I’m in the home stretch of the fourth trimester and these weekly updates will be coming to a close shortly. I will likely transition to a monthly postpartum update until Finn’s first birthday.
I’m so glad that I decided to write about the immediate postpartum period because I’ve connected with so many women who have found them to be helpful and relatable. I’ve also had so many of you tell me that you enjoyed “reliving” the early days through what I’ve shared.
Giving a voice to the fourth trimester is important to me because I think that it’s a very unique, hard and vulnerable time in a mother and infant’s life that doesn’t receive enough attention.
From a technical standpoint, the fourth trimester is the first 12 weeks of a baby’s life outside of the womb. It’s a time of huge change for both baby and mom. Baby is going through massive shifts in adapting to brand new world and mom is going through massive hormonal changes in addition to adjusting to all that come with bringing home a baby (whether it’s your first or fourth!).
All that to say…it’s a pretty wild time of life that nothing can truly prepare you for until you walk through it. It’s been the craziest but most beautiful time of my life and one thing I keep coming back to over and over again is how freaking amazing the mom tribe is.
When I first announced my pregnancy, I was struck by people who replied, “you’re going to be a great mom.” I was like, “wow…that is the nicest compliment ever because I have no idea what I’m getting myself into.” It was a confidence builder that I didn’t even know I needed. Those comments touched my heart deeply.
Through my pregnancy I was blown away by how open and honest other moms were in sharing their experience and their knowledge. I truly don’t believe that I’ve ever had that kind of open and honest dialogue with so many women in my life! So THANK YOU to all of you who took the time to email, comment and message me throughout my pregnancy when I asked so many questions. I deeply value the insight you offered and it has been an amazing resource to me and so many others.
And now as a new mother, I continue to be amazed by the outpouring of love and support that I’ve been offered by other mothers. When I shared my birth story, so many other women called me a warrior. I can’t tell you how much healing that one word brought me. When Finn was days old and I was walking around the house holding him and in tears, I had friends quietly drop gifts and groceries at the front door. A friend of mine from college whose mom lives here in Charlotte brought me a meal, a diaper bag and gifted me a massage with her favorite therapist and offered to watch Finn while I got it. One woman gifted me an American Airlines gift certificate so that I could visit my family. Another Charlotte mom of a six month old who reads my blog dropped off a delicious meal on my front porch. A mom of five filled up my freezer with freezer meals that she batch cooks once a month in order to feed her family home-cooked meals. I’ve had other moms reach out and invite me to come to their homes if I ever need to get out of mine. I’ve had friends just come and sit with me in my own home. I could keep going for hundreds more words. The kindness has been awe-inspiring.
From the outside looking in, you hear a lot about moms being a tough group and that a lot of judging and shaming happens. While I know that exists, what I have experienced gives me hope that there is another way and that we as women can be champions for each other and help fellow women feel like warriors in their own lives.
I have never felt so loved, supported or seen as I have through pregnancy, childbirth and new motherhood, and to get that from other women has been the most incredible blessing. To say that it has inspired me would be a massive understatement. I pray that I can give back to others in an equally selfless, beautiful and loving way. It’s my hope that I’m starting here by sharing my experience of motherhood in an unfiltered and honest way. We do each other a wonderful service by sharing vulnerably and as a new mom, it helps so much with not feeling alone in finding your way in a totally new role and lifestyle.
So that’s where I’m at for my nine week postpartum recap. It took me hours to write this post between feedings, cat naps, rocking and shushing and diaper changes but I’m full of gratitude. Stretched to my emotional limits. And so ready to give back.
I’ve had so many women who I know in my “real life” and also those from the online world whom I’ve never met reach out and say that they are here for me should I need support, advice or just an ear. Please know that goes both ways and I am here holding space for all of you too.
Love,
Jen
What a beautifully written post Jen. I am so happy you have received such love and support during your pregnancy and first few months as a mother. I hope my experience one day will be similar. <3 <3
Thank you Katherine and I hope this kind of kindness is something that we women can share with each other whether we are mothers or not. I wish it was the norm.
