Good morning. Can I just say that I’m happy that Easter weekend is over? I don’t know what it is about Easter but it’s one of the social media holidays that I sometimes find to be a little triggering when it comes to the whole comparison trap.
(Easter 30 YEARS AGO at my grandparent’s house.)
I talked to my yoga class about Easter and social media this morning. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love seeing all the photos of egg hunts, family dinners and pretty dresses but when your Easter experience looks kind of starkly opposite of that, it can feel like you’re missing out a bit.
For the last few years, we haven’t really had a family Easter and it’s kind of felt like just another day. I usually make brunch at home, eat some Reese’s Eggs, teach yoga and carry on with life as usual. This year was especially mundane feeling and I told my class how important it is to remember that life doesn’t always look like “pretty Easter dresses.”
I wasn’t really even motivated to write a weekend recap today but I decided during class I’d share my “ugly dress” Easter weekend instead of skipping it or pretending my weekend was something it wasn’t. I hope you don’t find this too Debbie Downer on a Monday and appreciate a little reality. xx
My mom had a medical procedure done on Friday that meant a very early morning for both of us and a late night for me. She is 100% okay, just something that needed to be done pre-baby. I finally got settled at home and made this BBQ chicken frozen pizza from Whole Foods at 10 p.m.
And then went to bed at 11 p.m. and woke up at 12:30 a.m. with terrible heartburn and general worry/anxiety. Pizza before bed + pregnancy = nope. I thought maybe it would be okay since it wasn’t tomato-based but it wasn’t at all. Ahhh.
I kept it simple on Saturday morning with a smoothie. This one was frozen riced cauliflower, frozen banana, frozen strawberries and cherries, collagen powder, fish oil, plain greek yogurt, almond milk and Wild Friends Almond Cashew Super Butter.
Later that morning I taught yoga and then got showered and dressed for lunch after class.
This lunch was probably the highlight of my weekend. Seaweed salad to start.
And sushi! (I ate cooked rolls.)
I have zero photos from the rest of Saturday but I helped my mom out with some things, took the dogs for a long walk and watched I, Tonya.
Although the sushi was delicious, it also gave me heartburn and I never felt like eating dinner until I defrosted a blueberry bagel at 10 p.m. and ate it toasted with butter. Let me tell you, pregnancy Saturday nights are really something. 😉
On a more positive note, I enjoyed I, Tonya as the whole Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding drama took place in the height of my childhood figure skating obsession. I used to write letters to Nancy Kerrigan! I’ve only broken two bones in my life and both have been while roller skating. The second was my wrist while on inline skates at a friends house where we were playing “Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan” and I slipped on a patch of pine straw. Haha.
I slept really well on Saturday night, which I was grateful for. Sunday brunch looked like scrambled eggs, bacon, sourdough toast and fruit…followed by two Reese’s Eggs.
I spent the rest of the day hanging around the house with these two cuties. Tanner and I worked on the nursery and he got the fan installed and we (well, he…I sat in the glider and mostly supervised) hung the art. I also washed a bunch of clothes and blankets. We are getting there.
I found myself emotional while we were working on the nursery and experienced some tearful moments. There was the whole Easter Sunday social media contrast happening in my head along with an overall wish that things were a little different right now than they are…which of course was magnified by the social media stuff. I’m also contending with pregnancy hormones.
I am okay and I am so excited about baby boy but there is a contrast of some sadness along with it regarding some things like not having my brother here and relationship stuff.
I am updating this post two years later and I will be more transparent that things were NOT good at home. Sitting in that nursery preparing for a baby with a partner who was completely checked-out felt like a special kind of emotional hell.
I taught a yoga class at 4, stopped into the grocery to pick a few things up and then came home to prep dinner.
I didn’t cook an Easter meal because no one was really up for eating it other than me. I made this one pan roasted dinner with veggies and chicken sausage but for some reason, every time I’ve tried to eat it during pregnancy it turns my stomach. I had to choke it down.
This pie and ice cream, however, I did not have to choke down. I ate it before bed while we were watching Shameless. (That show, OMG.)
Also, last night my lower back/sacrum was really bothering me so I spent a lot of time rolling my glutes and hips on a lacrosse ball. I waddled up the stairs to bed because when I stood up, I was having that pelvic pain that I’ve been telling you guys about in my pregnancy update posts. I’m solidly in the “pretty uncomfortable” stage of pregnancy these days.
