Hello, hello! I just got home from recording a podcast as a guest on It Sounded Like A Good Idea at the Time. We had a great discussion about many things from applying yoga to life off the mat to how to deal with life’s unexpected twists and turns to paradox and much, much more. The episode will be out next week and I will share the link when it’s live! 🙂
I really love listening to podcasts so it’s been fun for me to actually get to join the discussion myself! In a world where I had a lot more time and resources/help, I could totally see myself hosting one but I just don’t think that is going to happen at this moment in time. Lots of other things I need to focus on developing/pursuing right now.
And now…a quick peek into our weekend. It was a great mix of quiet and social. Finn and I spent lots of time hanging at home with the pups but also got out for a few activities and friend dates.
Our weekend kicked off early with a Friday trip to Discovery Place. I’ve taken my nieces a couple of times but this was Finn’s first time. We received a family membership for Christmas so I thought that it might be fun for him to go and look at some things. It was a super rainy day so it was a nice way to get out of the house. Unfortunately, there were TONS of school groups there and it was very crowded and chaotic. We only stayed for about 45 minutes but it was long enough for Finn to get to check out some new things and explore a bit. (My grandmother calls this his “signature pose.”) I know he’ll love it more once he gets a bit older. I’m also eager to check out Discovery Place Kids in Huntersville.
We stopped by Villani’s on the way home for some weekend treats. I got my two faves, the lemon blueberry cheesecake and carrot cake but for the first time ever…my carrot cake was so dry! It was a big bummer.
On Friday night we met Virginia for an early dinner at CAVA. Finn was hands up for the pita bread and hummus!
I had the greens and grains bowl with all sorts of spreads and toppings. It was delicious. I really like CAVA a lot and I’m glad they’ve made their way to Charlotte.
On Saturday morning we were up and out of the house to meet one of my friends and her one-year old baby girl for a playdate at My Gym. The class experience was really neat but Finn was the youngest there and to be honest, a little too young for it. While he’s crawling, he’s not really climbing or pulling up a ton yet so he was limited in what he could do. It was a bit overwhelming for him and running into his morning nap time. We’ll try again when he’s a little older! I did really love the set up!
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Saturday afternoon was super chill and looked like a LONG nap for Finn, a walk with Virginia, Finn and the girls and a yoga class for me. I dropped Finn with his dad so that I could catch a late afternoon class and it was wonderful. You’re going to hear me talking about this a lot but I am just so grateful to be back to my practice. I’m also in such a different place with it and it’s a breath of fresh air and giving me a completely new love, energy, appreciation for my practice. I’ll write more about this once I dive deeper into it but that Saturday afternoon practice was such a gift.
This is hard for me to write here but I feel like I have to do it because I think it can help others who feel the same way. Sometimes (almost all the time) I feel so guilty for getting a sitter so that I can go to yoga, or for giving up time with Finn so that I can practice, but what it does for me emotionally, energetically, spiritually is not just a gift for me but also for Finn.
I picked Finn up after yoga and while I was nursing and rocking him to sleep, decided that I was going to treat myself to Thai delivery for dinner. I ordered green curry from Thai Orchid and Postmates delivered it to my door just 30 minutes later. (You can use my code EZ81N for free delivery on your first Postmates order.) Ahh it was so good and the perfect Saturday night dinner. I usually split it into two meals because the portions are generous but I ended up eating this bowl x2 because it was just so good. Whoever was making the curry on this night was on point. It was the best I’ve ever had from this restaurant.
Our Sunday got off to a beautifully slow start. With the time change, we ended up cuddling in bed until 9a. A lot of times I keep Finn in bed with me after his early morning feed and we snooze a bit longer. It is my FAVE! Y’all…my sweet girls are so good with Finn. They never even flinch if he grabs their fur or tries to pull up on them, and the always want to be close to them. He’s also interacting with them more and laughs at them often and has even started waving at them. It’s the best EVER!
We got all off of our nap schedule because of the time change so Finn only took one long midday nap. While he was down I did a home workout. Once he woke up, I got showered and dressed to meet a friend for coffee.
We met at Amelie’s where I had the most delicious chai tea. I can’t wait to order this again. We spent about an hour catching up. Finn and I made a quick stop into the grocery on the way home.