How beautiful. I’m so, so happy that you’ve received such an outpouring of support. We are here for you. And you will be fine. And you’re doing a wonderful job with Finn.
Thank you Joy, truly.
I can’t thank you enough for all that you share. I get so excited every time I see a post from you, and you have been an inspiration for me to be more vulnerable with people in my life. Also, every picture of Finn on this post is his new cutest picture!! His personality is really starting to shine through. Made my day 🙂
Oh thank you Elizabeth! Your comment made my night. I appreciate your kindness so much.
I love love reading your mom posts because I relate to so much of it, having given birth just a few weeks before you. You write so beautifully and it makes me so happy to hear and see women uplifting and supporting other women, rather than than judging and shaming. This 4th trimester can really be a beautiful thing. Keep on keepin on, you are rocking this momma!
Thank you Sarah! xx
This fills my heart and soul SO much!! Thank you for sharing and that tribe (which I am not yet apart of) sounds amazing and those gestures from others are just incredible! You deserve it!!!! 🙂
Thank you Nicki! It’s so wonderful to see women being so good to each other. It’s something we can do regardless of whether we are mothers!
So beautiful. And best part is all of the conversations being made in the comments might be helpful for so many women, not just you. This is internet at it’s best ❤️ And you hold the space, Jen.
I can’t agree with you more when you say this is the internet at its best. Here’s to more of THAT!
This post is so, so lovely. Brought a little smile to my face as I remembered my own post-partum period and the wonderful generosity that so many people exhibited. Pregnancy and babies really bring people together! No one can resist a cute little squish or a chunky thigh roll. I’ve had both ends of the spectrum – super nice or super shame-based. It can be very hit and miss, but I’m glad you’ve only received love and kindness. That is all a person needs in this up-and-down period of learning and hormones! You (and every other mum) totally deserve(s) it!
xo, Victoria
Yes Victoria – moms need cheering on, love and support during this extremely vulnerable time in life. I’m so glad that you had a good experience during your postpartum time.
I can’t agree with this enough! I gave birth to my daughter a few weeks before you had Finn and totally relate. My girlfriends were so amazing, but I’m most in awe of my mom, who basically took over in those early days. She was able to simultaneously teach me how to be a mom and also parent me as I became a mom.
I can’t agree with you more on how amazing moms are at this time in life. <3
wow how wonderful. this gives me hope that as women we can do as you say and stop shaming each other, judging, etc. especially in this day in age we need each other so much.
YES Tara!
Finn is absolutely adorable. And I love hearing stories about women empowering other women! It warms my heart and gives me hope for the future.
YES! It gives me so much hope in a world that can sometimes feel so disconnected.
Beautifully said ~ you are a WARRIOR!!!
Thank you Kim. <3
hi Jen. I always look forward to reading your posts. My kids are in college and I am enjoying ‘reliving’ those early days with them through you and Finn. Thank you for being so honest with all of us. Finn is very lucky to have such a caring mom! I love watching how fast he is growing! Such a cutie! Stay well – your smile is so beautiful!
Susan – thank you for reading and following along. I am grateful for your kind words. xo
This was absolutely beautiful. I love reading posts from you and seeing pictures of little Finn. He is getting so big and cute as a button. I am glad that you have been getting help fromothers. You deserve it. Finn is lucky to have you as a mom. Keep up the great work. We are here to support you.
Thank you so much for your kindness!
You’re amazing Jen! I’m an extremely emotional person so it’s very easy for me to relate when you talk about being emotional throughout this (on so many levels) and I know that I’ll be emotional when I have a child and the fact that you are so vulnerable and share so much is very helpful. Know that you are not alone, everyone’s situations and stories are unique but everyone is fighting their own battles and opening up about it can show that there is more good out there than bad 🙂
Thank you Blaire, I appreciate your encouragement. And yes, everything about pregnancy and childbirth has been super emotional for me even without the added challenges.