If you haven’t read Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, you are missing out. It was hands down THE most influential book that I read in 2013…to the point where it has created changes in my behavior in several aspects of my life. It’s all about embracing vulnerability and imperfection and living wholeheartedly in a world full of disconnection that is longing for connection. I’m not going to go in-depth on the book in this post but just read some of these quotes from Daring Greatly on Good Reads and feel the power in those words. LOVE.
I wanted to share one takeaway from the book that has totally changed the way I interact with others lately.
I make a conscious effort to put down my iPhone and make eye contact with people when I’m being helped at the bank, going through a drive thru, checking out at the grocery store, etc.
In her book Brene Brown writes,
“Recently, on my way home, I stopped at Barnes & Noble to pick up a magazine. The woman ahead of me in line bought two books, applied for a new “reader card,” and asked to get one book gift-wrapped without getting off her cell phone. She plowed through the entire exchange without making eye contact or directly speaking to the young woman working at the counter. She never acknowledged the presence of the human being across from her.
After leaving the Barnes & Noble, I went to a drive-through fast food restaurant to get a Diet Dr. Pepper. Right as I pulled up to the window, my cell phone rang. I wasn’t quite sure, but I thought it might be (my son) Charlie’s school calling, so I answered it. It wasn’t the school–it was someone calling to confirm an appointment. I got off the phone as soon as I could. In the short time it took me to say, ‘Yes, I’ll be at my appointment,’ the woman in the window and I had finished our soda-for-money transaction. I said, ‘I’m so sorry. The phone rang right when I was pulling up and I thought it was my son’s school.’ I must have surprised her because she got huge tears in her eyes and said, ‘Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea how humiliating it is sometimes. They don’t even see us.’”
That passage from the book has stuck with me for months now and I now go out of my way to not only put my phone away but to ask the person how their day is going. And it feels really, really nice.
Have you read Daring Greatly? Are you guilty of phone disconnection?
I will randomly gift a copy of Daring Greatly on Audible to someone who leaves a comment on this post (that hasn’t read it) GAME CHANGER.
i’ve heard about this book and have been wanting to read it. I need a cell phone dextox too!
This books sounds amazing! Inspiring!
I hadn’t heard about it but it sounds great, thank you for sharing. It’s so sad how people can barely communicate verbally and face to face these days. I make my friends put their phones away when we hang out, otherwise everyone would be on their phones the whole time. I think it’s so rude and like the last passage you quoted said, it makes other people feel like they aren’t good enough/ worth your time by being on your phone. Thanks again for sharing!
I’ve heard it’s great. Would love to read it.
I definitely need to check this out! I know we’re all guilty of it at times, but it’s so frustrating to see everyone so consumed by their phones out in public!
I love that idea-cell phones, smart phones in particular are ruining our society and human interactions-would love to read/hear this book!
Mindfulness and being present are things I’m working on this year. Any help is welcomed!
I haven’t read the book either – but what would be a good idea is to have a post where people can contribute the one action that they incorporated into their lives because of the book. Similar to the random acts of kindness posts but with a book club under tone. It may be me being selfish but I need continuous motivation to be a better person and this will help. Even if it just lasts for a day. 🙂
love it.
Sounds like a great read, I would love to win it. Thanks for doing a giveaway 🙂
Great post and I am going to make changes– I am always running from point A to B and the phone is always a part of that! Tomorrow I am making changes! Thank you!
Working in customer service myself- I can attest that it makes a world of difference when you make a small connection with customers! Sounds like a great book- would love to read it 🙂
I haven’t read it, but I’ve watched a “Ted Talk” by Brene Brown and she is an engaging, powerful speaker! I’m sure her book is fantastic.
I just saw her recently on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday! Her books are definitely on my to-read list.
LOVE THIS!!! I haven’t seen or read the book, but I do TRY to always make sure I’m not on my phone when interacting in “customer service” transactions. We’ve lost so much interaction with people because of technology and it’s really sad! We really need to slow down and take the time to actually look at and acknowledge the face of the person who is SERVING us! I’d love to read the rest of the book!
