Hey guys. Just a head’s up that I’m going to be talking about food and weight in this post so if that’s a trigger for you, check back in with me tomorrow for an awesome fall yoga flow. <3
In the food, fitness and health space a lot of the focus is on weight loss. But what happens when you need to go the other way? I’ve received quite a few emails from readers throughout the years asking for help with needing to gain weight. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of time they are nervous or even embarrassed to be asking about it.
I am now finding myself in their shoes…and it feels like something I don’t want to talk about here but need to talk about here. I realize that at four months postpartum, many women are just beginning their journeys of losing pregnancy weight and getting back into a fitness routine so it is difficult for me to say that my focus at four months postpartum is gaining weight. I don’t want any other woman to feel like she is not perfect exactly where she is on her unique postpartum journey.
Anxiety and stress have always manifested physically for me. When I am dealing with hard or sad things, the first thing to go is my appetite and when I do eat, my stomach is a mess. The last few months have been tough and in dealing with it all, I have lost too much weight. I also think that breastfeeding has been quite an energy drain on my body. (But something that I love doing and am committed to continuing!)
I have been making a conscious effort to increase my food and calorie intake with the intention of gaining weight. I’m still primarily walking for fitness but I am working out 2-3 times a week doing running and/or strength training. The goal with that is not weight loss but rather gaining muscle mass and having a healthy outlet for emotional stuff.
Some of the things that are most effective for me when it comes to stress, anxiety and the stomach and gaining weight are…
- Eating with other people. This one is huge and it helps so much.
- Snacking more. Everything from bars to chips to peanut butter filled pretzels to spoonfuls of nut butter and everything in between.
- Smoothies with lots of full-fat yogurt and nut butter.
- Choosing full-fat dairy whenever possible.
- Adding collagen powder to coffee or tea.
- More carbs. They are just so easy for me to digest when my stomach is not at its most settled.
- Daily ice cream or other treats.
- Adding healthy fats wherever I can like nuts, nut butter, avocado, lots of real butter, etc.
It can sometimes be a hard line to walk of wanting to still eat pretty healthy overall and not just eating crap to try to gain weight.
Thanks for letting me talk about this here. I always want to share as openly as I can and this felt like something I had to address. I would love to hear any insights you might have on this topic if it’s one you can relate to.
To wrap it up, some recent eats.
BREAKFAST
5% Fage plain Greek yogurt, homemade granola, peanut butter, cherries, blueberries and bananas.
Yogurt, fruit and granola at Amelie’s and a cappuccino made with whole milk.
LUNCH
Lots of turkey sandwiches with mayo, mustard, avocado, cheese and bread and butter pickles.
Salad with arugula, lemon juice, honey and olive oil and topped with carrots, avocado, pears, pepitas, feta, chickpeas and dried cranberries.
Lunch at a friend’s house and she served the most delicious spinach and tomato quiche and salad. I LOVE QUICHE! Seriously, it’s one of my all-time favorite foods.
DINNER
Leftover turkey and sweet potato chili (a take on this recipe). I had a slice of pumpkin bread on the side.
Trader Joe’s cauliflower rice stir fry, scrambled eggs and ground turkey. Seasoned with ginger soy sauce and Sriracha. Each serving of this had 1/4 pound ground turkey, one scrambled egg and half the bag of the stir fry mix.
Trader Joe’s cauliflower gnocchi with sauteed Italian sausage, sauteed mushrooms, baby spinach and ALDI butternut pumpkin pasta sauce. I also melted a slice of cheese in the dish and topped it with parmesan. This was really good as a dish but the cauliflower gnocchi was just okay. Kinda mushy. I’ll stick with the real thing.
You’ll notice that my dinners are one-dish meals and things that I can eat two nights in a row. That is about all I can manage right now with Finn in the evenings!
ETC
Post-dinner slice of buttered sourdough toast with jam.
Homemade pumpkin apple bread. Recipe soon!
My friend that served quiche for lunch also made this delicious mixed berry crisp.
Finally, salted fudge brownies with ice cream.
Does stress/anxiety/emotions affect your appetite? If so, how do you deal?
Did you find that you needed to increase calories/food intake with breastfeeding?
