They are such faithful companions and become family. I pray for your little family and the strength to do what’s right for all concerned.
My heart broke when I saw your news about Sullie. It’s never easy but we had to have our 16 year old Zoey put to sleep with cancer and she let us know when it was time. We also had some one to our home so she could fall asleep peacefully with us in bed. It was so comforting and gave us so much peace to know she was surrounded by love and not scared as she went over the rainbow ? bridge. Sending prayers.
I am sending you all of my love. Losing our children is always so hard. I hope you’re able to find comfort in your loved ones as you grieve.
I am so very sorry to hear this. We had to put our 14 year old labradoodle down on March 13. It was so much more difficult than I thought it would be. I will say like you I struggled because she seemed to have a really good day on the day Lap of Love was to arrive to put her to sleep. But I read and researched so much and learned it is a good thing for their last day to be a good day. I also learned it is better to be a week too early than a day too late when they are in so much pain. My sweet girl ate so much on her last day. I am so sorry about this. I still cry all the time. The Lap of Love website has a lot of great check lists to help make the decision. Hugs and prayers.
Sending you all so much Love! I’m just in tears reading this and she knows how much you love her and have been the best Mom she could ever have. Sending you all big hugs and so much love.
My heart goes out to you. We went through this last fall with our beloved Lucy and there’s nothing to make it easier or better (in my opinion). During my struggle to make the decision, a couple of people told me that “Lucy will let you know when it’s time,” and they were right. Sending hugs.
Sending you so much love. It’s evident that you have such a special bond with both your girls. My heart just breaks for you. No matter what happens, you did everything you could for her with so much love and that’s what matters.
I’m so sorry! Sending positive thoughts, love and hugs. ❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. We faced a very similar situation with our lab almost 4 years ago when she was diagnosed with cancer at only 10. She was my best friend and solace through many hard times and I still get choked up thinking about her. All I can say is – you will know when it is time…don’t rush it, but don’t feel guilty. She’s loved and been loved so much by you and we just don’t get enough time with them. Cherish the good memories and make her time the best. Thinking of you and sending hugs – even though i don’t know you, i feel like I know you both. All the kisses and love to sweet Sullie.
Jen, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had to say goodbye to my sweet girl last year and it was the most painful, heartbreaking thing I’ve had to do. Sending you lots of hugs.
You and Sullie have been on my mind and heart all weekend. Sending love to the whole family. ❤️
Jen, my heart is just broken for you and I’m crying with you. Dogs are so much more than pets and I know Sullie has been a constant source of happiness while you have endured some really painful times. I have had similar experiences with my girl, and she is what kept me going at times. You and Sullie are so lucky to have had one another ♥️ Keeping space in my heart for you and sending you lots of love.
?Sullie is so loved and will always know that! I’m so sorry you have to make the decision, but sending hugs, compassion, and understanding your way. My heart hurts…it’s so hard.
Praying for you and your sweet girl. ❤️
???
Oh no! I am so sorry. I lost a golden retriever to hemangiosarcoma, too: one day he was fine, and the next he woke up with nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite and lethargy. It turned out that he had hemangiosarcoma in the wall of his heart that had burst and caused a cardiac tamponade. 🙁 We had to have him put down that afternoon.
I know it’s so hard to know when to let them go. I am so sorry for you and for your sweet girl Sullie.
I am so so sorry to hear this Jen. Sending you so much love and strength to get through this hard time. <3
Sending all love to you, Sullie, Zoey, and Finn. I know from reading your blog regularly that your girl is a well-loved sweetheart. I am certain that all decisions you make for her will be made from a place of wanting the best for her and knowing her best.
Oh, Jen. I wrote you on Instagram when you posted the news about Sullie, but I can’t help but say again how much your readers feel for you and send you our love. I agree with the commenters here that you’ll know when the time is right for Sullie. With my 14-year-old lab, Greta, her own form of cancer was so sudden and so aggressive that I didn’t feel comfortable even bringing her home for a last evening. I’m so grateful you have this bit of sweet extra time with your girl. It doesn’t matter how old they are – it hurts the same to lose them. You are such an obviously wonderful dog mom. All our love to you ❤️
I am really sorry… also had to go through this 2 years ago… it’s hard. We wish they were with us for ever. We kept our boy home until we realized it was time. You will be sure when the time comes, since you are the one who knows her the best… ♡
You’ve been on my mind and heart all weekend, Jen. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. Sending you prayers of comfort and peace. She is so lucky to have such an amazing mama.
