Morning friends! It’s been quite a while since I did a coffee chat post and the relaxed pace of this Sunday morning at the beach seemed like the perfect opportunity for one. Finn just went down for his nap (after quite the fight to avoid it) and I just made my second cup of coffee.
I’m sitting out on my grandmother’s balcony. The weather is so incredible this weekend. Around 70 during the day, sunny and low humidity. Around 50 at night. Please tell me where the weather is like this year-round because I think I could live there. (My hair would also like to live there.)
Related to the coffee conversation…do you have a favorite mug? At my grandmother’s place I always drink my coffee out of this same cup. At home I have 2-3 that I rotate between. Oh and my favorite tea mugs are different from my coffee cups.
One last coffee thing…I have a “How I French Press” tutorial coming for you very soon!
Okay…for that coffee chat…
If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you that I can’t believe Finn’s first birthday is around the corner.
Finn turned 10 months old last Monday and I can’t believe we’re getting so close to one! I snapped this photo of him on Saturday morning and he looks so much like a toddler here! He’s getting so big.
I’ve started getting questions about how we’re celebrating his birthday so I’ve been thinking about that. My desire is to have a small celebration with family and a few close friends who have been like family this past year. I’m not sure that I see myself throwing a big party for it.
I would ask you how you celebrated one!? Big party, small intimate gathering or just a low-key family thing?
If we were having coffee this morning, I would share that I’m feeling a lot better in my body these days.
The postpartum period is a weird time for a woman. I never really understood the whole “you don’t really get your body back until you stop breastfeeding” thing until I carried a baby for 9 months and have been breastfeeding one for 10. That’s a long time “sharing” yourself with another being!
It’s been a very special time but I can see how you might look forward to “having your body back.” (I’m not sure that’s the right terminology but you know what I mean.) All of these hormonal changes have done a number on me in both good and not so ideal ways. I have the craziest hair regrowth happening right now (I can legit blow dry baby bangs right now and it’s not cute!). Also, my skin has been a little all over the place and while I haven’t had a ton of breakouts in the postpartum period, I have had some random psoriasis patches and now some mild perioral redness/dermatitis stuff going on. My derm told me most of this is estrogen related so we’ll see if it all evens out once we wean.
Perhaps the most surprising postpartum/breastfeeding twist for me was losing too much weight. I wrote about it in this post and haven’t addressed it since then. Some of you have left comments asking for an update and I finally have one to share! Ever since Finn has really started eating solids (last 2 months or so), I’ve been gaining weight. I’m happy to report that I am now back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but with a lot less muscle mass. I think I was at my most muscular ever when I got pregnant with Finn! I was teaching strength like 5x a week (that class I usually do with my students).
This photo was taken when I was maybe 5-6 weeks pregnant!? You can read this post I wrote when I was 38 weeks pregnant about how I actually really loved my pregnant body and having some curves for the first time in my life. I’ve always been pretty flat in the chest department and built muscularly.
I haven’t changed anything about how I’ve been eating and I’ve actually been exercising a little MORE (because I finally feel like I have the energy for it). I really think the fact that he’s eating solids and getting some nutrition from sources other than me has made the difference. That said, my supply has remained the same so I don’t understand these things at all.
Okay, that was a lot of information but you guys ask about it so I hope it was useful/insightful/I don’t even know. Haha. Let me know if you have any other questions. Happy to answer.
If we were having coffee this morning, I would share how excited I am for my retreat this summer! And nervous…
I am partnering with Studio B Power Yoga to lead a yoga and fitness retreat in Montego Bay, Jamaica this summer! It will be my first Caribbean trip in over two years and I am PUMPED! That said, I am also so freaking nervous about it.
When we planned it, I thought to myself…”Finn will be 13 months old, it will be okay for me to leave him, I’ll probably be ready for a break.” It seemed SO far away. Well now that it’s just a few months away, I am still excited but also sad/nervous to leave Finn. It will be the longest I’ve been away from him. I also thought he would be weaned by then but now I’m not so sure so I’m anxious about how that’s all going to play out too.
On the topic of the retreat, we have a few more rooms available if any of you want to join us! You can get all the info HERE or shoot me an email and I’ll get you more details. If you don’t have a roommate, we do have some people who are looking!
Oh and I’ll be in Pennsylvania at Studio B Power Yoga NEXT WEEKEND for two master classes and three workshops! I’d love to see you there if you are a local reader. I’ll also be teaching a master class at Ethos Fitness on Friday night. 🙂
Questions for you!
How did you celebrate your child’s first birthday?
When did you feel like your body was “yours” again after having a baby? What changes surprised you the most?
Have you left your child/children for a solo vacation? If so, how did you feel about it all?