Our Sunday concluded with a 30 minute walk with the girls to celebrate the extra daylight and the sun finally coming out. It was a gorgeous evening. We chatted with my grandmother while we walked.
So I know that my blog has changed a lot with pregnancy and the transition into motherhood but I just didn’t know until I walked through it how much Finn was going to rock my world…in the best of ways. While I still don’t want to transition into a full-on “mom blogger,” Finn is a huge part of my life and thus has a big presence on my blog.
I still plan to keep sharing eats, recipes, workouts, health and fitness content. That said, I’ve always done that with an undercurrent of blogging about my life…and this is life right now. I can honestly say that this shift in priorities and new perspective is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I appreciate those of you who have been on board with it, but I also TOTALLY understand if it’s not your thing. Just remember, it’s on you to constantly edit what you consume online and make sure it makes YOU feel good/healthy/happy. If my blog doesn’t “bring you joy” you need to Marie Kondo me. 🙂
It will be fun for me to report back tomorrow on whether or not I slept tonight. I had a latte this afternoon when my gut was telling me, “you shouldn’t have anymore caffeine, have a kombucha instead.” Let’s just say I should have listened to my gut. I was visibly shaking after it and felt so icky.
I did start a new book at my grandmother’s recommendation so here’s hoping that sucks me in and relaxes me.
At what age do you feel like your babies “got it/enjoyed it” when it came to new activities/experiences?
Favorite Thai order?
How have you found balance with mom-ing and taking care of yourself? Do you deal with guilt? Tips? Insights? Stories?
Jen,
I’ve enjoyed your posts so much and always look forward to reading them. You are a breathe of fresh air in the Mom world and I appreciate your honesty about parenting. Making time for yourself is beyond important and saying out loud was what many moms need to hear. Thank you. And little Finn is so adorable! Love all the pictures ?
Hi Jessica – thank you so so very much for your kind and encouraging words. <3 I feel like it is my duty to share as openly and realistically as I can about this whole mom journey. <3
I am THE WORST about taking time for myself and it always ends up worse for everyone….mostly my children ? My husband is always trying to get me to make time for myself with a yoga class, shopping trip, or whatever else but I feel so guilty for doing anything without my children. That being said, I’m going to try this week to take a WHOLE AFTERNOON for myself. Wish me luck, lol. Anyways, keep rocking on mama. You’re fabulous ?
Ah Cindy! Thanks so much for your honest and vulnerable comment. Hopefully we can all see that this is something that we feel a level of guilt for but appreciate that the benefits of it are worth it. <3
My son used to do the same pose! We called it his Calvin Klein pose lol. He also refused any time we tried to sit him up so we stopped trying and just let him sit on his own when he was ready. I later read that babies who learn to sit on their own make this side pose because that’s how they naturally learn to sit, pushing up from the side. So adorable!
YES! I have always told my family that I think this is his precursor to sitting on his own!
I love your post and up dates on Finn, he is precious! I believe you have the prefect mix on your blog!
Thanks so much Wendy! 🙂
We started both of our daughters young at play places and museums. We always found that the first one or two times they were simply overwhelmed with the new space and so many things to look at, but by the second or third time they started to really appreciate it. Now our oldest is 3 and our youngest is 15 months and they both loves these places.
You should never, ever feel guilty for getting a babysitter for you time. I’m not a single mom, but I know that I often feel guilty for leaving both kids with my husband so I can have you time. So guilty that I didn’t do it for a really, really long time. I’ll tell you what, mom burnout is real and if it hits, it’s really bad. So take that you time and enjoy it! You deserve it!
Thank you so much for the feedback on overwhelming public situations and also for the encouragement around taking time for myself. <3
I enjoy your posts now just as much as I did years ago! It helps that I have a little boy who is a bit older than Finn, at 18 months. The balance of motherhood, recipes, and workouts is perfect for me, but I love how you encourage readers who may not be vibing with this stage in your life/blog to move away if it no longer serves them.
Another note on the fitness content: I am LOVING the at home workouts you’re sharing. I also had to invest in dumbells and a kettlebell once I realized getting to the gym was much harder to do with a toddler at home. I’ve been trying pretty much every workout you post lately.
We just started a parent-tot gymnastics class at 18 months, and I think that’s the perfect age to start (even though he had been walking since 12 months). I used to teach these types of classes in college, and it can be a LOT of work for the parent if the child isn’t really ready yet, and nobody has much fun then. I am sure you and Finn will have a blast if you try later this year.