Thank you for sharing this post. The first part of this year was very stressful for me and I lost weight. That meant not wanting to eat. Once I got my anxiety under control, I started to eat normally again. On another note, can’t wait for that pumpkin-apple bread recipe. Take care!
This happened to me, too. With all the anxiety of a newborn, I just simply wasn’t eating enough. Once that subsided and I was feeling more like myself (around 8 months), my body went back to normal. Hang in there!
Hi Jen! I have found with breastfeeding and getting back into distance running, I’m having to up my calorie intake as well. Also, when things get tough with my postpartum anxiety my appetite is the first thing to go. I struggled with this so much immediately after the birth of my daughter 5 months ago. I had NO interest in eating and when I did, I felt like I was force feeding myself and it’d make me feel sicker. Thankfully that has gone away for the most part, but some things I’m doing now to keep my calorie intake up-
ALLLLL the healthy fats. At least one avocado per day, banana, nut butters in my oats & smoothies..
I try and snack/have more small meals throughout the day.
♥️
I have always had digestive issues, which are amped way up when I am under stress as well. I definitely don’t eat enough when it comes to my activity level, especially during periods of stress. I do not tolerate grains very well and find I turn to fat sources to ensure my calorie intake stays a bit more acceptable, given that fat needs to have many more calories per smaller amounts of food.
Thank you so so much for sharing Jen!! I am in a similar situation thanks so breastfeeding continually for almost 4.5 (I have two daughters) as well as autoimmune thyroid issues and just being an active, busy mom who has several food intolerances. When I first got sick with graves and hashimotos but hadn’t been diagnosed people would congratulate me on ‘bouncing back’ and losing weight and I wanted to scream bec I felt awful and didn’t want to lose weight. It’s still a process for me to gain weight but I’ve slowly been able to put 5 lbs on and am hoping to put on another 5 more. My younger daughter is 2 and only nursing twice a day now so that’s helped. I also always have 3 solid meals and 3 snacks (even if I’m not hungry), try not to overload on veggies, always have several sources of fat at each meal, lots of nut butter, hummus, avoacado and olive oil. I can eat cows milk but always have some sheeps milk cheese too.
People think it’s always the goal and that it’s something a post partum mom is striving for but it’s not! And once you get back up to a healthier level that works for you it will be worth the effort. ❤️
I’m the same way. My appetite is always the first to go! Usually I don’t even notice or realize it until someone I care about asks about it. The good news is you are aware of the issue and working hard to stay on top of it and gain back some weight. Breastfeeding calories are intense! Hang in there! You’re doing a great job mom-ing Finn and taking care of yourself.
I’ve had a tough year and have seen my appetite decrease, as well. Thank you for sharing honestly about your journey!
I ate so much nut butter + avocados while I was nursing!!
During the early parts of my divorce, I could barely choke down my English muffin with pb for breakfast. I remember drinking orange juice and eating pretzel rods just to make sure I had something! I always think about it and whenever I get upset since, I try to tell myself that nothing and no one is allowed to upset me enough to steal my appetite. In some ways that works but I also know that the pain of my divorce was much worse than anything else I’ve gone through and really – i think that experience did make me stronger and probably why I don’t lose my appetite like I did when I’m dealing with things. That being said, I so understand and wish you only the best xoxox
I can totally relate. My divorce 4 years ago was brutal on me and my last priority was eating. I know you cant see this now, but i promise there is another side to this and you will make it. When people told me that in 2014 i couldnt see how or why. But here i am, 15 pounds heavier and much happier. Take it one day at a time and drink some wine at the end of the day to reward yourself for getting through that day 🙂
I almost gave up on Trader Joe’s cauliflower gnocchi, but figured out the perfect way to prepare them. I thaw them in the fridge the night before I cook them, so adding 1/4 c. water (as the recipe suggests) is unnecessary. I heat a nonstick skillet with some olive oil and add the gnocchi in. After they are nearly done I liberally add Trader Joe’s Onion Salt and a few shakes of Penzey’s Brady Street Cheese Sprinkle (If you don’t have a Penzey’s near you, you can add 1/4 c. shredded Parmesan cheese or more to taste). The cheese allows the gnocchi to crisp up on the outside so they aren’t all mush. Let them cook with the cheese a few minutes longer until it browns slightly (cook on medium high heat). Once finished, devour! I made them for my mom who is NOT into the whole cauliflower-take-over-the-world trend, and she loved them!