I weighed the least amount I’ve ever weighed as an adult when I was nursing my first. It was kind of awesome. Now here I am nursing my third (7 weeks PP) and the pregnancy weight is sadly not going anywhere.
I have either been pregnant or nursing for 5 years so I’m not sure what it feels like to get your body back!
Also, I left my second for 4 or 5 days when he was 11 months old. We were still nursing and I had to pump which wasn’t fun but we continued nursing until he was 20 months old.
perfect weather year round = San Diego!
I came here to say San Diego! I lived there for 7 years. Amazing weather! (But I’m sure that’s WAY stop far from your family for you and Finn!)
Yep, San Diego has the perfect weather!
We had a pretty low-key birthday, since we live in an area where family on both sides is nearby we only invited family and no friends! We still ended up with 13 people and most of my husband’s family couldn’t even make it!
I left Olivia for the first time at 9.5 months but pumped the whole time (3 nights, 4 days) so I wouldn’t have to wean her. I actually had a bit of oversupply of breastmilk the first 9 months which resulted in mastitis and some engorgement issues so those 3 nights away actually helped reduce my supply to a more manageable level and we continued to breastfeed after I returned until she was 14 months old when she self-weaned! I was actually really ready to leave her at 9.5 months (I am in Canada so was still on maternity leave at that time). I just recently went away for work for 2 nights and actually found that harder than leaving her when she was smaller… go figure! She’s now 16 months old so my body has been “mine” again for 2 months, however I think it really started to feel more like ‘mine’ after that solo vacation at 9.5 months because then missing a feed stopped being a big deal (before that I would get quite engorged and often still wake up in the night really full) and I really didn’t like that. The last 4.5 months of breastfeeding were really casual and a total breeze for us.
We are celebrating Camryn’s first birthday this weekend actually – crazy that it’s here! Like you, I didn’t want anything over the top. It’ll be relatively small with family and close friends and some other babies. I did maybe go a little crazy with buying decorations this weekend though 😉 We are doing a cake smash on Friday for her one year old photos, which is what i’m probably most excited about!
I like small, family/close friend bday parties for the first couple of years. I always picked a fun theme & decorated the table & had a themed cake.
I nursed both my kids until they were around 2. I found I was ready to be done at around 15 months, but it took another 6-8 months to actually stop as they were both really hard to wean! I loved getting my body back, & totally know what you mean by that statement.
My kids are 12 & 8, and I still get nervous leaving them! However, not nearly as much as when they were toddler age. I find once I’m actually on the trip, the anxiety gets better. It’s the worst leading up to the trip.
You’re an amazing women and my favorite blogger! I admire your focus on gratitude & understanding that our struggles are sometimes our greatest gifts!
I love your honesty in these posts about motherhood! I breastfed my son (he’s 2 now) for 13 months, and I’ll never forget the first overnight I went on after I stopped nursing. It was so freeing not to have to bring a pump or worry about nursing, and I got to sleep through the night because I wasn’t getting woken up at 6am with giant leaky breasts! I just had my second child 3 weeks ago, and it’s been an adjustment getting used to not having my body be my own again! But with my first, I was like you; I lost a ton of weight breastfeeding. I thought I was eating a lot but I just couldn’t keep up with the calorie burn. But as soon as my son stopped nursing I gained like 10 lbs in a month! It was clear that my body was begging for more calories, and I felt awful that I didn’t manage it better. My goal this time around is to make sure that doesn’t happen! It’s definitely a learning process for sure :). But I love your blog! You’re a great mama!
Go with a small bday. I’m pregnant now, and all I want for the first few years is a small intimate party with family and MAYBE a few close friends. It’s special for the kid/ and the family when it’s small and intimate.
My sister has had a huge party for her child since she’s turned 1(just celebrated 5)
I barely see her child at these parties and I drive 4 hours to go. I’m fairly certain that her child doesn’t even know I’m there since it’s always so hectic. But to each their own 🙂
Just giving both perspectives…
I’ve been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for going on 3yrs 3mos now so I honestly don’t even remember what it’s like to have my body all to myself haha. I wasn’t also my most fit/muscular when I got pregnant the first time and sometimes I long for that feeling of strength but I just don’t have the time, energy, or motivation at this point. I think I didn’t expect breastfeeding to dominate my life so much.
We live far from family so for my first son’s first birthday, we just celebrated the three of us. His birthday isn’t the 12th of the month so I did a “12 days of Wesley” and tried to do something special everyday leading up to his birthday. Some big things like a zoo trip but also just going to the playground or out to get a muffin. It made me realize too that I can make any day have a special moment.
