Hello. Life is full at the moment but I feel equal parts very happy and very stressed. I am writing this post from bed in my hotel room in Kingsport, Tennessee. I’m here kicking off the first weekend of our third 200-hour yoga teacher training at VIDA Hot Yoga.
It’s hard to believe that we graduated our first group of teacher trainees two years ago. The studio has experienced so much growth in the last two years, and I have too. I honestly credit VIDA with “bringing me back to life” and reminding me how much I love sharing yoga with others at a time when I was considering giving up teaching.
I started our first yoga teacher training when Finn was four months old. They went above and beyond to accommodate me as a new mom. Finn joined me for almost all of the eight training weekends and it’s an experience that I will never forget. I have no idea where the energy and resourcefulness came from for me to develop our curriculum, write a manual, travel 3.5 hours each way, teach literally all day, nurse on breaks and stay in a hotel with a baby came from but let me tell you…it gave me some grit and I’m FOREVER grateful for that experience. I can’t walk into the studio without being asked how Finn is doing and if he’s with me. These days, I plan our training weekends for when Finn is with his dad but I’ll never forget how we started.
(NOTE: these are old pictures!)
If you’re newer to following my blog (or have just forgotten), I serve in the role of lead teacher at VIDA Hot Yoga. I facilitate their 200-hour yoga teacher trainings and help when I can with continuing education for their existing teachers (many who are now past TT graduates!). It might be a small studio in East Tennessee but I am so honored and proud to be a part of the community. It’s been nearly a year since my last visit to VIDA due to COVID but when I walked in on Friday night, it was like I’d never left.
The studio is doing well and we have an awesome group for this teacher training. VIDA is expanding to Johnson City, Tennessee and building out an amazing new studio that will offer the same yoga and barre that students get in Kingsport with the addition of a new HIIT/strength studio and format. It will be opening later this spring and I can’t wait!
Teacher training weekends are…intense. We met Friday night from 5:30-8:30p and today from 8a to almost 6p. Tomorrow we go 7:30a-4:30p and I drive back to Charlotte after. The weekends are long but I love the immersive nature of them.
It took some willpower but I took myself to the gym in the hotel tonight to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I was wiped out after the training day but needed to move my body and do something for myself after spending all day giving energy to others. I kept it super easy and watched Dream Home Makeover on my phone while I ran and I felt so much better after.
When I got back to the room I took a hot shower and ordered a chicken quesadilla for dinner. A cupcake is on deck for dessert when I finish this post.
Circling back to how I started this rambling discussion…I love my work…very much…but it is difficult to find a sustainable work/life balance when…
- I don’t have traditional work hours and regularly work weekends and nights
- I travel for work sometimes
- I am self-employed and much of that work is on a contract/temporary basis
- I am in the process of launching an online start-up fitness business
- I’m a single mom
There have been many times when I’ve wondered if I should go back to a “traditional” 9-5 kind of job but I LOVE MY WORK SO MUCH! I am willing to do the nights and weekends and deal with the uncertainty because the reward is so worth it for me personally.
Mostly, I share this because I know a lot of you are stressed about work and parenting right now too. The reasons may be different than mine but they are all valid nonetheless.
As a working and single mom, I always feel like I’m dropping the ball whether it’s something I need to do for work or time/energy/attention that I want to give Finn, family and friends. Add dating and relationships into the mix and (insert the mind blown emoji here)…it’s a lot. I often wonder if it’s truly possible to have it all. I feel like I can have most of it, but not all of it at the same time.
At the end of the day, I choose to focus on how grateful I am to have work that I love, a comfortable and cozy home, a supportive family, wonderful friends and the sweetest, smartest, most affectionate child that I could ever dream of. This picture of Finn is an adequate description of most days of my life.
Take the leap, trust the outcome.
Thank you for being here. I really enjoy learning more about all of you so I would love to hear where you are right now with work, relationships, parenting, etc during this most uncertain time of life.
xo,
Jen
I don’t know how you do it — other than by taking the leap! You just do it and I’m honored to be a witness to much of your growth! Cheering you on, always!!