Hey Tanya, thank you so much for your comment. I feel so strongly that we all evolve as humans. You DO NOT have to stay the same. We are allowed to change, we are allowed to try different things and ways of being. <3
I appreciate the feedback on the home workouts! I will post more! 🙂
I don’t yet have children but love all your posts and motherhood/Finn updates. Regarding Finn and the girls interacting more… SO sweet! Babies + their dogs = the absolute best. 🙂
YES! Babies and dogs are the best ever.
I’m just gonna say it – mom guilt is REAL and ever present. Almost 6 years into this being a mom life, I still feel it at times when I try to or even just want to take time for myself! But like you said, it’s so incredibly important to give yourself that time to recharge. We can’t give from empty cups, so letting yourself reset with some “me” time helps us be the best moms we can be.
As for when my kiddos started to get into activities – it depended on what the activity was. For sure once they started pulling up, walking, and climbing (all increasingly scary in some ways), a lot of new options opened up and they got interested in more. The coolest thing is all is that they sometimes rediscover or come back to things they had no interest in previously – so be willing to retry activities at different ages. 🙂
Thank you for this honest feedback about the mom guilt. <3 And for the encouraging words about revisiting activities! 🙂
I also have a hard time taking time away from our son. But I work in a corporate job so am away from him 10 hours a day during the week. 🙁 As a result, I don’t want to do anything that takes me away from him on the weekend. I needed some “me time” recently so I took a day off work to get a massage and haircut. That seems to be the best solution for me. I pretty much say no to anything during the day on the weekend that doesn’t involve him, unless it’s an important or special occasion (like going to my nephew’s confirmation mass). Otherwise if I can’t bring Paul, I say no. I feel bad that I’m not prioritizing friendships right now but I keep reminding myself that this is a phase of life and that it won’t always be like this! My situation is unique as I had kids way later than my college friends so they are in a completely different stage of life with kids in school/activities/etc. So play dates don’t really work since their kids are waaaay older than Paul. But luckily my husband’s friends have similar-aged kids so we try to get together with them occasionally so I can get some social time in.
Until you have a baby, you just don’t know how it will impact your life! And it’s different for everyone! I didn’t expect to have such a hard time being away from our son. So I’ve had to adjust my schedule to maximize the time with him on nights/weekends.
I cannot agree with you more on your “until you have a baby, you just don’t know how it will impact your life.” I thought I knew but I had NO IDEA. I think we have to give ourselves so much grace around that.
Hi Jen! I’ve only been reading for about a year and a half (when I started baking sourdough!) but I love your blog. I think since Finn, it has almost become more authentic. Anyway, hope you have a good Tuesday! -Megan
thank you so much Megan – I really appreciate you reading and your feedback. And yay for sourdough! 🙂
I’m not a mom, but I really enjoy your updates whether they’re more mom-centric or fitness-centric (and a bit of both!). I think one reason I keep reading this blog when I’ve moved away from most fitness blogs is because you have that undercurrent of blogging about life.
I can’t relate to mom guilt but I do research development and, for what it’s worth, I think it’s really healthy for Finn to spend some time with other people. Of course you want to maximize that time with him but it’s especially good that he’s spending time with his dad – so many kids miss out on quality time with both parents. (And I know you probably didn’t mean this, but your paragraph above read to me like you’re calling Finn’s dad a sitter when of course he’s not, he’s Finn’s parent. Saying that dads “babysit” is a pet peeve of mine so I wanted to mention it even though I imagine it was unintentional!)
Oh wow, thanks Mandy! This comment and feedback is so helpful! 🙂
And THANK YOU for the insight on Finn spending time with others. I totally agree that it’s important that he spends time with his father. And I am WITH YOU that dads are not babysitters. That has always irritated me too! I think I meant it more that I felt guilty taking time away from Finn when it was my time to spend with him…whether it was his dad or anyone else.
Mom guilt… it’s the worst. My kids are much older (think, teens) and I still feel guilty taking time out of our limited time together to do things for me! Thankfully, my husband has always been on board and encouraged me to go – even when I didn’t see how much I needed to do so! I can tell you not to feel guilty, but that’s just not helpful. Instead, I’d say, try to remember that if you take care of yourself, you’ll be better able to take care of Finn.