And that’s all. Today is a new day and I’m feeling better. I’ve said this a million times already but I can’t believe that pregnancy is coming to a close in the next month or so and that I’m so close to meeting this baby. I’m feeling so many emotions about it.
Here’s to a good and grounded week ahead. <3
I appreciate your honesty. I had the same kind of Easter this year. My boys were with their dads and I just couldn’t muster up the energy to celebrate, so I didn’t. I was super sad but it turned out to be an ok day. So glad it is Monday and the Easter family photos will start dwindling!
Hey Brooklyn – you are so welcome. Holidays are hard when you’re going through life transitions, losses, changes etc. I’m sending you lots of love. <3
I’ve loved following along with your pregnancy updates – and I so wish this happened last year when I was pregnant, too! LOL
I stayed active throughout my pregnancy as well, and oh wow, the aches and pains just suddenly really set in during the last month. Just want to provide some encouragement – you’re doing great, and these aches and pains will be distant memories once your little boy is in your arms! Enjoy these last weeks of being pregnant – the way you feel in your body right now is so special and unique to this phase of life. Sending love and comforting vibes.
Thanks for reading them! I’m glad you enjoy them! 🙂
I’ve been surprised by how quickly things have changed in these final months in regards to how I feel. And yes, I totally know I will forget very soon about this discomfort. I just can’t even imagine what holding him is going to be like. <3
Hi there! I’ve always seen Easter as a kid holiday so I think once the Easter Bunny starts visiting your little guy, the day will bring on new meaning and fun. Enjoying these events with your kids is fantastic!! I am on the flip side of that where my day was more of a regular Sunday because my kids are aging out of the fun Easter Bunny stage. Thanks for sharing!!
This is a good point Jen! 🙂
I’m sorry you didn’t have a great Easter and that the last uncomfortable stages of pregnancy have set in. It’s definitely not fun at times :(. Even though it will be worth it in the end, it’s still hard going through all of it!
My husband is a pilot and gone for most holidays. It is very challenging, especially for our kids. I can relate to how you felt this Easter. The one thing that helped me and really changed my perspective was to get all of us to church to celebrate the real reason for Easter. We went on Saturday night because it fit into our schedule better. Im not saying you have to go to church but, for me, it was a good reminder of why I celebrate Easter :).
I hope you have a great week! Can’t believe baby boy will be here so soon!
Holly – I can only imagine how challenging it would be to navigate holidays and your husband’s schedule. I love your point on remembering the true meaning of certain holidays and staying connected to that.
I know…so soon! It’s crazy!
Thank you for this post, Jen! I was feeling pretty low about my “ugly dress” Easter, too. Thank you for the gentle reminder not to let external forces cause any undo stress or comparison. Here’s to all of us finding an authentic way to move forward and find happiness 🙂
You are very welcome. <3
Thank you for your candidness! It’s one reason I enjoy reading your blog so much. I’m due in just over a week, so I’ve been enjoying reading your pregnancy updates as well. Wishing you all the best as his birth date nears!
Hi Haley – thank you for your comment.
Biggest congrats to you and please check back in after delivery! I want to hear how you’re doing.
You’re not alone with the Easter blah. My 3 kids are still relatively young and enjoyable for holidays, but we’re trying to get out of debt and therefore it was mostly just an ordinary day for us. We don’t live near any family, so no special meals or egg hunts or anything like that. Most holidays are like that right now and I’m beginning to be okay with it and find some enjoyment in the peacefulness of it.
Love this real and vulnerable post.
Hey Audra, thanks for your comment. I’m glad you’re finding some peace with your “different” looking holidays but hoping you’re making them just right for your family. And it’s so amazing to hear that you guys are focused on trying to get out of debt and keeping that as a priority in your decision making. <3
My husband and I were just talking about how we feel like Easter has seemed to explode over the past few years (i.e., a billion posts about it on IG, etc.) My family never did a huge Easter thing–we dyed eggs but my mom never even wanted to go to church because it was just way too much of a circus. My Easter included walking the dog, having breakfast at a Jewish deli (because we knew it wouldn’t be packed ;)) and doing laundry.
Also, Shameless! I remember hating the earlier seasons because it was SO CHAOTIC and every character was insane. We’re all caught up now and I love it…for some crazy reason! It definitely mellows out on the absurdity as it goes along (but, Frank is always Frank.)
xoxoxo
It really has. It’s cool but also a little crazy. Your Easter sounds just perfect and love your breakfast pick.