I’ve listened to her Ted Talks — amazing. I’d love to read this book!
Sounds like a great read! Thanks for another great giveaway
I’ve heard great things about that book, and I actually just put a hold on it at our library today. Evidently all of Birmingham wants to read it because I’m way down the line. I’d love to have my own copy. Such good words in that quote. Thanks for the giveaway!
I LOVE Brene Brown. All her books are fantastic.
I have wanted to read this book for a while!
Have not read the book but def want to check it out. I see so much “impersonal-ness” due to smartphones, technology, etc that I’m amazed/frightened! Technological advancement is important, don’t get me wrong, but not to the point where we miss out on basic human interaction right in front of us. I worked retail in college and saw this all the time, while trying to providing service you felt as though you were interrupting a customer’s personal conversation!
This sounds like a great read! I had a similar experience the other day when I hung up with my mother while I was checking out at the liquor store, and the clerk thanked me for getting off the phone. I’ll have to start asking people how their day is going – it can never hurt to be a little kinder to everyone we encounter.
I commute as a nurse over 2 hrs and would love having the audible version of this book. I haven’t read it and feel it would help me deal with the adversity my family and I are facing.
I would love to read this book. As with most things, good manners and making connections takes repetition to become habit. For the past 6 weeks or so I’ve made a conscious effort to be kinder and more engaged with strangers (living in a big city most of my non-work exchanges tend to be with people I don’t yet know). It’s been amazing to realize that leading with kindness now feels like the default way to be rather than a forced or conscious effort.
Thank you for sharing
This book sounds like it would be an interesting and worthwhile read! It seems it is incredibly difficult to stay “present” sometimes these days with all of the technology at our finger tips.
This story really hit home for me! I have been consciously trying to put my phone down when I am with friends and family, but this really reminded me that every interaction that I have is important and that I need to extend the same practice to those interactions.
I’d love to read it!
I haven’t read this book but it sounds like it would really be an eye-opener.
Love this idea!! So guilty of it too. Miss you, friend!
I would love to read this! BTW, what about the people that wear blue tooth headsets and ignore people? Rude!
I would love to read this book. As a principal, I believe that looking people in the eye when communicating is crucial.
Adding to my list now 🙂
I really need to apply this – as well as when sitting in restaurants – everyone seems to get their phone out – isn’t the point to be with each other?
I haven’t read it and would love to. My Mom has always taught me to do the same so I strive to put down my phone and connect with people on a daily basis.
Haven’t read it, but read through the quotes you posted. WOW. It made me tear up. Very simply profound. Thanks so much for sharing this. I will get the book regardless. Can’t wait for all the ways it will further change how I interact with people.
I haven’t read it – it sounds interesting!
I have seen her ted talk before and loved it. This sounds like an inspiring read!
I can’t wait to read it!
The book sounds great! We need to remember we are interacting with PEOPLE, not things. But instead we chose to interact with our things as people, and treat the people around us as things. Thanks for the reminder!
I would love to read it! It sounds like just the book to inspire and motivate me to get my business plan in order and work towards running my business full time and leaving my corporate day job. Thanks, Jen!
Sounds like a thought provoking book that I would love to read!
I haven’t heard of this book, but in 2014 I’ve been making aconscious effort to slow down and “see”the people I interact with. It sounds like I need to read it 🙂
I haven’t read the book (yet), but it sounds great. I’m working on keeping the iPhone in my purse when we’re out together, and making sure ex enjoy each other’s company.
I worked at Starbucks for over 2 years, and the number of people won’t put the phone down for the 45 seconds it takes to order is awful. It’s like they truly believe the person taking their order isn’t worth the time. It really can be humiliating. :-/
*to enjoy. Stupid autocorrect. :-/
I have never read the book but I always make eye contact with people and always ask them how there day is going. I make it a point to tell those in customer service I appreciate them.
Thanks for sharing .