Thank you for this comment! I had the same “mush” issue the first time I tried them…and I have a second bag sitting in my freezer that I haven’t wanted to open. I’ll try this idea and hopefully they turn out better 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this post, Jen! I was in your same shoes post Delaney. I couldn’t keep up with the demands of breastfeeding and the workouts that I was doing. I found myself absolutely exhausted and experienced so many gut troubles – and now…hormone disfunction ( still havent regained my period)!!! We finished up last November and I am finally starting to get back to a healthier place. I realized that I honestly couldn’t intake enough to keep up with the workouts (strength and HIIT) that I was doing. I had to pull back immensely and focus on mainly yoga to allow the stress to dissipate. I look and feel so much better, but my hormones still need some help! Hang in there. I know you have so much on your plate right now & you’re doing an amazing job!
The smallest I’ve ever been is a few months after having my babies. It’s definitely hard to balance life during the first year, and we tend to focus much more on the baby. My weight always went back to normal after life and anxiety settled. Thanks for being so open! Hang in there…
With my first, I struggled to keep weight on and, eventually, with my milk supply (as a full time outside the home working mom who had to pump). I think it was a combo of not eating enough, too intense workouts (lots of running and HIIT) and being off dairy due to baby’s allergy. This time around, I’ve found mixing in more lighter workouts helpful as well as logging my food. The latter is not normally a healthy behavior for me but I realized I need to do it now to make sure I’m eating enough. Seeing the numbers helps me eat more even if I’m not feeling particularly hungry. I use my Fitbit calorie counter as a guide (I know it’s not perfect) and always aim for 300-500 calories over my “total” to account for breastfeeding (to maintain) – even a little more on running days as that seems to take more out of me. My son is a week younger than yours but it seems to be helping so far. Finally, healthy fat at every meal is crucial right now.
You’re doing all the right things to healthfully regain weight (I’m a Registered Dietitian ☺️). Listening to your intuitive cravings and amping up calories with healthy fats is a great approach. Seems like you get plenty of seasonal produce for vitamins and minerals, you vary your protein intake and you savor treats. If you’re looking for even more, maybe try adding 1-2 spoonfuls of coconut oil to coffee or oatmeal. Take it slow and steady.
Thank you Pamela! These are very helpful suggestions and I’m glad to hear from an RD that you think I’m on the right track! 🙂
If you’re having trouble keeping weight on you should get your thyroid checked. I’m 7 months postpartum and have always been slim, but I was clinging to 5 pounds of pregnancy weight until August when it rapidly came off (and then some). Turns out I have an overactive thyroid (Graves disease) which can be life-threatening if not treated. Unfortunately my milk supply has dropped a lot as a result of the weight loss and I have to supplement with formula now, I’m hoping it will go back up once I get my thyroid under control. I think its pretty rare but definitely something worth getting checked out if you’re unintentionally losing weight.
I second this!! Mine was also related to Graves’ disease so always good to check especially post partum.
Thank you so much for this. I had no idea.
Oh wow, thank you for sharing. I had no idea.
Thanks for sharing Jen! You’re right that everyone focuses on the opposite and I think society as a whole, puts so much pressure on weight loss as well. But each journey (and person) is SO different! As for your breastfeeding question, I am sooo much hungrier than marathon training or any time in my life. I think eating so much is helping with my milk production too so I try and stay on top of hunger as best I can.
I couldn’t agree more with you on the focus and it’s just not the most important thing! I try to keep my primary focus on nursing and keeping my energy and milk supply up so that I can care for Finn!
Thank you for posting this! I’m 9 months postpartum and still have weight to lose and was working hardcore on it for a while but really burnt myself out and my milk supply really suffered. I’m not focusing on losing weight anymore but rather healthy habits and feeling my best (despite a teething baby). I think it’s important to point out that losing weight isn’t always going to be the most important focus!
Hey Sara – you are so right that weight is just not the most important focus with a baby, especially when it impacts milk supply and energy levels. Taking care of and nursing a baby requires so much from us. <3
Stress and anxiety always hit my appetite. The very thought of eating makes me feel sick to my stomach when things get tough. I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this along with the adjustment of a newborn.