And Frank…every episode I’m like, “REALLY FRANK!?” Good to know that some of the chaos dies down.
The end of pregnancy is very emotional. You have hormonal things, stress, anxiety about what to expect, etc. Taking it easy and getting lots of rest is helpful!
Thank you for validating this Lisa. Sometimes I feel like, “is this normal!?” but I tell myself it is. I’m really trying to slow down for this last bit.
I feel exactly the same way about social media posts (honestly on most of the holidays). I like keeping up with people on Facebook, but it’s so difficult to not fall into the comparison trap! I appreciate your talking about it because I often wonder if anyone feels the same way.
Yes, holidays on social media seem to put an extra emphasis on the comparison trap, especially if you’re having a bit of a ho-hum holiday or going through a life transition or time of loss. <3
Oh Jen- I feel you!
I am looking at 37 weeks tomorrow and have some days or mornings where I am just emotional and anxious about our baby coming and how I’m going to juggle everything from feeding to going back to work. I’m a first time mom and this is real stuff!!
For some reason, holidays always bring out the comparison trap. With the end of your pregnancy (and mine) I’m trying to soak up every moment and just be grateful for my health, for the family that supports me, and for the gift of life. When the baby sees you for the first time, he will think you are the most perfect, beautiful mom in the world and that is all that matters.
Hang in there. Hugs to you.
“When the baby sees you for the first time, he will think you are the most perfect, beautiful mom in the world and that is all that matters.”
This is so sweet and so true.
Pregnancy and life with a newborn is such a tough rollercoaster of hormones and emotions. When I was pregnant with my second child, I had to deactivate my personal social media accounts and I never looked back. It ended up being a huge perspective-check. Jen, I sympathize that you aren’t able to disconnect because it is a part of your career. Even though we all KNOW that the internet is a highlight reel, it’s so easy to get sucked into comparing our lives even if it’s subconsciously.
Hey Rachel – thanks for this comment and for sharing that you deactivated social media. Although it is such a big part of my job, it is definitely something that I frequently work to set boundaries on and keep a healthy perspective around.
Yes, I am feeling ALL the first time mom emotions. I feel like I always have to qualify it with “I’m excited” (and I truly am) but I’m also like, “holy shit, what have I done?” Pregnancy is a crazy ride of hormones and all the wondering of what life is going to be like after they’re here is overwhelming at times!
And thank you so much for those final words. They are truly beautiful and something for me to focus on and ground myself in.
We don’t celebrate Easter, even with a 2 years old. No chocolate, no eggs, etc. He doesn’t care. But we have a lot of fun, like every other weekend. In fact, I never compare my life with IG, I try to look at it with curiosity and a good distance.
Love this. Thank you for sharing. I especially love, “curiosity and a good distance.”
The best thing you can do right now is condition yourself to stop the comparisons. Once the little man comes along, it will be SO EASY to say “Oh, my baby isn’t as good of a sleeper as my friend’s baby,” or “Oh, my baby is so much chunkier than her baby.” You can move mountains when it comes to your children, so start now with this stuff.
Also, I LOVE YOU! And I can’t wait for the little man’s appearance. He’s such a lucky little guy.
This is the best advice. Thank you so so so very much.
Omg! I kept thinking to myself how people are so “keeping up with the Jones’s” on Easter! I’m glad I wasn’t the only one feeling like that. Everyone’s all like “Here’s our entire family on the lawn at church, our beautiful Easter table, and some pretty over-the-top Easter baskets I got for my perfect children because we are their perfect parents!” LOL I really am happy for others and the good moments in their lives but sometimes social media is TOO much. Thanks for being real and I hope things are looking up this week. 🙂
Right? It’s pretty wild these days.
I agree that I try to focus on being really happy for others but it also doesn’t feel “real” at the same time.
Girl, get yourself some zantac to help with the heartburn! I’m 30 weeks and have been taking it since the beginning of my second trimester. It is a lifesaver – I get terrible heartburn otherwise.
I don’t get all of the excitement over easter (except for the reese eggs – why do those taste so much better?). My husband and I are not religious, but did participate in an easter egg hunt with my son (20 months old) and our neighbors. The fun part was just the fact that we were able to be outside and see our friends – the egg hunt lasted for a whole 10 minutes or so.