Even though my kids are older, I love the Finn updates and feel like I know you guys – makes wonder what I would do if I ran into the two of you out & about! He’s so cute, and I have to say – you’re rocking this mom gig! I appreciate your honesty about the ups and downs of being a mom. I’m done having babies, but the service you are doing for new / expectant moms by sharing reality is so very valuable. It’s hard as heck to be a mom sometimes, and other times it’s the sweetest part of life. You share this balance with us in a beautiful way. Keep up the good work, momma!!
Hi Lisa – thank you so much for the extremely kind and insightful comment. Gosh, it is so sweet and so hard at the same time but I feel like it’s my dharma to write honestly about it. <3 And I hope you’ll say HI if you see us out and about! 🙂
I’m about to be a mom to a boy (currently chugging along at 40.5 weeks!) and I LOVE reading all of your Finn updates and enjoy reading back through your weekly pregnancy updates as I hit each week. Any advice on buying clothes for Finn? As a first-time-mom I’m struggling with what sizes to buy and what he will fit into and when! I like to plan ahead and get stuff on sale, but I am kind of clueless as to the sizing, especially for boys since they can be bigger. What worked/works best for you?
AHHH Shannon, congrats! He is probably here by the time that I am responding to this comment!
We did need some newborn stuff for the first few weeks. Then lots of 0-3! Just make sure to buy for the season that matches the age he is in! That’s probably my best advice. 🙂
Keep sharing your book recommendations! I’ve read a couple you’ve shared and I’ve really liked them. I’m always looking for something new to read.
Aw yay! Happy to hear this. I will!
I Love the Finn updates!! Maybe it helps that my son is a few months younger so I can get insight on what’s to come, but love hearing you talk about mom life and your growing boy! I feel the same about working out/going to a yoga practice. Really have to fight the guilt to get out and do it, but man – I feel like a whole new person afterwards, and that’s got to be good for everyone around me – including my son. It’s definitely hard though!
I hear you loud and clear! I just really try to focus on that “after feeling” and let go of the guilt. <3
I’ve always loved your blog & appreciate it even more now that you include motherhood! It’s great motivation to those who are trying to balance it all- work, fitness, motherhood etc. So keep doing what your doing! Your amazing!
I have a 3 year old little boy & a little girl on the way(27 weeks along). I always feel that same guilt when I have me time. But I feel like it definitely helps make me a better mom 🙂
AHH congrats on your baby girl! I’m so excited for you!
Thanks so much for the kind words about my blog! xo
Try not to feel guilty about taking time to take care of yourself. It will make you a better mom! I wish I would have taken time for myself when mine were younger. As a parent of teens & tweens, it took me a really long time to learn this.
Thank you so much for sharing this Michelle. I really appreciate the insight of others who have walked it before. <3
I feel like different ages enjoy different experiences. Like my daughter didn’t notice or see certain things for a long time so I wouldn’t take her to a zoo or museum. I’m about spending $$ on activities when she can actually enjoy and benefit. Then when she was 2 we did a lot of that the museums and adventures. Now she’s 3 and acts like she is scared of animals even though we talk about them all the time so I’m not sure if we are making it to the zoo or not this summer! They change all the time, I just try to observe where she is at and her interests and go with it. For a long time she enjoyed walks in the stroller now she is more opinionated and will get upset if we walk and do not stop at the park, etc. It just keeps changing and you evolve with them.
This is AWESOME feedback! Thank you!
Olivia is 15 months now and I would say in the last month or so it’s started to be really fun to bring her to play centres. Like we did a drop-in at the gymnastics centre on Saturday morning and she LOVED it. Being able to walk super confidently and climb on things help!
Mom guilt is so real, and it’s hit me in ways I haven’t expected. For example, my mom watches her full-time while I work and I usually feel guilty if I’m late picking her up. I also feel guilty the 2-3 times per week that I teach fitness classes and leave her at home with my husband. I don’t necessarily feel guilty about leaving her / not being with her as I know she is with people who love and dote on her just as much as I do, but I more feel guilty about getting others to help take care of her. It’s weird. I try to just power through it though and remind myself over and over and over again that you have to fill up your own cup first, put on your own oxygen mask first etc. I believe that by filling up my own cup, I am a better mother.