Amy – YES. That feeling is exactly what I mean. Luckily, it is getting so much better now. Thank you so much for your supportive words.
Thank you for sharing! My son is now 20 months but I breastfed until he was 13 months. I didn’t really realize how many calories breastfeeding was expending, and like you, around that 4-6 mark I realized that I had lost too much weight. I was almost 10 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. I tried my best to gain a few lbs, and giving my son solids helped because he was nursing less, but it wasn’t until I stopped breastfeeding that I gained it back. I think I gained about 10 lbs in a month or two! Then I was a few lbs OVER my pre-pregnancy weight haha. It honestly didn’t bother me, but I think it was a clear sign that my body was starving and craved the extra weight. I just didn’t realize it when it was happening! You’re so smart to address it now. I’m pregnant again and I’m definitely going to make sure I eat way more when I’m breastfeeding this time around now that I know how my body reacts to it! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hey Susie – you are welcome and thank YOU for sharing your experience! Biggest congrats to you on baby number two!
Thank you for posting this! I have experienced too much weight loss after each one of my kids due to breastfeeding, hormones, stress, etc- resulting in some autoimmune issues which even throws off body more. Its still a struggle to put on weight for me and most people just don’t understand. I make sure to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day with lots of nut butters, avocado, coconut oil and smoothies! I have also had to stop high intensity workouts focusing more on walking and yoga. Hope you can find what works for you! XO
You’re welcome Logan. And thanks for sharing your experience. <3
I initially lost too much weight after childbirth and struggled with having enough energy for healing, breastfeeding, and being a mom in high spirits. It was a challenge to find the time to make and eat the meals and snacks that would really fuel me (dairy, nuts, meat, and cooked vegetables worked best for me). I had to work at making mealtimes pleasant and also had to give up my usual fitness routines – walks with baby and dog are what its all about now. But the effort was worth it – I’m feeling healthy and content with my new lifestyle. I have confidence that you are finding your way too.
Thanks so much for sharing your personal journey with the postpartum period and nourishing yourself. It is so helpful to read. <3
I’m so sorry for the pain and stress you have had to endure these last few months.
I have only experienced stress related eating issues once, when my husband left me for someone else. I do not have children so I did not have that as an extra concern but I stopped eating almost entirely and went from a healthy weight to 10 pounds underweight in a month (20 pound weight loss). I had never understood prior to that when people said they couldn’t eat because of stress and that is probably why some people react negatively to weight gain issues. It is difficult to understand from a weight loss perspective but I fully know having been on both sides that it is very very real. I had no appetite and zero interest in food.
However, you sound as though you have a much healthier mindset than I did at the time. I secretly enjoyed the weight loss. I felt empowered and in control of something. It was terrible unhealthy for my soul, my mind and my body.
A few months after continuing to lose weight, I got outside help and started to gain back the weight but gained back 40. I then stopped menstruating for the next four years as I over exercised and tried extreme diets to lose it.
Finally, after more work on myself, I found a healthy place and stopped controlling my food and developed my sense of self, lost the weight and am now very healthy with my menstrual cycle is back.
I admire you for how you are handling all of this and taking care of all those around you, including yourself.
You will be so much stronger on the other side of all this. Fin is so lucky to have you!
Thank you so much for your support. I’m so sorry about what happened with your husband. It just seems so unfair sometimes when life throws these things at us and the resulting emotional turmoil and how we deal is just all over the map. I’m glad to hear that you are in a better place now, truly. And thank you for sharing. I do know that I will emerge on the other side of this happier and stronger, the process is just tough to go through.
thank you for sharing, Jen. your blog is a gift to all us readers! sending you good and healthy wishes.
Thank you so much for the well wishes Allison. I appreciate your kindness.