Give yourself a break too, you’ve been growing another person for quite awhile now and it’s hard. It’s hard physically and emotionally. And honestly, some things will get easier with a newborn, but some things are just going to be harder. Take a break with social media if you need to. Comparisons are all over the place and you have to try really hard to resist making them. I hope you start to feel better soon 🙂
Hey Elaine – I will definitely seek some relief from the heartburn if it continues or grows more frequent. I’m glad to hear that it works well!
And thank you very much for the words of encouragement on giving myself a break. I’m admittedly pretty bad at that and it’s a reminder I need to hear. I am a chronic over-pusher.
Totally agree on Easter! I waddled my pregnant self into a diner with my husband for a quiet breakfast, and went home to sleep it off on the couch while watching SATC reruns. If that doesn’t scream glam, what does?! ha!
Sorry you’re having so much pain! I am just getting to the point of being too uncomfortable to sleep and I have convinced myself I can feel my hips stretching in real-time. 31 weeks…only a million more to go, haha!
Love your Easter! <3
The discomfort didn’t get “real” until the last few weeks. It’s crazy how much and fast they grow (and so do you!) in the end!
Hi Jen, I believe this is the first time I’ve commented but I’ve been reading for a while. I have been following along with your pregnancy and I’m SO happy for you. I wanted to say that 1) I totally understand the feelings you speak of with anxiety and the unknown with pregnancy. I was pregnant with my first 5 years ago (she is 4 now) and I felt exactly the same. I’m a pretty selfish person and enjoy my alone time very much. I loved my life and was scared for things to change. I want you to know that everything changes but for the *even* better. He will bring you so much joy and it’ll seem like he has been in your life forever. I will be praying for you. 2) I understand the Easter/holiday comparison trap. I have two kiddos, I’m happily married and I’m extremely happy BUT I have some extended family stuff going on that I can’t even talk about to anyone so I have an underlying sadness that I cannot shake. I find myself comparing my “normal” to everyone else’s. It’s a terrible feeling. 3) You were SO CUTE! You look exactly the same, I love that 🙂
Hi Suz – thanks for reading and taking a moment to comment! 🙂
I can’t tell you how much comfort your words brought to me. Thank you for sharing.
I’m sorry to hear about your family stuff going on and I’ll be sending good vibes your way. Just remember that NO ONE has a truly “normal” family (what is normal anyway!?) and all families have their complex layers, dynamics and stories…it just might not be in the light.
I totally appreciate your honesty on this. I grew up celebrating Easter; special dresses, church, baskets, and a family dinner. However, these days I don’t live near family and I’m not particularly religious. I still remember my first Easter when I was dating my now husband; we ate dinner at some bar and grill type of place that was not at all “Eastery” and I remember thinking “oh we’re those people who eat at a place like this on Easter.”
These days I have kids and feel that with social media the competition to do Easter bigger and better is out of control; for some families it looks like Christmas morning part 2. We do baskets for the kids, but keep them pretty simple with things like books, trading cards and a little candy. Some years we’ve done brunch with friends and little egg hunts for the kids. Dinner is just our typical Sunday dinner. While we don’t get super “Eastery” I do enjoy the fact that most things are closed down on Easter and we get a day to relax.
I can totally relate to this comment Erin. My situation is very similar.
I think your version of Easter sounds just right for you and your family. <3
I totally relate to the comparison aspect with the holidays. I was desperately in need of a relaxing day, so I spent almost the entire day just reading a book and decompressing (I am a church goer, but my church offers a Saturday service). And it was EXACTLY what I needed and I was so pleased to be able to do that. Then of course I started scrolling through instagram and facebook and suddenly I wasn’t so happy. It sucks that social media can steal your joy like that.
Your day sounds perfect and I’m glad you gave yourself the space to take what you needed.
As always, thank you for sharing! <3 You 100000% can do this and your baby boy will be so loved by you and everyone around him!
You are so welcome and thank you for the support and encouragement.
I was having the Easter blahs as well. My dad passed away 1 year ago and I used to spend so many Easters at his house, so it was a tough day. I had to work Sat night at the hospital and the combination of being tired, no Easter plans, and missing my Dad made it an ugly Easter dess kind of day. Sometimes it helps to know we aren’t alone in our struggles.
I am so sorry to hear about your father. I can only imagine how tough that must have been for you. The first anniversary of a death is truly so, so hard. My prayers are with you.