Haven’t read the book but I would like to win it and give it to a few of my friends…I am the person that often doesn’t answer her phone or return texts immediately because the phone is PUT AWAY when I’m doing something important, like hanging out w/ friends or spending quality quiet time w/ my husband. My biggest pet peeve is when my dear, close friends leave their cell phone on the table when we are out for drinks or dinner – and force me to look at pictures of something or a video on YouTube. We are there to TALK, to hang out, not to watch a silly little screen. Ugh. Can you tell I’m over the SmartPhone invasion??? 😉
Wow, that story really hits home. I’m definitely guilty of phone disconnection, even with my own family. I try to make a conscious effort to put the phone away at dinner and to make eye contact in conversations wherever I am, but I must admit that the phone is still out and in use a lot of the time. Thanks for this eye-opening perspective! The book sounds very fascinating.
I would love a new read!!! This book sounds inspiring!
I would love to read the book. Thanks for sharing…I wasn’t aware of the book.
Inspired by this post! Thanks for the reminder 🙂
I try really hard not to be too glued to my phone. I’m in college, and what bother me most of all is when people go on their phones/random internet sites during class. Is it that hard to listen to a lecture from a professional in the field for 50 minutes?!
I would LOVE to read this book, and especially share it with my friends 😉
It is a wonderful book. Putting down your phone while interacting with clerks is simply polite. Her quote from the drive-thru employee that ‘They don’t even see us’ is heart-breaking. We need to treat all people that we interact with with respect. We can all be polite and still embrace technology.
Sounds like a great book!
After working in food service for years and having to deal with rude people talking on the phone the entire time, I decided to never use my phone while in a store or restaurant. I think it makes a difference in the kind of service I receive.
Very guilty of phone disconnection – even with the people I am closest to! Would love to read it.
I just ordered the book! In a real book, not audible! Figured I would highlight it up! ha! Love your blog!
I refuse to get a smart phone for that exact reason. I added that book to my “to-read” list on goodreads. Thanks for the recommendation!
Just shared this one Facebook! That message touched me so much! Thank you for writing it. Also, obviously would love to read *hear* her book!
completely sounds like something I need to read- then pass on to my husband!
It is a major pet peeve of mine the way people act with their phones. Thank you for sharing this! It is definitely a reminder that everyone needs! Adding the book to my list 🙂
I don’t have a smart phone and don’t want one because seeing how attached people are to their phones makes me uncomfortable. I believe it’s common courtesy to not be on the phone when you interact with others. I may be old-fashioned, but I believe in always greeting everyone who waits on you and treating them like a human being.
I haven’t read the book but really like what you’ve said about it. I always try to make eye contact and conversation when I’m checking out of a store/similar situations. Makes it more pleasant for me AND them!
I haven’t read the book but I’m a huge fan of Brene Brown and your post inspired me to buy it! I am woefully guilty of using my cell phone during all sorts of shopping or service transactions and it really is inappropriate. Thank you for this!
I haven’t read this book, but absolutely feel like I must. I do try to not be on my phone will checking out at the grocery store etc., but I do find myself mindlessly scrolling through my phone while have an actual CONVERSATION with my husband, mother etc. I’ve become so aware of this lately, and it makes me feel so ashamed. People are so more important than what is happening on my phone! Trying to be more thoughtful in all interactions in my daily life. It’s time.
I haven’t read this book, but have wanted to. I will say though, that I never stay on my phone when I am checking out or paying for something. I think my mother would slap me silly if she saw me do that. She says she didn’t raise her daughter to be that rude.
Desperately need this book!
Thanks for sharing this excerpt and your thoughts. I haven’t read that book but just ordered another book by her, The Gifts of Imperfection. She is so wise and her insights are so simple and yet profound.
It’s not directly related to mobile phones, but I am often amazed by how genuinely touched cashiers, servers, etc., are when I make a point of smiling at them and telling them to have a great day or asking them how they are. Not long ago a female server did a double take and laughed as she said, “no one ever asks me that.” It’s sad in a way, but all I can do is control my own actions, so I will continue to try and add a moment of connection to as many exchanges as I can!