It seems to be a common theme to loose appetite for a lot of people on here when under stress/experiencing extreme sadness. I definitely fall into that category too! One strange thing that happened this past year is that I knew I was not eating enough because I was sad and then to have random people tell me “wow, you’re looking really good” did not help. I wish we would all take a moment to consider any comments regarding weight. I don’t know if this has been the case, but maybe people have also said to you “wow, you really knocked that baby weight out” or something similar. Regardless, you seem very focused on keeping a healthy weight to support breast feeding and your activity. So proud of you for keeping at it! <3 <3 <3
OMG Amanda. YES. It is NOT helpful to hear comments like that…at all. I have received comments about losing the baby weight and it’s kind of hard for me because I don’t want people to think that my focus was losing baby weight…it was a byproduct of stress and breastfeeding. And I don’t WANT to look unhealthily thin. Everyone’s body is just so different. 🙁
Make the gnocchi in an air fryer!!!! SO DELICIOUS that way!!! Crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.
Thanks for the tip! I don’t have one!!!!
I never had a ton of milk it was always like just getting by. I remember my lactation consultant encouraging me to eat more healthy, whole fat foods to try to “fatten up” the milk as well. When I was nursing I switched to putting heavy cream in my coffee (!!!) and I also made sure to eat whole fat ice cream. I mean they say it burns like 800 calories a day to nurse. I think that declines as the baby begins solid foods but for now you should definitely be adding that much more per day to your “normal” caloric intake, and even more calories if you are working out. I also remember snacking on almonds a lot!
Oh I totally forgot! Make some lactation bites! Those things are full fat and high protein. Seriously awesome. There are a few recipes around. The ones I made had flaxseed, nutritional yeast, peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate chips and maybe a few other things.
Thank you! I am going to google that and make some this week!
I lost 15lbs while breastfeeding – not intentional at all and I was eating a lot, about 4,000 calories. However, the moment I stopped breastfeeding at 1 year it all came back. I am back to my normal, healthy weight. If you want to gain weight now, you definitely have to eat a lot more than you think you need!
This is so helpful to read Lindsey. Thank you!
Only with bf, without the stress factor, I was 6-7 pounds under my regular weight after 4 months also, and it was not good for me, I mean, it it not good for energy level. But like you, I noticed it, and with only walking and yoga, with pizzas, ice cream, beer (!), I was able to gain a bit. But bf can do that with some metabolism. Just have to be aware and roll with it.
Thanks for sharing that this is also something that you experienced. It really helps me. And love your beer suggestion. 😉
I really appreciate this type of post. I’ve been trying to gain healthy muscle mass for awhile and it’s not easy! Muscle also takes longer to add which is hard when I’m not patient! Plus, like you, I’m trying to do this as healthy as possible instead of just consuming more in general. I think the my fitness pal app has helped at least track what I am eating in a day to see what food groups I may be missing and to ensure I’m eating enough in a day. Also love to snack and try to always have something on hand.
Thanks Allyssa, I’m glad you found it helpful. I totally hear you on the challenge of gaining muscle mass. It takes a lot of work!!! That’s great that the app has helped you!
Hi Jenn, loved this post. Wow. The same thing happened to me with weight loss this summer when Haynes was around 9-10 months. Between the stress of moving, finding a new home, breastfeeding on demand, working remotely in a brand new town 1500 miles away from fam and friends — it. was. tough. And my stomach was a mess. I didn’t realize how much I’d lost until I saw my new obgyn here for an yearly physical. I barely weighted a 100lbs and I felt SO embarrassed by my low BMI. My clothes did feel a little baggy but I didn’t think too much of it. The first thing I thought was how the heck do I still have a crazy good supply?! I’ll never know. Luckily my doctor said this happens sometimes and that stress was obv playing a huge role. Once we found a new home things slowed down and we were able to find a new balance and routine. I was able to increase my calorie intake simply by having more time during the day. I also felt like eating more due to less stress! By 13/14 months I had gained 10lbs back. I’m up to about 12lbs now at 19 month postpartum — still a couple pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight. You’re right though – it’s tricky! I’m trying to gain some more muscle mass in the process and that’s proved to be I incredibly difficult. We are almost weaned now so I’m hoping my hormones can level out this month and I can once again find a new normal and routine for strength building. I have so much love and apprectiaion for my body after the last 2.5 years of supporting another human being. SO amazing! Again, thanks for posting this – would love to hear more on your journey in future posts! Like many other things in motherhood, no one talks about this! It’s allllll about the “bounce back” **eye roll***
Keep it up!!
-Jess