For me, I’m in an interesting season of options (good!), but still resisting some change. Growth requires change and with the weirdness of the past year, it’s easy to lull myself into settling in. I know in the long run, that’s not what I want though. Time to leap 🙂
Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. You’ve always been such a wonderful supporter and I’m grateful for you! I look forward to watching how things unfold for you. Ira is just the sweetest thing and it’s been a joy to watch him grow and change.
Trying to have our second child and just feeling like, HOW will this ever work? And also feeling so grateful for the family I have. Having small kids is a tough season of life whatever else is going on and a global pandemic certainly doesn’t help! Thank you for sharing what’s working (and not working) for you and your family.
Oh I feel you Allison! Having a small child is simultaneously the hardest and most joyful thing that I have ever done in my life. I love him so insanely much but often feel like I’m losing it a little trying to get everything done that I need to. It’s definitely taught me a lot of letting go!
Mom guilt and the struggle to have it all together and give your energy to every facet of life is a struggle for all moms in all situations. As a working, married mom pregnant with my second son, I worry that I won’t be able to adequately care for or give enough attention to either boy. My marriage has definitely suffered since becoming a mom because my number one priority is my son. And I haven’t seen my friends and hardly seen my family in months because I’m pregnant during a pandemic. Life sometimes feels very hard, no matter how much I try to focus on gratitude and knowing that I am so blessed and fortunate. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Right now I remind myself that my biggest focus is for my son to know he is safe and loved during these formative years. I hope you do the same, and know you are doing a great job as shown in your smart, happy loving little boy 🙂
Thank you so much for being so open and honest Chelsea. I really enjoyed reading your comment and found a lot of comfort in it. I know these years that he is so small and needs so much of me are going to pass so quickly. He is by far my #1 priority but it’s hard not to also stress about work and providing for us and my personal relationships with friends and family. <3 I hope that you are feeling good in your pregnancy. I can imagine that it must be so much to manage to be pregnant at this time. Sending you lots of well wishes.
I think you’re right, I don’t think it’s possible to have it all at the same time and I don’t think that we should even be aspiring to that. I always think of the comedy bit by Michelle Wolf where she talks about how unattainable it is to ‘have it all’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIwl5O-QcKM).
These days I try and think about balance as some weeks working stupid hours and letting other things fall by the wayside because they have to. Then other weeks working less and spending more time taking the kids to the playground or spending more time with my partner. I find that I do have to be pretty consistent with exercise though, it keeps me sane!
I really like your current view of balance Ema. It’s a great way to look at things and I can really relate to that. I hear you on the exercise piece of it all, although I’ve had to have a lot of letting go around that since becoming a mom because it doesn’t always happen. I try really hard to prioritize it when possible because I know it helps me so much mentally/emotionally.
Ooh boy. Thank you for this post. I just lost my job two weeks ago. I’m living overseas, away from family and friends and am missing any sense of “normalcy.” I’m not sure what my next steps are as far as a job goes, especially seeing as I’m an American living in a foreign country during a pandemic, but I’m leaving myself open to opportunities.
I wish you all the best with all of your endeavors. Reading how others navigate change and uncertainty helps so much, so thank you for sharing.
Oh Joy, I’m so sorry to hear about your job. If I remember correctly, you just moved overseas not too long ago for work. I can’t imagine what you’re navigating right now. I am sending you a lot of love and support. <3
I rarely comment but wanted to stop in to say how much I appreciate you sharing your life, your challenges, and your successes with all of us. I have NO idea how you balance all that you do – but you do, and you do it so well. You are an amazing mother, and it’s clear that you love your son and your family and close friends SO much. I hope that 2021 is a wonderful year of growth coupled with some stability for you.
(My own life is honestly too boring to share here, trust me! Let’s just say it seems to be moving at warp speed right now, which is good – it’s not dragging! – but also challenging – how will I get it all done??)