Happy Friday! xo
I’m a huge fan of her TED talks. I recommend them to clients all the time. She’s a very good speaker and you really feel motivated by her emotion.
I recently went to a spiritual retreat and we watched her Ted Talk on vulnerability. The leader encouraged us to read Daring Greatly, and now after hearing your testimony I definitely want to even more. I needed the encouragement to be vulnerable and transform my life. Thanks.
That sounds like an amazing book! It’s amazing how the smallest things can change someone’s day. Kind of like your 26 Random Acts project that I participated in last year. Sometimes we just need to force ourselves to disconnect, and be more present.
I always make a point to get off the phone before checking out at the grocery store and they always thank me and say how rare that is. Sad. I need to be better about keeping my phone away when I’m around friends and family!
I’d love I read/listen to this book! I loved her last book I listened to!
I was just talking to my clients about how disgusting it is how everyone is on their phone or looking at their phone 24/7, while driving, walking, sitting, etc. We have lost touch with knowing how to communicate and look someone straight in the eyes and I am 100% guilty of this too, but working on putting that darn phone DOWN.
I don’t know if I would call myself anti-tech (I own a MacBook, iPhone, high-end DSLR, etc) but I hate the path our society is headed down. I’m worried that our youth are not going to know how to respectfully communicate with another human face-to-face, that they won’t know how to write a term paper with correct grammar and punctuation. My husband and I pocket our phones when we are out to dinner. I will finish a convo before going through the checkout line. I agree with you: please put the phone down and be present in the moment …
I haven’t heard of this book. I would love to read it and sounds like I need to!
i have never heard of this book but am very intrigued.
i try to make a conscious effort to put my phone down when interacting too–i know i wouldn’t appreciate it if i was on the other end and being ignored.
I have NOT read this but you have me so INTRIGUED. I need to practice these concepts.
i never read it but you have me intrigued!
i hate being on my cell phone in public – even if i’m out walking the dog – i find it so rude. of course there are times it’s a necessity but i always just try to relax and take in the scenery instead.
loved brene brown’s TED talk.. would love to read the book!
I read gifts of imperfection and I would love to listen to daring greatly!
Ugh, I am so bad with my cell phone. I’d love to read/listen to this book.
I did the same thing last night when checking out at Gap and now I feel so bad! I clearly need this book.
I have a bad habit of leaving one of my headphones in with music on as I’m buying coffee or checking out at the drug store. I interact with people, but still its not whole-hearted. This was some great food for thought, Jen!
I read Daring Greatly and the gifts of imperfection. SO GOOD!!! I’m learning to be more vulnerable and did the Oprah and Brene E-course recently and I highly recommend it too. It’s so hard to believe so many of us aren’t present and how it can really make a difference in our relationships.
I haven’t read the book. I try to never talk on the phone while interacting with others, whether it is a stranger or someone in my own house/family. I find the importance of the person who i am interacting with in person is far greater than trying to “catch up/keep up” on my phone. Plus, i just don’t really prefer texting/talking on the phone to human interaction.
You just never know when you are going to interact with someone and ask a simple question of “how is it going for you today?” that may change the course of their next actions.
Sounds like a great book! I too have worked to make an effort to get my phone out of my face, it is sad to think how attached we have become to devices.
I have not read it but have heard about from co-workers and friends and have it on my reading list. I have been consciously making an effort to also be more present in my day to activities, and among other things, mindful. Time magazine also had a great article recently about being mindful and taking accountability. Maybe one day our culture will fight back against technology and remember how to enjoy fresh air, laugh, play and cherish the moment we are in.
This book is on my “To Read” list and your post about it just reinforces why I need to read it sooner rather than later! So nice to see a book inspiring positive change…and in such simple, yet meaningful ways!
That book sounds like quite an inspiring read. Cool!