I had horrible pubic symphysis with my kiddos and totally remember that pain. I did get a belt for my last one which helped a ton. For the life of me I can’t remember the name now…but it was definitely not one of those that only goes under the belly…it was a whole thing just to put it on LOL. I hope you have some relief soon!
Good to know! Thank you!
I love when people post about the tough times too because life truly isn’t all butterflies and rainbows. Living in this social media obsessed world is so so so hard. I am going through a huge life change as well with my relationship and seeing everyone “living their best life” 24/7 on social media is so difficult. I honestly find myself dreading the holidays and even though life is honestly pretty great right now over all because the choice I made is the right one, it’s easy for that to get shot down the minute I get on Instagram.
You have so much going on in your life and even though it’s an exciting time with baby boy on the way, I can’t begin to imagine how emotional it is too. You’re extremely strong and you have so much love from friends, family and followers and I know you will get through this season of life and come out even stronger because as cliche as it sounds, everything really does happen for a reason 🙂 You got this Jen!
Hi Blaire – I honestly feel like it’s my responsibility as someone who puts their life/work out into the world to share both sides of the coin. The social media world we are living in is both a blessing and a curse all at the same time and it’s important to talk about how to emotionally handle the sides of it that can be not so healthy/triggering for us.
Holidays can be super tough no matter what and social definitely adds a complicated layer into it all.
I really appreciate your encouragement and kindness in your final words. It means a lot to me.
Jen, can totally relate to social media comparison anxiety, I’m only posting here because as I was reading your post the things that’s jumped out at me were=how beautiful & shiny your hair looks compared to mine, how thin your arms looked compared to mine, how much more dedicated to fitness you are by going to yoga on a holiday, & etc etc. As a logical person I know its sad & useless to make those comparisons, but don’t know why we let them take over. Something to work on! Peace & love to you
Victoria – thank you so very much for taking a moment to share this. We all have endless opportunities for personal growth and I think that sharing it helps everyone. <3
Hang in there Jen. The best is yet to come!
<3 Thank you Kathryn.
As always, I appreciate your authentic voice, and your willingness to share life honestly in this online space. Thank you also for providing an official label to that phenomenon (trap?) known as social media on a major American holiday. I, too, had somewhat of an “ugly dress” Easter (complete with exercise clothes and lunch at the KFC buffet with my parents!), only to see my Facebook feed filled with my friends’ lovely family pictures.
Hope your week is filled with lots of opportunities to take good care of yourself; and hope your mom is doing well after her medical treatment.
Hi Lee – thank you for your kind comment. <3
If people in your life are causing you stress and sadness and uncertainty at this point in your life and pregnancy (a time when you need love, care, compassion, and support more than ever, and when you should be feeling excited and happy and ready for wonderful new beginnings), then please rethink those relationships. Because you are worth so much more, Jen.
I say that with genuine concern, and I hope it doesn’t come across differently.
Hi Lisa – thank you for this comment and it definitely resonated with me. It doesn’t come across as anything but caring and honest. <3
I lost my sister about 9 years before I had my oldest child and I missed her so intensely during my pregnancy and right after the baby came. I sort of could not accept that she’d never meet the baby and my children would never know her. To be honest those feelings flash up on holidays and special moments to this day. I am sorry that you have this as well but I think it is amazing you are cultivating a relationship with your nieces anyway!
Best of luck with everything else that you have going on.
I am so sorry that you lost your sister Irene and I completely understand what you mean about it being hard to accept. I struggle with it all the time, from the moment I got that positive test result. And yes, the feelings do tend to become more intense during times of major change/transition in life (like pregnancy) and holidays.
I know how you feel about missing someone and getting close to having a baby. My dad passed a little over 6 years ago. My wedding day without him was hard. But seeing my mom, brother, and in-laws holding and loving on my newborn baby was incredibly difficult. It just reminded me that there was someone very significant missing.
I took my dad’s framed picture to the hospital and had my husband hold it close to my face when the contractions were the worst. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but seeing him and knowing he was watching over me really helped me push through the end. Then when I was alone with my baby girl later that day I showed her the picture and told her about her grandpa. It helped me to feel that he was there with us. And I know my baby girl has a very special guardian angel looking over her.
Hey Megan, I’m sorry to hear about your dad and I can relate to the difficulty of not having him there for your wedding or the birth of you baby. My brother wasn’t at my wedding either (although he was alive) and I’ll miss him never meeting my son.
So sweet that you brought the photo with you to the hospital and the story after about telling your daughter about him is amazing. <3