Labor day has come and gone, this week passed in a blur and tomorrow is September the eighth.
I haven’t had much to say this week. I am feeling like I’m in a place of pulling back for many reasons. One of which is to try and create the space I need to see my next steps. I’ve almost always found that sitting with space, even when it’s so uncomfortable, helps the next thing to show up. Or at least helps us see more clearly what the best next thing is.
Related, read this about How to Stop Running from Space.
On the topic of pulling back…
I deleted the Facebook app from my phone a couple of weeks ago and it’s been a most refreshing thing to reduce the scroll. I thought about suspending my account all together but I need it for groups I manage and business pages.
I’ve also been making a conscious effort to spend less time on Instagram but overall, my Instagram feed is a happy place for me. I really love the accounts that I follow and the people that I interact with on the platform. Opening the app is usually a positive experience for me.
Related, I enjoyed this story on GMA this week about breaking up with your phone.
On the topic of blogging and social media…
Finn turned 16 weeks old today.
Amanda James Photography
And I’ve been thinking a lot about digital privacy. I mentioned this when I was pregnant but it’s been weighing on my heart so heavily lately. I have shared almost a decade of my life on the internet. I’m still so uncertain about how I feel about sharing Finn’s life online. With every day, week and month that passes, I find myself feeling more and more protective of him and thinking more and more about what and how much I want to share.
Let’s see…what else? Let’s lighten it up a bit.
I was happy to see that cottage cheese is having a moment. This was photo was posted on Bon Appetit’s Instagram this week with a recipe link to homemade cottage cheese. See, I told you Instagram was a happy place for me. You just have to remember that you are the manager of your feed and if something on it makes you feel crappy, hit the unfollow button. Fill your feed up with things like cottage cheese bowls.
And cute golden retrievers.
I’ll do a post soon with some of my favorite IG accounts to follow.
OH!
Photo Jim Hipple/UGA
Happy college football season and GO DAWGS! I’m still a little heartbroken about that national championship miss last season but excited to follow along. I will forever be college football > pro. I can take or leave the Carolina Panthers.
Some fun things coming next week. Look out for an announcement on Monday about a fitness + running partnership with Emily Breeze. Catch me in Toronto next week where I’ll be leading the run at Wanderlust.
I should go to bed now. Thanks for reading guys. xx
Thoughts on kiddos + digital privacy?
Current favorite IG account to follow?
Collage or pro and who’s your team?
As much as I enjoy seeing/reading about Finn, I understand this. I post minimal pictures of my kids online (they are 4 and 1 and there are maybe 10 combined). I do it for safety and because I don’t think it’s fair of me to make every move they make public. They can decide what they want public when they are old enough to understand privacy and the internet. That said, I don’t judge others who share more – the right decision is different for every family.
I love following the Dogist on instagram for great puppy pics!
I’m a Michigan State and Detroit Lions fan ?
I think your concerns about Finn’s privacy make sense. Maybe check out Hannah Gale on instagram – she posts photos of her son on Instagram stories, but always blocks out his face. From a viewer’s perspective it seems like a good balance! Whatever you decide is best will be great for Finn. 🙂 Thanks for sharing with us and have a great weekend!
I have a private Facebook group for my daughter to share pictures and anecdotes with a few family and friends. I figure that she’s little and she can decide when she’s older how much of her life she wants to share on the internet when she better understand the consequences of doing so.
I used to love Facebook, and I can’t put my finger on exactly what changed, but man it is just such a joy sucker. When I started using it less, Facebook didn’t like that and started sending me notifications like crazy, which also did not make me happy. I thought about leaving, but there are people that I want to keep in touch with and it’s convenient to have an account for other reasons, so I stayed. I turned off all notifications a long time ago and that was a huge improvement. I ended up taking the app off my phone to free up space and haven’t missed it.
WeRateDogs and Beth Stern (Howard Stern’s wife/animal rescuer extraordinaire) are great insta accounts!
Beth Stern’s insta is my absolute favorite!
Totally understand questioning that of your kids’ lives to post online. We don’t post anything of the kids on facebook (and I’ve deactivated my account and my husband hasn’t been on in years). We only use IG and closely control so can see our feeds. As Rhett get older I find myself posting less often because I’m actively trying to not be behind the phone when I’m with them.
Thank you for posting the article about taking time with space. It resonated a lot this morning and leaves me with some things to ponder.
Happy Saturday and have a great weekend!
YES to getting rid of Facebook. My husband and I are trying to start a family and while it has not happened for us yet, I felt like every time I logged in someone was announcing they were pregnant. Just was not heathy for me mentally to keep seeing. Deleted Facebook and never looked back on all that drama!
Such a tough one even for those of us who don’t have a public platform so to speak. I have the luxury of choosing who sees my social platforms, and therefore I do believe the majority of people truly enjoy the updates of my little – she has a pretty loving fan club. That being said, I still don’t post a whole lot, and I try to only post positive things, I don’t think it’s fair to post her in what could be embarrassing moments. You are doing a great job balancing, as a long time reader I’m always curious about your life, but I also completely respect your and Finn’s right to privacy.
You’ve had a lot happen in the last year or so, my heart has hurt for you, but I’m so happy to see your relationship with Finn over the last 4 months. So special. I have a lot of respect for how you are handling it all. I love your comments about taking space and allowing yourself to see the next steps, very wise. Wishing you the very best. J
I totally understand the digital privacy. My husband and I made the choice to keep our kids off of social media. For me it felt weird to put their picture out in the world without them having a say in it. Everyone is different and I love looking at other people’s kids!
I deleted Facebook three years ago and it was the best thing ever.