Love the quote from the book you posted. It made me stop to think about how my actions affect even strangers around me. Would love to read the book!
Having this book would be an immense supplement to my life right now! Hope I win!
I’ve never heard of the book before but I figure it’s gotta be good if both Gretchen Rubin and Daniel Pink reviewed it. I’m such a sucker for positive psychology stuff.
I have one step up from a flip phone-so no phone disconnection for me!
I would love to read it!
I have not read Daring Greatly, but our boss did show our entire team her Ted Talk, which was great. I try really hard to not be on my phone in social situation and I have a few friends who consistently are, which drives me crazy. Another thing I try to do, which is kind of similar, is address people by name and thank them by name. I know I really like when someone does that for me and it makes me feel like there is genuine acknowledgement of the interaction.
always looking for new things to read and this sounds really great!
Wow! Definitely want to read the book. Being more present to each and every person I encounter is one of my NY resolutions. You’re right, It feels really nice!
I LOVE Brene. Her TED talk was a game changer for me. I gifted Daring Greatly and Gifts of Imperfection to my mom this year for xmas, but I haven’t read them myself yet!
I am part of a small group w/in my church & as a result of our current topic, I too, have been making more of an effort to connect w/ strangers (even if it’s just making eye contact & smiling) at the grocery store, at the bank, in restaurants, etc. It’s a really good feeling!
This book sounds amazing. I can’t wait to read it!
LOVE this!! I’m going to work (harder) on this starting right now. Thank you for sharing.
I’d love to read the book! I haven’t read any of her books yet, but I fell in love when I saw the TED Talks on Vulnerability — an area in which I need to massively improve 😉
That sounds like an amazing book! I definitely try to be more conscientious about using my cell phone around others and have started noticing how disconnected everyone is. When I go to a restaurant it seems everyone is on their phone, couples on dates not talking to each other, kids being “kept busy” with parents’ phones, the list goes on. It really is quite sad.
Everyone is looking for a connection in this crazy world! Would love to read this amazing book!
I would love to read this book!
Sounds like a great book! Technology is awesome but we can’t let it take over our lives to the point of sacrificing personal connections.
I have not read the book or even heard of it until now but it sounds wonderful. I like to think that I don’t talk on my phone much when dealing with the public because it annoys me greatly to hear other people on their phones. I’m sure I am guilty of it sometimes though but if I ever get a call while in the checkout line I either tell the person on the phone to wait or that I will call them back – besides that I’m not very good at doing things with just one hand!
I am totally guilty of phone disconnection. I have always wanted to read one of Brene Brown’s books but seem to come up with so many excuses as to why I haven’t. How cool would it be to get an audible copy? Thanks for this fantastic giveaway Jen.
This book has been on my “to read” list on goodreads for a while. I love Brene Brown. I saw her Ted Talk and it’s sooo good.
That is amazing! I am sometimes guilty of this too…will now pay more attention!
I would LOVE to read this book (and then have my husband read it). I always make sure I’m not on my phone in the grocery store checkout line, but it’s alarming how much time in my marriage is spent with electronics instead of just each other. We need to stop multitasking!
This post is scarily accurate. I would love to read the book!
I try to be thoughtful about those kind of things, but I know I could be better. Would love to read the book!
Amen !! I encourage this and have taught my children to postpone the call when in those situations. It means more to the service person than you can imagine—go one step further and engage them in a conversation—–You would be surprised how they respond
I’m currently reading The Gifts of Imperfection and definitely plan on reading more of Brene’s work. I’ve only heard positive things about Daring Greatly and am anxious to read it too.
This looks like a great read and I’ve been looking for a new book to start on!
Hi Jenn,
I contacted you a couple weeks via the contact tab at the top. I had a question about yoga and if there are any types that help stimulate the pituitary or thyroid gland.. I wasn’t sure if that was the wrong way to contact you and i thought you might not have seen my question.
Thanks!
Courtney
i definitely fall prey to being on my phone more often than i’d like– this is such a great reminder that eye contact and a short conversation can really go a long way.