I am so sorry to hear this. I have been through the same thing and it was the most painful time in my life. It hurt so much, I actually questioned whether it would be worth it to do it all again. But of course it is. Dogs are the best thing in the world. Your memories will stay with you forever. So sweet that Finn got to know Sullie too. So much love to you, Zoey and Finn (and Brandon too, if he still sees her).
I am so very sorry. You will know when the time is rights. My prayers are with you.
Oh Jen my heart breaks for you! I’m so sorry. She has had a great life with you ❤
I’m so sorry Jen. Losing a pet is so hard, especially when they’ve been part of your life for so long. And it’s so hard to decide when it’s the right time to let a dog go, especially because they just love life. Whatever choice you make will be the right choice because it’ll be out of love for Sullie. I’m wishing you peace as you make the decision.
Jen, I am so very sorry to hear this…my heart is breaking for you and your beautiful Sullie. Thinking of you at this difficult time.
Oh Jen, I am so sorry to hear this. Sending you and Sullie lots of love, and hope you fill your heart with as many snuggles as possible with your sweet girl.
Sending you lots of love! We’ve been through this exact same scenario and there is nothing that I can say that will make it easier. You’ll have a sense of when the time is right… keep loving on her.
Jen, my heart is with you. You’ll know in your heart when the right time is to let her go. You have given her so, so much love and are a wonderful mother to her.
I have tears rolling down my face reading this Jen! I know how hard this is bc I went thru this with my golden too! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! ❤
Hi Jen!
So sorry about Sullie! It is always so so hard! My female rottweiler had melanoma and when we found it, it was everywhere inside and it was aggressive also. I took her home with me and enjoyed every moment. She went on short walks and whenever she didn’t seem to want to eat I would switch her food so she would and then just one day her breathing was a lot more labored and I knew it was time. That was 3 months from the time we found out! I was grateful to have the last time with her! She was only 8 and she was a rescue but we had a good 5 years together! Just keep doing what you are doing! You will know when it is time!
XO!
I’m so terribly sorry. My heart breaks for you. I’ve followed your blog for a few years now, and I love seeing your beautiful goldies. I had to put my Minnie, a basset hound, down in March and it was the hardest thing ever. She was truly my baby and my angel, so I know the pain. Sullie will tell you when the pain is too much-Minnie did the same for me, and I think it’s their way of helping us out. Even in the end, dogs are unwavering in their love and devotion to us. Again, I’m so sorry.
don’t underestimated the power of prayer 🙂
I’m so sorry, Jen. We had a Jack Russell for 16 years, 6 years before we had our kids so she was our first “child”. As she was aging we knew we should probably put her to sleep. Neither my husband nor I could do it. I guess it was a blessing when she died quickly one morning when no one was in the room. She knew what was happening and distanced herself all day. It’s still such a difficult image in my mind. Hang in there. Lots of hugs for you and all your sweet “babies”.
I am so so sorry to hear this!! You have me crying, I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel. My heart goes out to you and I pray for both of you <3 <3
Hi Jen,
I just want to say how much my heart aches for you. End times are never easy. But as my late husband used to say (and in my opinion he was the original ‘dog whisperer’) a dog will let you know when they are ready to give up the fight. They will stop eating. As long as Sullie is eating that means she is not ready to give up. So don’t give up on her until she lets you know it’s time. And even then you will never feel ‘ready’ but you will know she is – and that in itself will give you peace.