Yes to digital privacy for your little one. I hate when I see IG/Bloggers use their kids for products and ad renvenue. A written update is fine (I think Deb Pearlman does a great job of this. Also, for safety. I have seen kids out that I recognize from their parent’s feed. It feels icky. And kinda wrong. But, at the same time, it’s the life and they want to share.
Jenny Mollen always covers her kids and it’s hilarious.
I get the social media/digital privacy concern, too, but I have to say that that picture of you and Finn is the cutest, sweetest thing ever! The joy on both of your faces! ?
Inspired in part from your post, I just logged out of facebook on my phone and plan to take a little break from it. Social media really helps me stay connected with friends/family that I otherwise might not connect with as much, but it is SUCH a time suck. And it can really be an emotional suck too.
Digital privacy is such a strange thing to figure out. It feels like the norms are shifting. I don’t really have a strong opinion about sharing pictures and anecdotes about parent life, but I do sometimes see bloggers post really personal things about their kids and think, hm, I wonder if someday the kid will wish their parent hadn’t posted that.
That golden Instagram account is so cute! If you’re not already, you should follow We Rate Dogs – the “worst” rating is 11/10.
I agree with you about facebook. Such a downer! I cringe every time I (stupidly) decide to open it!
I understand you’re feelings about sharing too much of Finn on the internet. However, I will say that seeing his smiling face brings me GREAT joy every time! He’s a doll and I love seeing pics of him!
I think you do a beautiful job on sharing your life + Finn’s online yet keeping everything private enough! <3 I enjoy reading so much!! I think that's why I have IG so much since you can unfollow anything that doesn't bring you JOY! I hope you're having a lovely weekend! <3
Long time reader, first time commenter – Regarding kids and digital privacy, we’ve never posted pictures of our kids online, tried to keep things about them private, etc. but when they became teenagers they totally wrecked all of our attempts. We have had many, many talks with them regarding the fact that whatever they post can stay with them for a very long time (or forever). I think for the most part we’ve been pretty successful but I know there have been some things posted that I haven’t been happy with and made them delete. That’s with us monitoring their activity. All this to say, I love seeing pictures of your sweet little guy but I understand the desire to pull back from that. Also, it only gets more difficult the more autonomous they become. You can never start having the ‘online’ talk too early in my opinion. You’re such an intuitive mom, I know you’ve got this covered! As an aside, what a weird world we’re living in! I would have never thought about anything like this when I was a kid!!
You’re last post sounds like me just a few months ago. I was exhausted with Facebook and it’s negativity so I deleted the app (I didn’t cancel my account bc it’s how I share albums with family far away). I did keep my instagram for the same reasons as you. It’s so much more positive. People encouraging others to be happy, fit, or just a happy puppy to brighten your day. I was struggling to get pregnant and women on Instagram helped me feel less alone. Then when I did get pregnant I started following a hashtag and found you and a few other pregnant woman. I’ve loved following you through your pregnancy and postpartum. What you’ve shared has helped me be more prepared and feel less alone. I don’t have any mommy friends, so it’s comforting to read the advice of other first time moms.
Keep sharing. Keep the positivity. You’re words and shares and helping and touching people 🙂
Hi Jen–kids and the internet are a big topic at our house. I do have a facebook account and I’ve posted about them periodically over the years. I do have a rule though–nothing personal and nothing embarrassing or negative. Mainly I share vacation pics, their accomplishments, and outings with me or their dad. Just fun, lighthearted stuff. One of your other viewers commented that none of us was raised with all of this and I definitely feel that generation gap. I think I would’ve been very uncomfortable with my parents sharing anything too personal online. Also, the fact that the posts never go away is something we talk about a lot. My kids are older of course, 15 and 12. It’s a really hard line to walk but I think you’re really smart to want to protect him and to be wary of sharing too much.
just want to say i think you’re awesome 🙂 you have fans/readers no matter what!
Privacy online for your kids is such a personal and touchy subject. I shared about my kids pretty openly when they were babies and toddlers, but as they have gotten older (with one in middle school) I have tried to be more respectful of what they want. And for one of my kids, that mostly means they aren’t featured very much on my online accounts.
I think it’s awesome you’re already so conscious of that. Mama knows best.
Personally, I would not blog or share things about my son on public platforms. That being said, it is a tricky subject because I read these blogs (less and less I should say), this is possible because some people do it. And it is trickier because you have a salary while doing so… Maybe the answer is not black and white. But I believe you should protect your little one, maybe one day he will be happy about his life being partially public.
I am in a similar place with the need for space–and sitting in quiet. And learning to be okay with it. And once you start to feel more at peace with it–wow. It is calming and wonderful. I hope you’re finding that too <3 Hugs to you and Finn.
I’m a bit of a hypocrite because I absolutely love seeing pictures of other people’s kids and families but I don’t share my own. I didn’t have a facebook account for the longest time but then it really became to communicate with my son’s teacher so I made account and only use it for his teacher and school events and my daughter’s daycare. I have signed waivers though for their photos not to be posted on their accounts and both the school and daycare have been very good at not showing them in photos. We don’t allow our family members to share pictures of them either and everyone is very respectful of it. So, while I’d miss seeing his cute little face or reading about his developments I would totally understand not sharing.
BTW – I’ve always loved cottage cheese and enjoy trying different mix ins with it so this is one ‘trend’ I’ll be on board with!
Jen – feel what you feel and take all the space you need without feeling guilty. It’s hard enough to experience life without having to re-experience it publicly on a blog and social media again and again. I can’t even imagine. I respect you very much for being protective of Finn and yourself during this time in your life. Don’t be apologetic – just follow your heart and follow what feeds your soul and helps you put one foot in front of the other. ♥️