Sounds like a great read! Love something that makes you think and reevaluate. Happy Friday!!
That sounds like such a good idea!
Working in the service industry myself, I make a huge effort to acknowledge everyone I encounter. You never realize the difference you can make in someone’s life just with eye contact and a smile.
A friend recommended this book to me but I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet.
I am very guilty of phone disconnection, so I’m going to make an effort to put my phone away when talking to people – starting with this weekend!
I haven’t read it, but am always looking for a fresh perspective!
It’s sad to me that people have to be reminded to put their phones down and make eye contact/connect with other people when they interact. Really, this is some kind of revelation?
I have never heard of this book but I am trying to disconnect from my phone/iPad at home.
This is something that I too have had to make more of an effort to do. I often struggle with separating my work and personal life because most of the time it all runs together. The busier I get the more this seems to happen. I make an effort every night to find time to completely separate myself from technology and my online work.
thanks for the suggestion! I am always looking for a good book and my favorite books are the ones that challenge me to live! I also try to consciously put the phone down when I am talking with people in real time, lol sometimes we let technology get in the way of actual real-life!
Sounds like a book I’d enjoy! Working in a salon, I’ve had clients insist on talking on their phone while I try to wash, cut, style, etc. their hair. It’s incredibly hard to do and makes me feel like they don’t value my service.
I don’t know where I read it but I stick to the “crossword puzzle rule”. If I wouldn’t pull out a crossword and start doing it where I am, I shouldn’t pull out my phone and use it. And then of course I have a “no phone zone” in my car 🙂 Lol. It sounds silly saying those things but really, there’s seldom a time it’s important enough to call or text in those situations.
i feel like this book is something i need to read! my boyfriend and i are so guilt of phone disconnection. trying to get better! 🙂
Love this post – such a great point! Would love to read her book!
I have never even heard of this book but it sounds right up my alley! I love the concept and would love to read it!
Would love to read this book. SO agree with you on everyone’s phone addiction. It can be so frustrating to watch.
Just added this to my goodreads list…..thank you for the recommendation!!
I haven’t read the book and would love to. It seems like the book offers different perspectives which can be very eye-opening. I never would have even considered how dehumanizing it can be to others to talk on the phone or text while they help you. The age of technology has certainly damaged human interaction. As a college student, I’m very aware of how technology is so damaging to human connections. I love the idea of increasing the amount of respect in the world. Sounds like a great read.
Just added to my list too 🙂 Excited to read
I hate when people do that!!! Seems like they forget that person is even there except only to serve them. I have (in the way, way past) been on the phone like checking out at Wal-Mart or something and my friend used to fuss at me about it. I finally realized there wasn’t really anything so important on that phone call that I couldn’t stop and acknowledge the customer service I was receiving, and if it was then I could easily walk away! Everyone demands great customer service and complains when they don’t get it, but how many try to reciprocate or acknowledge it!! Sounds like a great book!
I put the cell “to bed” in front of my 1 1/2 year old because she sees me and her daddy on it while taking calls in the evening or taking a picture of her. We avoid using our cell phones or the IPad to look things up or check social media sites until she has gone to bed or is napping. It is hard- those devices are addicting! And like anything else- I do not want us or our daughter ‘addicted’ to anything that takes us away from social interaction and communication. Would love to read this book!
I watched Brene Brown’s Tedx talk. It was fabulous! Would love her book.
This book sounds great and like one we should all read. Thank you so much for sharing and for the opportunity to win one!
I am reading this book right now but struggling a little bit with getting into it. I haven’t gotten to this part yet however my dad lectured me big time about being on my phone while being served at a till when I was home for Christmas and I haven’t done it since and try really hard to make eye contact and say hello every time I’m served now.
I would love to read this book. I’m really good at staying off the phone outside and at work, but at home, it’s all over.
Love the phone call story from above, i always try not to be on the phone during transacations like that, but a reminder never hurts. sounds like a good read!
Wow! Sounds fantastic!