Love, prayers and hugs for you all,
Laurie
I’m so sorry to hear this! I adore Sullie and have loved reading about your adventures. It’s so, so hard to lose a pet so please be gentle with yourself and trust yourself that whatever decision you make will be the right one. xoxo
So sorry to hear this Jen. I love all the posts and photos about the dogs and how Finn is interacting with them. So precious. It is never easy…I have been in your shoes a few times with my own dogs. How nice that your vet will come to your home. You will know when the time is right because Sullie will tell you. Thinking of you…
My heart goes out to you. We just said goodbye to our 13-year old boxer in March and now are watching our 11-year old boxer exhibit similar symptoms. Our furry friends bring so much joy to our lives and are never with us long enough. Rest easy and know that whatever decision you make, it will be the best for Sullie. We can learn so much from their unconditional love.
I’ve been thinking of you and Sullie all weekend. Sending a big hug and prayers to you. Pups are the very best family members and you have given her the BEST home. xoxo
My heart just breaks for you. I had to out down two of my beloved fur babies earlier this year. They were bonded cats and only 10 years old. One had cancer, and the other we’re convinced became sick from a broken heart. It is the absolute worst feeling in the world, but know that you gave Sullie her best life and that she loves you so much.
My heart breaks for you, i’m so sorry. Sending lots of prayers your way!
I have nothing significant to add as I realize nothing makes the pain better. All I can say is I’ve been there. It’s very difficult. We made the decision to put our dog down 2 weeks after our son was born. It was HARD but he was suffering. In hindsight, being able to be there and hold him for his last breath along letting him die with what felt like the dog equivalent of dignity was truly beautiful. I feel blessed that we could have such a beautiful end together. Thinking about you.
I am so sorry that you and your pup are going through this. I’m so glad that you are getting some time with her. Big hugs!
I’m so sorry to read about Sullie. Dogs really become such integral parts of our family and it is so devastating to lose them. Sending prayers that her days be filled with love. She’s lucky to have you and have known such love.
I am so sorry to hear about Sullie. It is never easy to lose a pet, much less when it comes so suddenly. You will definitely know when it is the right time and I know you will make the best decision for Sullie. Take care of yourself and I wish you, Finn, and Zoey the best with the transition to life without Sullie. Hugs for all of you and you all are definitely in my thoughts during this difficult time.
I’m so sorry to hear about Sullie. It’s hard to make this decision 🙁 I’ve been there too. Wishing peace and comfort for you and Sullie.
Cried my way through this posts and the comments. So sorry to hear Sullie has cancer. Just want to echo all the other comments about pets letting you know when it’s time. You’ll sense it.
Sending love <3
Sending so much love to you and sweet Sully. ❤️
Awe this breaks my heart! Dogs are so special and truly a humans best friend. I have lost a couple dogs in my day and it never gets easier. Prayers go out to you and your family during this tough time.
-Kate
https://daysofkate.com/
I am so sorry. We had to put our 11-year old golden retriever to sleep a few months ago (also cancer) – he was such a sweet dog, and it was so hard. I agree with the other commenters that it feels hard deciding but that we do not in retrospect regret deciding to go to the vet when we did. I’ve enjoyed seeing your pictures and reading about your relationship with Sullie over the years.
I hope you’re doing okay.
I am so sorry to hear this about Sullie. I love reading about her through your blog. She’s a beautiful dog and so blessed to have you. Know you’re in my prayers??????
Thank you so much. I feel so blessed to have had her in my life for so long. She’s so special.
I was devastated to read your news on Instagram… There is an unexplained and incredible bond between human and pup. I remember sharing when we had to put one of our dogs down that they are a ‘silent witness’ to your day to day — never judging and always a constant in a changing world. I think this is one of the many, many reasons they mean so much to us. We are their everything — flaws and all. As humans, they can teach us so much and I know Sullie has done that for you, too. She’s been an angel in fur and I pray you enjoy each moment togetherm
Hi Jen – I’m a long time reader and lurker. I just wanted to say this post absolutely broke my heart and I’m in tears for you. I know what Sullie means to you and she is an absolute sweetheart of a dog, I’m so, so, so sorry to hear of this news. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing all the right things and feeding her all those lovely meals is such a sweet thing to do during this horrendous time. I am sending you all good vibes and hugs across the Atlantic, from me and my golden boy. Xxxxxx
it’s too sad; i’m so so so sorry. she’s had an amazing life full of love and she’ll always be with you. xox