The first time I left my first son, he was 14 months old and we went on our belated honeymoon for 4 days. I had to pump but at least by then it was only 4x/day and not overnight. It wasn’t ideal but at that point it’s just part of life haha.
Great post! Thanks so much for sharing, that yoga retreat sounds awesome. Hope you are having great day!
-Kate
Come to San Diego and you’ll get that weather everyday 🙂
I so enjoy reading your coffee chats! Thank you!
I believe that the first birthday celebration is really more for the parents/family than for the child, since one-year-olds obviously have no idea it’s their birthday (neither do 2-year-olds, IME). We celebrated our twin sons’ first birthday by getting their photos taken, including the “cake smash,” and having their grandparents and a few close friends over for cake. 🙂
We keep birthday celebrations pretty simple – no ‘pinterest’ stuff here! For the first birthday we just had family and a few close friends.
I nursed my first for 1 year and my second for 13 months. I mostly felt like my body was mine again after that – sure they still cling to and climb all over you but that’s different. I enjoyed nursing and also lost a lot of weight while doing it and was under my prepregnancy weight until I stopped nursing.
Ha – my oldest is 7.5 and just last week was my first time not seeing him in a 24 hour period (I think it was harder on me than him!). My youngest is almost 3 and haven’t been away from her for even a night yet. I know not everybody has that option and I don’t think it’s bad to take time away from your kids – just for me it hasn’t ever come up.
Perfect Weather=San Diego and OC California. OC is Where I lived prior to CLT. Why did I leave? 🙂
I had some perioral dermatitis over the winter, out of the blue with no changes in meds, diet or skincare and everything (moisturizer, cleansers, ointments) seemed to make it worse. I read online that zinc helps so I got some Burt’s Bees diaper rash cream that is 40% zinc. It made my rash better from the first. I put it on thick as a mask in the evenings and very thin in the mornings – the white from the zinc soaked up my makeup and blended in. It took about 3 weeks to completely heal. Definitely worth a try.
This!!! I battled with perioral dermatitis on and off for YEARS without knowing what it was. First the derm said cold sores, then they said acne, and nothing was helping. When they finally diagnosed it as perioral dermatitis they prescribed topical and oral antibiotics and it just made it worse! I did a ton of research online because I was desperate, and found a combo that works insanely well… a thin smear of clotrimazole cream (yup, for jock itch) followed by diaper rash cream smeared over the rash overnight. It’s so soothing upon contact, and cleared the rash up entirely within in a few days! I stopped using it after I cleared. I started this in October and have only had two instances where it started to come back, and this combo takes care of it within a day! Previously I was getting flare-ups multiple times a month and they would last for days and were so so painful. Other than that, I watch what I put on my chin (don’t regularly wear any makeup on my chin, use a really bland moisturizer) and it helps so much!!
When I was researching I learned it’s probably hormonal so it made no sense to me that they treat it with antibiotics. I’ll try the clotrimazole if my rash comes back. It sounds like your rash cleared up much faster than mine. Thanks!
I did my son’s first birthday at the park! We did pizza, cookies and balloons and let the kids play on the playground. Loved it!
I went on a trip without my baby when she was 20 months…..when I planned it I thought she’d be weaned, but nope. So I figured I’d just go on the trip and when I came home I’d be dried up and done with nursing. I ended up running to target and buying a manual pump bc I was so uncomfortable. That was a few months ago and I’m still nursing! So, if he hasn’t weaned yet (11 months might sound old but it’s not!) definitely bring your pump so you don’t get uncomfortable. I’m sure he will be in good hands, you’ll miss him but it will go fast and you’ll be so excited to get back and catch up on snuggles!
The first year my daughter was drinking a lot of milk. We continued to nurse until 18 months. During that last 6 months she nursed less and less and I slowly started to gain weight. Then when I stopped nursing completely it really packed on so now with a 3 year old I am finally focusing on fat loss for myself! I am trying to remember but the lactation consultant said something like it could take another 6 months after weaning before your body 100% agrees you aren’t going to feed your baby any more! Otherwise there is still milk in there in case you need it! So yeah it will take a long time until your hormones are 100% back to normal.
I breastfed my daughter until she turned one, and she self-weaned. Honestly I probably pushed her to stay interested in the boobies long after she was done, because I loved nursing and wasn’t eager to give up that special connection!
What surprised me was the avalanche of emotions that happened after I weaned her. I guess it was my hormones shifting, but I spent about 5-6 weeks being an emotional wreck. For me, it was worse than postpartum hormones! I know I was also emotional about her turning one, so it was probably a combination of factors. But if you’re super weepy after weaning Finn, just know that it’s very normal and you’ll eventually level out. <3 Amazing job feeding him for so long!! That's good, hard work.