Love your blog. Finn is so dang cute. That picture of him in the stroller with his huge grin and hair sticking up made me smile so much!
Hey Amber, thanks for sharing your experience with the play center things.
Gosh, I can TOTALLY relate to feeling guilty when you are teaching fitness classes. On so many levels.
And thank you for the kind words about my blog and Finn. He’s such a sweet and fun boy. I am lucky to be his mom.
I love that you’re including so much about Finn and being a mom on the blog! Please don’t change a thing 🙂
Thank you so much Tracy. xx
First of all – I love your blog. I always have but since you becoming a mom I feel much more connected with your content and can hear/read you so clearly. Not that I ever thought you were hiding behind words before but it just seems like there is more truth and openeness now and I totally appreciate it.
My son was always a momma’s boy and would cling to me at play groups. He would never go off and play with the other kids and would either just sit with me while I talked to the other moms or make me go play with him. We kept going though and I remember the first time he actually went off and played with the other kids all by himself. I was so proud of him and I also really enjoyed the time talking with the other moms. I guess kids grow into their experiences we just can’t give up and providing those experiences for them. So, even if Finn seems ‘too young’ it’s still great for him!
I don’t think the guilt ever goes away. Even if it does about taking the time to workout there will be guilt about something else!
Thank you so much for these words. You have no idea how much they have touched me. Since this entry into motherhood, I have felt broke open to the point of feeling that it’s my dharma to be more open in an effort to serve the world.
I really love your share. How sweet on so many levels.
Kombucha is made from tea (usually black or green) and thus generally has caffeine. ?
Yes true but not NEARLY as much as this coffee drink that I had. Holy crap!
Hi Jen! My two cents worth on making time for yourself as a mom is this: do it often and you will be a better mom for it. I wish I had done more of it when my two were babies but I didn’t make it a priority and as a result I almost disappeared up my own backside. Before you were Finn’s mom you were Jen, and it’s so important not to lose your identity. I did, and it took a long time and some hard work on myself, (thank you TT!) to get back to feeling more like myself…
Wow Vicki, thank you for such a vulnerable share. I love what you said about who I was before being Finn’s mom. <3 Being his mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me but I also know that I still need to “stay me.” <3
I think that pose is totally “hey, ladies”.
Never, ever let yourself feel guilt when you take time for you! It makes you a better mom and human being.
Totally a hey ladies pose! Haha. And thank you for the reassurance. <3
I found your blog about a year ago and loved your writing so much that I read back from the beginning. I feel like we’d be friends in real life.
Your life has changed a lot but whose hasn’t? I really enjoy your style of blogging where you just talk about your life and what is really happening. It’s not all sponsored content and picture perfect posing in good lighting. That gets old.
Even though I’m not a mom I LOVE hearing about your life with Finn and the girls and what you do/eat on a daily basis. You’re a real person and no joke that kid of yours is legit cute!
Just my two cents on it.
I’d love to take one of your classes one day and will if I’m ever in your area!
Wow Mary, thank you so much for taking the time to share such an insightful comment. I am grateful for you and for your kind words. <3 I’m so glad that you took a moment to comment and connect.
I found some free “baby time” classes at my local public library that my daughter loved. It was also great for me to get out of the house and see other moms, when she was so young. We did this until she was about 1 year old. I think around 18 months we started more “early learning” “mom and me” activities. These were fun too. The classes were geared exactly for her age range, which helped. Looking back, it wasn’t so much necessary for her as it was for me to get out of the house, and I also felt I was helping promote her socialization! 🙂
Thank you so much for the feedback and suggestions! Yes, getting out of the house is always a positive thing when you are caring for a baby!
Awe this was such a great read! Thanks for sharing!
-Kate
You are very welcome!
Love this! As a new mom I’m definitely still working on allowing myself dime me time. I’m booking a massage for myself now!
YAY! Enjoy that massage!
Hi Jen – I think it’s great you are able to take time to go to get out on your own ..I didn’t have the help to get away when my first two kids were little and I felt quite trapped , like I had been cheated out of my old self and life in a way. That sounds pretty bleak but we weren’t near family and my husband wasn’t home much, so it was mostly just me.
Finally, I found a sitter and it was deamed ok ok for me to get out once in a while and I started to have a mother’s time out a couple mornings a week. Hallelujah! ?